Cosima's Diaries
Recordings by Cosima Wagner between 1869 and 1883
Cosima Wagner kept her diaries from 1 January 1869 at Tribschen until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, so that Siegfried would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: Wagner’s talk, his dreams, the evening readings, the music, the visitors, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear him thinking aloud for so long. The diaries follow the Tribschen idyll, the building of the Bayreuth festival theatre and the composition of Parsifal.
The entries are arranged by year and month and each can be opened on its own page. The sections below trace the main lines of the diaries.
Cosima Wagner began her diaries at Tribschen on 1 January 1869 and kept them until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, and above all for Siegfried, so that he would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: what Wagner said at breakfast, his dreams, the evening readings of Shakespeare, Calderón and Goethe, the music played at the piano, the visitors, illnesses, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear Wagner thinking aloud for so long, or shows so clearly how his ideas moved in his last fourteen years. At Tribschen the household lives in a private idyll, sealed by the birth of a son and by marriage, with the Ring resumed and Nietzsche a frequent guest. From 1872 everything turns to Bayreuth and the building of a festival theatre, achieved through years of fundraising and near collapse. After the 1876 Ring the diaries draw inward to Parsifal, written at Wahnfried and finished on long Italian journeys, while Wagner’s talk reaches toward a religion of compassion drawn from Schopenhauer, Buddhism and the Gospels. The same pages record, often and plainly, the antisemitism of both Wagner and Cosima.
Tribschen. The first pages are a confession. Cosima, who had left Hans von Bülow for Wagner, calls her love “a rebirth, a deliverance,” and writes under a constant sense of guilt toward her husband that she never lost. The years at Tribschen bring the birth of Siegfried in June 1869, her divorce and her marriage to Wagner in the Protestant church at Lucerne on 25 August 1870, the Franco-Prussian War, the essay Beethoven and the completion of Siegfried. On her birthday that Christmas she woke to the Siegfried Idyll played on the staircase. Nietzsche first called on 17 May 1869 and became almost one of the family; his manuscript on the birth of tragedy arrived as a Christmas gift in 1870. Wagner’s remarks already circle the themes of his last years. Music, he said in November 1869, “is the direct product of Christianity, as is the saint,” and the next spring he described the Knight of the Grail as free because “he acts, not in his own behalf, but for others.” If anyone asked whether there was a God, he said in 1870, he would answer that at a moment when thousands are singing to him, “God is alive, he is there.”
Founding Bayreuth. In April 1871 the Wagners first saw Bayreuth; its baroque opera house “will not do for us at all; so we must build.” The foundation stone was laid in the rain on 22 May 1872, Wagner’s birthday, followed by the Ninth Symphony in the old opera house. The next four years are full of patrons, Wagner societies, singers, architects, concert tours and money. A royal loan in 1874 rescued the enterprise, and the family moved into Wahnfried that April. On 21 November 1874 Wagner finished the score of Götterdämmerung, a day Cosima remembered with tears, because he was hurt to find her reading a letter from her father at that moment. In between, Cosima converted to Protestantism on 31 October 1872 and took Communion with Wagner: “I felt as if our bond had only now been truly sealed.”
The first festival. The Ring was given complete for the first time in August 1876, before the German Emperor and much of musical Europe. The diaries record the mishaps as well as the triumph, and the exhaustion afterwards: looking back that November, Wagner said his main feeling during the performances had been “Never again, never again!” The festival left a large deficit, and the autumn in Italy brought two meetings that would shape the coming years: the last time the Wagners spent with Nietzsche, at Sorrento, and the first meeting with Count Arthur de Gobineau in Rome on 30 November.
The Parsifal years. Wagner began Parsifal in earnest in 1877 and finished the prose draft on 28 February (“The Redeemer unchained!” Cosima wrote) and the poem on 19 April. Composing the Communion scene that August, he told her that “this scene of Holy Communion will be the main scene, the core of the whole work.” The music grew slowly through 1878 and 1879 beside the founding of the Bayreuther Blätter, the regenerative essays and campaigns against vivisection, and the widening break with Nietzsche. In 1880 the family moved to Naples, where Paul von Joukowsky joined them as stage designer and the garden at Ravello suggested Klingsor’s magic garden; in Siena that August the cathedral moved Wagner to tears and became a model for the Temple of the Grail. That November he conducted the Prelude privately for King Ludwig in Munich. Gobineau stayed at Wahnfried in 1881, and Wagner read his books on race and on the Persians with growing enthusiasm. The score was finished in Palermo on 13 January 1882. “With this, as with all his other works,” Cosima wrote, “he had feared being interrupted by death.”
The premiere and Venice. Sixteen performances of Parsifal followed in July and August 1882, conducted by Hermann Levi. Wagner asked that the audience not call the singers out after the second act, rebuked a chorister for joking about the bread, and at the last performance took the baton himself for the end of the third act. The family then settled in the Palazzo Vendramin in Venice. The last months bring the news of Gobineau’s death, Liszt’s long visit, Hans von Bülow’s breakdown, and on Christmas Eve a performance at La Fenice of the symphony Wagner had written at nineteen, played as a birthday present to Cosima. He was weakened by repeated heart spasms, and he was still talking about writing symphonies and an essay on the feminine. The last entry, on 12 February 1883, ends with him at the piano playing the Rhinedaughters’ lament: “Extraordinary that I saw this so clearly at that time!”
Spirituality. The diaries are themselves partly a religious document. Cosima wrote under a sense of “unatonable guilt” toward Bülow and turned it into a discipline of renunciation. After her conversion she took Communion regularly, writing in 1873 that “the only true communion with people is before the altar,” and she read Meister Eckhart, Tauler, the Theologia Germanica and the Imitation of Christ (“Non sum! How dearly I should like to make that my motto!”). Her devotion to Wagner took the same form, and she wrote that in him she found “not my happiness, but my salvation.”
Wagner’s own faith was heterodox and he said so. Its foundation was Schopenhauer: “it was Schopenhauer who revealed Christianity to me,” he told Cosima in 1879. Through Schopenhauer came Buddhism and the Vedanta, which run through the diaries from first to last: the Buddhist drama Die Sieger, often planned and never written; the Brahmin saying “tat tvam asi,” which he spoke to Cosima at Christmas 1874; readings of the Bhagavad-Gita, the Upanishads and, in Venice, a new life of the Buddha. He set the two traditions side by side rather than choosing between them. Brahmanism was “the religion of intelligence,” but Christianity stood above it as “the religion of suffering.” Buddhism was “a flowering of the human spirit” with no church and no compulsion, and by studying the Buddha, he said in 1882, “one learns to understand Christianity.” Cosima put the difference in a sentence of her own: “Buddha does not move one, he teaches; Christ teaches by moving.”
At the centre stood Christ, kept apart from the church. “I do not believe in God, but in godliness, which is revealed in a Jesus without sin,” Wagner said in 1879, and he repeatedly complained that people “think only of the church and confuse this with Christianity.” In his last years he said that he recognized “no religion except compassion,” extended to animals as well as people, and this lay behind his vegetarian leanings and his fury at vivisection. Art was to carry what the churches had lost. “Art makes religions eternal,” he said in 1872; music was “the only possible church nowadays”; and in 1879 he gave the core of Religion and Art in a sentence, that religion should “influence ethics, and allow faith to be represented by art, which can transform illusion into truth.” “The path from religion to art bad, from art to religion good,” he noted in 1880.
Parsifal was where these ideas met, and the diaries show how carefully he guarded its tone. He called it “his most propitiatory work” and spoke of it as the dream vision of a rite, not the rite itself. He kept Christ off the stage on principle: “One cannot paint Christ, but one can portray him in music,” and to have Christ sung by a tenor was “a disgusting idea.” What he hoped for from his audience was less instruction than inward change, a recognition of suffering that leads to compassion and resignation. In December 1882 he said he would never again try to explain his ideas on the blood of Christ: “these are things one all of a sudden grasps.” Six weeks later, talking of Nature’s cruelty, he said it went on “until the appearance of the Saviour on the cross,” and added, “in the urge to put an end to the whole of Nature’s will to live.”
Nietzsche. The diaries hold the whole arc of the friendship. Nietzsche arrives in 1869 as a brilliant young professor who “knows R.’s works thoroughly,” spends holidays at Tribschen, writes The Birth of Tragedy under Wagner’s spell and stands beside him at the foundation stone. Cosima noticed early “a dubious streak” in him. The last meetings were at Sorrento in 1876. When Human, All Too Human arrived in April 1878, Wagner resolved not to read it, and by 1879 Cosima wrote that Nietzsche had “committed the one sin which cannot be atoned for, the sin against the Holy Ghost.” In later years Wagner spoke of him with contempt and some sorrow, as a promising mind that the modern world had ruined, while Cosima admitted that she could still remember only his friendly side.
Antisemitism. Hostile remarks about Jews by both Wagner and Cosima recur from the first year to the last, aimed at the press, critics, money, Meyerbeer and the modern theatre. In 1873 Wagner opposed intermarriage in racial terms, and the remarks grow harsher from 1879, when the antisemitic movement gathered in Berlin. That October, reading a speech by Adolf Stoecker, he was “in favor of expelling them entirely.” In December 1881, after the Ringtheater fire in Vienna, Cosima records him making “a drastic joke to the effect that all Jews should be burned at a performance of Nathan der Weise.” From 1881 Gobineau’s racial theories enter the conversation, though Wagner usually set Christianity against them; in June 1881 he was “downright explosive in favor of Christian theories in contrast to racial ones,” and that December he said that races were “done for, and all that can now make an impact is, as I have ventured to express it, the blood of Christ.” He also refused to sign the 1880 petition to Bismarck against the Jews, declined to let the Bayreuther Blätter join the agitation, and complained that nobody had noticed what Know Thyself said about “our own blame for our situation.”
The same diaries show Wagner depending on Jewish colleagues, above all Joseph Rubinstein, Angelo Neumann and Hermann Levi, and they show how that dependence was poisoned. In 1880 Wagner said he could not let Levi conduct Parsifal “unbaptized,” and in 1881 he told him he hoped to find “a formula which will make you feel completely one of us.” When an anonymous letter that summer made Levi ask to be released, Wagner wrote persuading him to return, and Levi conducted every performance in 1882 and was with the family in Venice in February 1883. One of the last entries records Wagner saying that “the Jews, the good ones,” were “condemned to a gently resigned asceticism.”
Because the diaries run to thousands of entries, the table below is a finding aid rather than a summary. Choose a year and month to browse, or search the entries, then open a day to read it in full.
| Date | Word Count | Subject |
|---|---|---|
| December 3, 1874 | 654 | For days after the emotional collapse, she remains unsettled, while R. tries to comfort her and explain their suffering as the consequence of loving too intensely. The entry moves through Christmas errands, family episodes, parties, travel, and music, but the underlying atmosphere is still strained by the aftermath of the work's completion and the demands of public life. |
| December 4, 1874 | 120 | Good news from Berlin brings financial satisfaction, and visitors from the aristocratic world keep the day socially polished and pleasant. Yet the notes beneath the surface remain cautious and businesslike, with R. refusing permission for a Tristan performance and the practical realities of sales and support continuing to weigh on them. |
| December 5, 1874 | 45 | The household feels divided between ordinary family rhythms and the strain of R.'s troublesome dealings with Voltz and Batz. While the children enjoy skating and the evening brings a thoughtful reading session, there is an undercurrent of irritation about trust, business, and the moral lessons drawn from the book. |
| December 6, 1874 | 30 | The day is gentler and more social, with visits, playtime with the children, and R. still occupied by correspondence. Music closes the evening on a warm note, especially the quartet performance with Josef Rubinstein. |
| December 7, 1874 | 158 | Lessons are repeatedly interrupted by callers and small social obligations, but the day's stronger emotion comes from R.'s anger at Bismarck's conduct in parliament. The evening turns reflective as they read about secret societies and argue that Christian interpretations, not the ancient rites themselves, give such practices their indecent reputation. |
| December 8, 1874 | 100 | Work with the child is paired with R.'s ambitious plans for an educational reform that he wants to bring before the minister and support with a prize. Later, Schopenhauer provides intellectual delight, though the evening is shadowed by troubling news from Leipzig about Doris burdening the family there. |
| December 9, 1874 | 176 | The day mixes domestic work, a drawing made for the King, and a tense dispute over Vienna concert arrangements. R. eventually resolves the matter with Feustel and Skutsch, while the growing sense that Voltz and Batz have abused his trust leaves the household grateful for Feustel's steadiness. |
| December 10, 1874 | 77 | A visit from the elderly Baroness Aufsess prompts R. to admire the moral radiance of a face that is not conventionally beautiful. The rest of the day is quieter, filled with errands and continued reading in Schopenhauer. |
| December 11, 1874 | 122 | The morning brings a touch of childlike wonder when Fidi thinks he has seen the Christkind, but the mood soon darkens with concern for the older daughters, especially Lusch. R. is again pained by Bismarck's lack of dignity, and the evening reading in Schopenhauer deepens their admiration for his fairness toward both weakness and merit. |
| December 12, 1874 | 68 | R. wrestles with the unending labor of shaping his manuscript, annoyed that even after finishing the score he must still add more introductions and endings. Amid Christmas errands, there is relief when Lusch apologizes sincerely, easing the day's strain and softening the household mood. |
| December 13, 1874 | 86 | The anniversary of Daniel's death hangs over the day, though visits, a family dinner, and architectural inquiries keep life moving. Good news from Marie Schl. about the Berlin sale is met with gratitude, and the evening ends agreeably with Rubinstein's playing for a small gathering. |
| December 14, 1874 | 349 | Conversation returns to the previous day's music and turns into a deep reflection on expression, form, and the inexpressible core of great art and philosophy. R. is especially affectionate, saying his tragic theme is meant only for her, while the evening closes with further reading in Schopenhauer and a discouraging letter about Dr. Glatz. |
| December 15, 1874 | 134 | R. is buoyed by a vivid dream of another little son and by the children’s energetic jumping game, which has become part of the household’s private mythology. He spends the day refining the endings of his pieces and handling practical matters by letter, while the evening closes with Schopenhauer and the usual sense of work and thought pressing in together. |
| December 16, 1874 | 22 | The day is subdued by Bonichen’s illness, though R. stays occupied with his endings and correspondence. The evening remains quiet and cultured, ending with a visit and Beethoven, as if music were the day’s only firm counterweight to the worry. |
| December 17, 1874 | 51 | Life holds to its familiar pattern of childcare for me and letter-writing for R., with no great event to break the rhythm. Yet the day still carries intellectual movement: a defending letter from Vienna, R.’s pleasure in a book on Christian mythology, and Schopenhauer keeping us company at night. |
| December 18, 1874 | 239 | Christmas brings both encouragement and strain, with welcome money and signs that the larger project may still advance, but also the nagging fact that it will demand far more resources. Between the Arnim trial, an amusing Lohengrin report, and the children’s cruel little joke about death, the day turns from public affairs to private hurt with unsettling speed. |
| December 19, 1874 | 131 | The morning is shadowed by dreams of mourning and loss, and R.’s departure to Leipzig leaves me with a hollow, anxious feeling that work can only partly dispel. His own view of the world there is bleak and ghostlike, and before he goes we speak again of the dangers of too-early marriage and the misery it breeds. |
| December 20, 1874 | 75 | Sadness lingers from sleep into waking, and even church offers little relief, though the children and the little night companion soften the loneliness. R.’s telegrams finally brighten the day, especially after I send him my photograph and a poem through his servant and learn how pleased he was. |
| December 21, 1874 | 115 | R. comes home worn out and disappointed, having failed to find the singer he hoped for and instead found only faded faces and hollow surroundings. His reaction to Jessonda turns from initial sympathy to irritation, and our own conversation circles back to the serious obstacle posed by the patrons’ payments to the royal treasury. |
| December 22, 1874 | 224 | R. explains the arrangement of the Nibelung pieces with a kind of affectionate secrecy, as if he were composing for my ear alone, and we return again to Schopenhauer and the origin of the work. The day also brings practical relief in the form of Christmas gifts and the unmasking of a shady business connection, though the evening leaves him exhausted. |
| December 23, 1874 | 97 | The day is consumed by Christmas preparations, with me hurrying people along and laboring over the tree until late at night. Amid the glitter and bustle, the musicians arrive, R. reads about primitive Christians, and the whole scene seems held together by exhaustion, wit, and a stubborn festive determination. |
| December 24, 1874 | 112 | Christmas Eve is a long, strenuous undertaking, but it ends in a warm and crowded household where everyone seems satisfied. The strongest memory of the evening is private rather than ceremonial: R.’s tears over what he can no longer send away, and his gratitude for all I have endured beside him. |
| December 25, 1874 | 391 | Christmas Day unfolds as a deeply intimate triumph, with music, secrecy, and emotion all converging around the speaker’s birthday. The family and orchestra turn the house into a place of gratitude and reverence, though the day is also shadowed by a tragic accident and a reminder of mortality that only intensifies the value of shared love. |
| December 26, 1874 | 69 | The day is quieter after the holiday, marked by sleep, household routines, and a slight ache for the absence of music. In the evening, a reading on early Christianity gives both of them a sense of distance from the modern world and a renewed appreciation for older, more serious minds. |
| December 27, 1874 | 154 | A gift from Gersdorff and a walk with Fidi bring warmth to the day, while the speaker also attends to scholarly correspondence and municipal concerns tied to the earlier tragedy. The evening turns back to music, which restores the household mood, even as a hard-edged statement about Christianity reveals the couple’s skeptical intellectual stance. |
| December 28, 1874 | 196 | Practical and legal anxieties intrude through a visit about the mason’s death and the restrictive theater contract, while the winter landscape and the children’s play on the ice give the day a calmer surface. That calm is broken by a late return from a concert, leaving the couple frustrated with their own indulgence and resolved to be sterner in the future. |
| December 29, 1874 | 58 | After the previous night’s worry, the speaker responds by arranging safer childcare and trying to restore order. The children return cheerful and full of anecdotes, and the evening settles into a more relaxed domestic rhythm with no formal reading, only family play and a glance at business matters. |
| December 30, 1874 | 97 | The household feels lively and divided between work, skating, toys, and the children’s growing individualities, while the speaker remains at her desk. Music again becomes central in the evening, alongside correspondence and playful conversation about marriage, ending the day in the pleasure of shared performance. |
| December 31, 1874 | 207 | New Year’s Eve is treated as a ceremonial culmination, with music, church, candles, birds, and family rituals all woven together. The speaker is reminded repeatedly that the home itself is the source of meaning, and the night closes in a blend of solemnity, social exchange, and quiet affection as the year turns. |
| No diary entries found. | ||