Cosima's Diaries
Recordings by Cosima Wagner between 1869 and 1883
Cosima Wagner kept her diaries from 1 January 1869 at Tribschen until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, so that Siegfried would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: Wagner’s talk, his dreams, the evening readings, the music, the visitors, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear him thinking aloud for so long. The diaries follow the Tribschen idyll, the building of the Bayreuth festival theatre and the composition of Parsifal.
The entries are arranged by year and month and each can be opened on its own page. The sections below trace the main lines of the diaries.
Cosima Wagner began her diaries at Tribschen on 1 January 1869 and kept them until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, and above all for Siegfried, so that he would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: what Wagner said at breakfast, his dreams, the evening readings of Shakespeare, Calderón and Goethe, the music played at the piano, the visitors, illnesses, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear Wagner thinking aloud for so long, or shows so clearly how his ideas moved in his last fourteen years. At Tribschen the household lives in a private idyll, sealed by the birth of a son and by marriage, with the Ring resumed and Nietzsche a frequent guest. From 1872 everything turns to Bayreuth and the building of a festival theatre, achieved through years of fundraising and near collapse. After the 1876 Ring the diaries draw inward to Parsifal, written at Wahnfried and finished on long Italian journeys, while Wagner’s talk reaches toward a religion of compassion drawn from Schopenhauer, Buddhism and the Gospels. The same pages record, often and plainly, the antisemitism of both Wagner and Cosima.
Tribschen. The first pages are a confession. Cosima, who had left Hans von Bülow for Wagner, calls her love “a rebirth, a deliverance,” and writes under a constant sense of guilt toward her husband that she never lost. The years at Tribschen bring the birth of Siegfried in June 1869, her divorce and her marriage to Wagner in the Protestant church at Lucerne on 25 August 1870, the Franco-Prussian War, the essay Beethoven and the completion of Siegfried. On her birthday that Christmas she woke to the Siegfried Idyll played on the staircase. Nietzsche first called on 17 May 1869 and became almost one of the family; his manuscript on the birth of tragedy arrived as a Christmas gift in 1870. Wagner’s remarks already circle the themes of his last years. Music, he said in November 1869, “is the direct product of Christianity, as is the saint,” and the next spring he described the Knight of the Grail as free because “he acts, not in his own behalf, but for others.” If anyone asked whether there was a God, he said in 1870, he would answer that at a moment when thousands are singing to him, “God is alive, he is there.”
Founding Bayreuth. In April 1871 the Wagners first saw Bayreuth; its baroque opera house “will not do for us at all; so we must build.” The foundation stone was laid in the rain on 22 May 1872, Wagner’s birthday, followed by the Ninth Symphony in the old opera house. The next four years are full of patrons, Wagner societies, singers, architects, concert tours and money. A royal loan in 1874 rescued the enterprise, and the family moved into Wahnfried that April. On 21 November 1874 Wagner finished the score of Götterdämmerung, a day Cosima remembered with tears, because he was hurt to find her reading a letter from her father at that moment. In between, Cosima converted to Protestantism on 31 October 1872 and took Communion with Wagner: “I felt as if our bond had only now been truly sealed.”
The first festival. The Ring was given complete for the first time in August 1876, before the German Emperor and much of musical Europe. The diaries record the mishaps as well as the triumph, and the exhaustion afterwards: looking back that November, Wagner said his main feeling during the performances had been “Never again, never again!” The festival left a large deficit, and the autumn in Italy brought two meetings that would shape the coming years: the last time the Wagners spent with Nietzsche, at Sorrento, and the first meeting with Count Arthur de Gobineau in Rome on 30 November.
The Parsifal years. Wagner began Parsifal in earnest in 1877 and finished the prose draft on 28 February (“The Redeemer unchained!” Cosima wrote) and the poem on 19 April. Composing the Communion scene that August, he told her that “this scene of Holy Communion will be the main scene, the core of the whole work.” The music grew slowly through 1878 and 1879 beside the founding of the Bayreuther Blätter, the regenerative essays and campaigns against vivisection, and the widening break with Nietzsche. In 1880 the family moved to Naples, where Paul von Joukowsky joined them as stage designer and the garden at Ravello suggested Klingsor’s magic garden; in Siena that August the cathedral moved Wagner to tears and became a model for the Temple of the Grail. That November he conducted the Prelude privately for King Ludwig in Munich. Gobineau stayed at Wahnfried in 1881, and Wagner read his books on race and on the Persians with growing enthusiasm. The score was finished in Palermo on 13 January 1882. “With this, as with all his other works,” Cosima wrote, “he had feared being interrupted by death.”
The premiere and Venice. Sixteen performances of Parsifal followed in July and August 1882, conducted by Hermann Levi. Wagner asked that the audience not call the singers out after the second act, rebuked a chorister for joking about the bread, and at the last performance took the baton himself for the end of the third act. The family then settled in the Palazzo Vendramin in Venice. The last months bring the news of Gobineau’s death, Liszt’s long visit, Hans von Bülow’s breakdown, and on Christmas Eve a performance at La Fenice of the symphony Wagner had written at nineteen, played as a birthday present to Cosima. He was weakened by repeated heart spasms, and he was still talking about writing symphonies and an essay on the feminine. The last entry, on 12 February 1883, ends with him at the piano playing the Rhinedaughters’ lament: “Extraordinary that I saw this so clearly at that time!”
Spirituality. The diaries are themselves partly a religious document. Cosima wrote under a sense of “unatonable guilt” toward Bülow and turned it into a discipline of renunciation. After her conversion she took Communion regularly, writing in 1873 that “the only true communion with people is before the altar,” and she read Meister Eckhart, Tauler, the Theologia Germanica and the Imitation of Christ (“Non sum! How dearly I should like to make that my motto!”). Her devotion to Wagner took the same form, and she wrote that in him she found “not my happiness, but my salvation.”
Wagner’s own faith was heterodox and he said so. Its foundation was Schopenhauer: “it was Schopenhauer who revealed Christianity to me,” he told Cosima in 1879. Through Schopenhauer came Buddhism and the Vedanta, which run through the diaries from first to last: the Buddhist drama Die Sieger, often planned and never written; the Brahmin saying “tat tvam asi,” which he spoke to Cosima at Christmas 1874; readings of the Bhagavad-Gita, the Upanishads and, in Venice, a new life of the Buddha. He set the two traditions side by side rather than choosing between them. Brahmanism was “the religion of intelligence,” but Christianity stood above it as “the religion of suffering.” Buddhism was “a flowering of the human spirit” with no church and no compulsion, and by studying the Buddha, he said in 1882, “one learns to understand Christianity.” Cosima put the difference in a sentence of her own: “Buddha does not move one, he teaches; Christ teaches by moving.”
At the centre stood Christ, kept apart from the church. “I do not believe in God, but in godliness, which is revealed in a Jesus without sin,” Wagner said in 1879, and he repeatedly complained that people “think only of the church and confuse this with Christianity.” In his last years he said that he recognized “no religion except compassion,” extended to animals as well as people, and this lay behind his vegetarian leanings and his fury at vivisection. Art was to carry what the churches had lost. “Art makes religions eternal,” he said in 1872; music was “the only possible church nowadays”; and in 1879 he gave the core of Religion and Art in a sentence, that religion should “influence ethics, and allow faith to be represented by art, which can transform illusion into truth.” “The path from religion to art bad, from art to religion good,” he noted in 1880.
Parsifal was where these ideas met, and the diaries show how carefully he guarded its tone. He called it “his most propitiatory work” and spoke of it as the dream vision of a rite, not the rite itself. He kept Christ off the stage on principle: “One cannot paint Christ, but one can portray him in music,” and to have Christ sung by a tenor was “a disgusting idea.” What he hoped for from his audience was less instruction than inward change, a recognition of suffering that leads to compassion and resignation. In December 1882 he said he would never again try to explain his ideas on the blood of Christ: “these are things one all of a sudden grasps.” Six weeks later, talking of Nature’s cruelty, he said it went on “until the appearance of the Saviour on the cross,” and added, “in the urge to put an end to the whole of Nature’s will to live.”
Nietzsche. The diaries hold the whole arc of the friendship. Nietzsche arrives in 1869 as a brilliant young professor who “knows R.’s works thoroughly,” spends holidays at Tribschen, writes The Birth of Tragedy under Wagner’s spell and stands beside him at the foundation stone. Cosima noticed early “a dubious streak” in him. The last meetings were at Sorrento in 1876. When Human, All Too Human arrived in April 1878, Wagner resolved not to read it, and by 1879 Cosima wrote that Nietzsche had “committed the one sin which cannot be atoned for, the sin against the Holy Ghost.” In later years Wagner spoke of him with contempt and some sorrow, as a promising mind that the modern world had ruined, while Cosima admitted that she could still remember only his friendly side.
Antisemitism. Hostile remarks about Jews by both Wagner and Cosima recur from the first year to the last, aimed at the press, critics, money, Meyerbeer and the modern theatre. In 1873 Wagner opposed intermarriage in racial terms, and the remarks grow harsher from 1879, when the antisemitic movement gathered in Berlin. That October, reading a speech by Adolf Stoecker, he was “in favor of expelling them entirely.” In December 1881, after the Ringtheater fire in Vienna, Cosima records him making “a drastic joke to the effect that all Jews should be burned at a performance of Nathan der Weise.” From 1881 Gobineau’s racial theories enter the conversation, though Wagner usually set Christianity against them; in June 1881 he was “downright explosive in favor of Christian theories in contrast to racial ones,” and that December he said that races were “done for, and all that can now make an impact is, as I have ventured to express it, the blood of Christ.” He also refused to sign the 1880 petition to Bismarck against the Jews, declined to let the Bayreuther Blätter join the agitation, and complained that nobody had noticed what Know Thyself said about “our own blame for our situation.”
The same diaries show Wagner depending on Jewish colleagues, above all Joseph Rubinstein, Angelo Neumann and Hermann Levi, and they show how that dependence was poisoned. In 1880 Wagner said he could not let Levi conduct Parsifal “unbaptized,” and in 1881 he told him he hoped to find “a formula which will make you feel completely one of us.” When an anonymous letter that summer made Levi ask to be released, Wagner wrote persuading him to return, and Levi conducted every performance in 1882 and was with the family in Venice in February 1883. One of the last entries records Wagner saying that “the Jews, the good ones,” were “condemned to a gently resigned asceticism.”
Because the diaries run to thousands of entries, the table below is a finding aid rather than a summary. Choose a year and month to browse, or search the entries, then open a day to read it in full.
| Date | Word Count | Subject |
|---|---|---|
| January 1, 1874 | 153 | The year opens with a fragile mix of ceremony and dread: a family outing and lunch are shadowed by worries over money, patronage, and the silence that may follow if the King does not come through. A raven briefly feels like a sign, but the day ends in real alarm when R. falls ill and the doctor is summoned. |
| January 2, 1874 | 111 | R. remains physically drained, so the household shifts around his weakness while the writer seeks calm among the plants in the conservatory. Beneath the domestic routine lies the heavier burden of political and financial uncertainty, and the evening reading of Luther offers only a stern, austere kind of solace. |
| January 3, 1874 | 109 | The day moves between spiritual reflection and nervous wit, with a moving passage about Christ, a joke about “world asthma,” and R.’s sense that he is being kept alive by unreliable successes and royal favor. Even short walks leave him agitated, while the newspapers bring more signs of an unsettled public world. |
| January 4, 1874 | 152 | A restless household is interrupted by visitors and farewells, and the writer bears the strain of hosting alone while R. is unwell. Malwida’s uncertain health and possible departure deepen the melancholy, but the largest disappointment is professional: still no favorable decision, and the performances may have to be canceled. |
| January 5, 1874 | 233 | Exhaustion, fear, and money trouble compress the day into something almost unmanageable, and even ordinary hospitality feels like an effort against despair. Yet the evening reading and conversation still create flashes of intimacy, and R.’s reflection on life without her reveals how deeply they depend on one another. |
| January 6, 1874 | 305 | An early-morning discussion turns into a decisive shift: rather than keep pretending the project can continue as planned, they confront the need to abandon the performances and tell the truth to their supporters. The day is full of uneasy correspondence, family troubles, and ethical arguments about love and desire, but also a faint release as R. seems relieved to face reality. |
| January 7, 1874 | 299 | Although R. is still worn down, his mood lifts enough for him to rethink strategy and speak with some clarity about prudence, honesty, and survival. The couple’s emotional dependence becomes almost devotional, with thoughts of being deserted by everyone else and a wish to remain together even in death, while a small political opening offers a sliver of hope. |
| January 8, 1874 | 452 | News arrives that the King’s anger over a humiliating poem may have helped sink the guarantee, and the friends immediately start improvising damage control. The day swings between practical schemes, legal anxieties, and domestic embarrassment, yet the repeated vexations also sharpen the couple’s awareness of how completely they stand by each other. |
| January 10, 1874 | 160 | The conservatory offers a rare sanctuary, and the writer takes deep comfort in the living green while the house itself remains cold and difficult. R.’s tenderness toward the children and his talk of Nordic life and nature soften the day, but the evening reading returns them to the sorrow of mortality and family loss. |
| January 11, 1874 | 319 | Conversation drifts toward grand political and artistic possibilities, with the couple imagining what a more fitting ruler might have done for German culture. Yet the mood is not purely theoretical: a child’s spontaneous remark breaks them into laughter, domestic tensions simmer, and R.’s recovery brings only temporary relief before the household’s recurring troubles reassert themselves. |
| January 12, 1874 | 162 | The day is divided between memories of past hardship, the demands of the unfinished house, and a quiet return to Werther that leaves the writer deeply stirred. R’s teasing presence lightens the evening, while his work on the biography and the blue ink he gives her underline how closely their daily lives and intellectual interests remain intertwined. |
| January 13, 1874 | 206 | The thaw keeps her indoors as R. labors over the biography and grows more bitter about Paris, politics, and the parliamentary scene. Their reading moves restlessly from Holderlin to the Upanishads, but the real evening drama is their shared irritation with vanity, public life, and the limits of what certain writers can truly move them. |
| January 14, 1874 | 494 | With the thaw advanced, she busies herself with the house, the garden, and the painter while R. continues his corrections and toys with enlarging the Idyll in a way she resists. The children bring warmth, but the day's deepest energy comes from long conversations with R. about love, masculinity, and the strange force of the Upanishads and Richard III. |
| January 15, 1874 | 385 | The morning begins with tenderness from R., yet the day quickly turns into a tangle of practical worries, moral discomfort, and the burdens of property and work. Her encounter with the old woman leaves her ashamed and self-reproachful, while the evening returns them to books even as construction problems and bad water continue to press on them both. |
| January 17, 1874 | 428 | R. wakes from a night of unsettling dreams and seems worn down by accumulating annoyances, from correspondence mishandled to the failure of the second fountain's water. She finds brief consolation in the blooming cyclamen and in the children skating, but R.’s mood remains strained until their reading and conversation draw them back into shared thought. |
| January 18, 1874 | 150 | The day is dominated by debt, disappointment, and the bitter irony of public success arriving just as private finances remain desperate. R. is ill-tempered and agitated, lashing out through satire and politics, while she tries to keep him from sending off one more cutting gesture to the world. |
| January 19, 1874 | 145 | She spends much of the day on practical domestic matters, from choosing carpets and curtains to following up on failed arrangements in Vienna, while R. finishes Richard III with evident excitement. The book's grim force and the echoes of imperial violence give their evening reading a darker historical resonance than the ordinary errands around it. |
| January 20, 1874 | 143 | A lively exchange about nationality and marriage gives way to the happiest news of the day: R. is orchestrating the second act. The spring weather and the sounds in the garden brighten the atmosphere, but the visitor and the book on India also remind them how much ideological confusion and religious weakness surround them. |
| January 21, 1874 | 179 | The birthday gift of pate de foie gras becomes a small moral drama, and both of them swear off it in disgust, while she is held at home by eye trouble and restless with the wish to shape her children well. R. reads to them and plays Beethoven, and the music stirs in her a sense of maternity, inward force, and the pressure of a life that wants to break beyond its vessel. |
| January 22, 1874 | 87 | R. works, makes a dutiful visit, and returns depressed by the coldness and business-mindedness he encountered, with the building debt still hanging over them. The news of Professor Ott's suicide deepens the gloom, and their evening reading leaves them both impatient with outsiders who treat serious matters as mere curiosities. |
| January 23, 1874 | 79 | News of a new American edition of Beethoven and the scattered gifts from supporters in several cities lifts the household slightly, though the sum still feels painfully inadequate against the scale of what is needed. The evening spent on India gives the day a quieter, inward close, like a momentary reprieve from practical anxieties. |
| January 24, 1874 | 134 | At last the long-delayed royalties from Berlin arrive, confirming that his work brings in the strongest returns, even if the payment comes grudgingly and too late. Her own inability to read or write because of eye trouble makes the evening reading fall to him, and their conversation turns affectionate and intimate as he dreams up new overtures and she feels how completely their lives are bound together. |
| January 25, 1874 | 112 | The children are sobered by attending a funeral, while professional news from Hoffmann adds more uncertainty and questions about commissions. She admires R. for remaining buoyant under pressure, and their shared walk and evening study give the day a gentler tone, with the landscape and their companionship briefly outweighing the surrounding strain. |
| January 26, 1874 | 133 | Translations, letters, and reports of success from abroad give her a sense that his work is beginning to travel, yet the triumphs still seem remote from their immediate life and finances. Amid reflections on religion and culture, the day ends in laughter as he reads Aristophanes, leaving her with a brighter, more playful feeling than the news earlier in the day suggested. |
| January 27, 1874 | 238 | A friendly letter from the King stirs hope, but it does not settle the larger question of whether the guarantee will finally be granted, so uncertainty remains in the background. She and R. move between political worries, thoughts of the people who have drifted away from him, and the force of his music, which she sees as one of his richest achievements; his declaration that he has her is the emotional center of the day. |
| January 28, 1874 | 245 | The household is suspended between anticipation and fear as they wait to learn whether the project is postponed or secured, and she spends the day trying not to intensify his anxiety. Around that tension, the evening brings restless intellectual talk, a glimpse of his cheerful side in conversation with a peasant woman, and her own private stillness in the moonlit conservatory. |
| January 29, 1874 | 311 | While she watches the children on the ice and he works on the second act, the practical world advances with promises of money and news that the necessary guarantee may finally make everything possible. Yet the day is not only public and financial; a careless remark from Daniella pierces her deeply, leaving her shaken, ashamed, and resolved to hold herself together for both the child’s sake and R.'s peace of mind. |
| January 30, 1874 | 435 | She remains wounded by the previous day’s remark, but tries to respond to Daniella with restraint and moral clarity rather than punishment or bitterness. The entry is shaped by inward struggle: she sees her suffering as something to be borne before God, while letters and a social visit carry on around her, and Schott’s tentative interest offers a small practical encouragement at the end. |
| January 31, 1874 | 111 | R. is pleased with his letter to Schott and the promise it seems to hold, and the family has a quieter outing together in the afternoon. In the evening, though her eyes are still weak, she listens as he ranges from Plato to Indian thought, turning the day into a meditation on art, philosophy, and the different ways truth can be approached. |
| No diary entries found. | ||