Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of January 4, 1874

Overview

A restless household is interrupted by visitors and farewells, and the writer bears the strain of hosting alone while R. is unwell. Malwida’s uncertain health and possible departure deepen the melancholy, but the largest disappointment is professional: still no favorable decision, and the performances may have to be canceled.

Content

Sunday, January 4:

R. had a restless night and is indisposed. On top of this Prof. Overbeck pays us a visit, and I have to receive and look after him alone until R. joins us in the evening. The learned man makes a good impression on us, but he does not have particularly good news to tell of our friend Nietzsche’s health.

In the morning I said goodbye to Malwida, who, constantly indisposed, wants to consult a doctor in Munich, to find out whether she should move to the south. Shall we see her again? The parting fills me with great melancholy. I give her a few lines for Councilor D.

With indescribable feelings I see the days of this first week pass by without a favorable decision, which means that the orders cannot be placed and, in consequence, the year ’75 cannot be kept to. R. wants to announce the cancellation of the performances.