Cosima's Diaries
Recordings by Cosima Wagner between 1869 and 1883
Cosima Wagner kept her diaries from 1 January 1869 at Tribschen until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, so that Siegfried would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: Wagner’s talk, his dreams, the evening readings, the music, the visitors, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear him thinking aloud for so long. The diaries follow the Tribschen idyll, the building of the Bayreuth festival theatre and the composition of Parsifal.
The entries are arranged by year and month and each can be opened on its own page. The sections below trace the main lines of the diaries.
Cosima Wagner began her diaries at Tribschen on 1 January 1869 and kept them until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, and above all for Siegfried, so that he would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: what Wagner said at breakfast, his dreams, the evening readings of Shakespeare, Calderón and Goethe, the music played at the piano, the visitors, illnesses, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear Wagner thinking aloud for so long, or shows so clearly how his ideas moved in his last fourteen years. At Tribschen the household lives in a private idyll, sealed by the birth of a son and by marriage, with the Ring resumed and Nietzsche a frequent guest. From 1872 everything turns to Bayreuth and the building of a festival theatre, achieved through years of fundraising and near collapse. After the 1876 Ring the diaries draw inward to Parsifal, written at Wahnfried and finished on long Italian journeys, while Wagner’s talk reaches toward a religion of compassion drawn from Schopenhauer, Buddhism and the Gospels. The same pages record, often and plainly, the antisemitism of both Wagner and Cosima.
Tribschen. The first pages are a confession. Cosima, who had left Hans von Bülow for Wagner, calls her love “a rebirth, a deliverance,” and writes under a constant sense of guilt toward her husband that she never lost. The years at Tribschen bring the birth of Siegfried in June 1869, her divorce and her marriage to Wagner in the Protestant church at Lucerne on 25 August 1870, the Franco-Prussian War, the essay Beethoven and the completion of Siegfried. On her birthday that Christmas she woke to the Siegfried Idyll played on the staircase. Nietzsche first called on 17 May 1869 and became almost one of the family; his manuscript on the birth of tragedy arrived as a Christmas gift in 1870. Wagner’s remarks already circle the themes of his last years. Music, he said in November 1869, “is the direct product of Christianity, as is the saint,” and the next spring he described the Knight of the Grail as free because “he acts, not in his own behalf, but for others.” If anyone asked whether there was a God, he said in 1870, he would answer that at a moment when thousands are singing to him, “God is alive, he is there.”
Founding Bayreuth. In April 1871 the Wagners first saw Bayreuth; its baroque opera house “will not do for us at all; so we must build.” The foundation stone was laid in the rain on 22 May 1872, Wagner’s birthday, followed by the Ninth Symphony in the old opera house. The next four years are full of patrons, Wagner societies, singers, architects, concert tours and money. A royal loan in 1874 rescued the enterprise, and the family moved into Wahnfried that April. On 21 November 1874 Wagner finished the score of Götterdämmerung, a day Cosima remembered with tears, because he was hurt to find her reading a letter from her father at that moment. In between, Cosima converted to Protestantism on 31 October 1872 and took Communion with Wagner: “I felt as if our bond had only now been truly sealed.”
The first festival. The Ring was given complete for the first time in August 1876, before the German Emperor and much of musical Europe. The diaries record the mishaps as well as the triumph, and the exhaustion afterwards: looking back that November, Wagner said his main feeling during the performances had been “Never again, never again!” The festival left a large deficit, and the autumn in Italy brought two meetings that would shape the coming years: the last time the Wagners spent with Nietzsche, at Sorrento, and the first meeting with Count Arthur de Gobineau in Rome on 30 November.
The Parsifal years. Wagner began Parsifal in earnest in 1877 and finished the prose draft on 28 February (“The Redeemer unchained!” Cosima wrote) and the poem on 19 April. Composing the Communion scene that August, he told her that “this scene of Holy Communion will be the main scene, the core of the whole work.” The music grew slowly through 1878 and 1879 beside the founding of the Bayreuther Blätter, the regenerative essays and campaigns against vivisection, and the widening break with Nietzsche. In 1880 the family moved to Naples, where Paul von Joukowsky joined them as stage designer and the garden at Ravello suggested Klingsor’s magic garden; in Siena that August the cathedral moved Wagner to tears and became a model for the Temple of the Grail. That November he conducted the Prelude privately for King Ludwig in Munich. Gobineau stayed at Wahnfried in 1881, and Wagner read his books on race and on the Persians with growing enthusiasm. The score was finished in Palermo on 13 January 1882. “With this, as with all his other works,” Cosima wrote, “he had feared being interrupted by death.”
The premiere and Venice. Sixteen performances of Parsifal followed in July and August 1882, conducted by Hermann Levi. Wagner asked that the audience not call the singers out after the second act, rebuked a chorister for joking about the bread, and at the last performance took the baton himself for the end of the third act. The family then settled in the Palazzo Vendramin in Venice. The last months bring the news of Gobineau’s death, Liszt’s long visit, Hans von Bülow’s breakdown, and on Christmas Eve a performance at La Fenice of the symphony Wagner had written at nineteen, played as a birthday present to Cosima. He was weakened by repeated heart spasms, and he was still talking about writing symphonies and an essay on the feminine. The last entry, on 12 February 1883, ends with him at the piano playing the Rhinedaughters’ lament: “Extraordinary that I saw this so clearly at that time!”
Spirituality. The diaries are themselves partly a religious document. Cosima wrote under a sense of “unatonable guilt” toward Bülow and turned it into a discipline of renunciation. After her conversion she took Communion regularly, writing in 1873 that “the only true communion with people is before the altar,” and she read Meister Eckhart, Tauler, the Theologia Germanica and the Imitation of Christ (“Non sum! How dearly I should like to make that my motto!”). Her devotion to Wagner took the same form, and she wrote that in him she found “not my happiness, but my salvation.”
Wagner’s own faith was heterodox and he said so. Its foundation was Schopenhauer: “it was Schopenhauer who revealed Christianity to me,” he told Cosima in 1879. Through Schopenhauer came Buddhism and the Vedanta, which run through the diaries from first to last: the Buddhist drama Die Sieger, often planned and never written; the Brahmin saying “tat tvam asi,” which he spoke to Cosima at Christmas 1874; readings of the Bhagavad-Gita, the Upanishads and, in Venice, a new life of the Buddha. He set the two traditions side by side rather than choosing between them. Brahmanism was “the religion of intelligence,” but Christianity stood above it as “the religion of suffering.” Buddhism was “a flowering of the human spirit” with no church and no compulsion, and by studying the Buddha, he said in 1882, “one learns to understand Christianity.” Cosima put the difference in a sentence of her own: “Buddha does not move one, he teaches; Christ teaches by moving.”
At the centre stood Christ, kept apart from the church. “I do not believe in God, but in godliness, which is revealed in a Jesus without sin,” Wagner said in 1879, and he repeatedly complained that people “think only of the church and confuse this with Christianity.” In his last years he said that he recognized “no religion except compassion,” extended to animals as well as people, and this lay behind his vegetarian leanings and his fury at vivisection. Art was to carry what the churches had lost. “Art makes religions eternal,” he said in 1872; music was “the only possible church nowadays”; and in 1879 he gave the core of Religion and Art in a sentence, that religion should “influence ethics, and allow faith to be represented by art, which can transform illusion into truth.” “The path from religion to art bad, from art to religion good,” he noted in 1880.
Parsifal was where these ideas met, and the diaries show how carefully he guarded its tone. He called it “his most propitiatory work” and spoke of it as the dream vision of a rite, not the rite itself. He kept Christ off the stage on principle: “One cannot paint Christ, but one can portray him in music,” and to have Christ sung by a tenor was “a disgusting idea.” What he hoped for from his audience was less instruction than inward change, a recognition of suffering that leads to compassion and resignation. In December 1882 he said he would never again try to explain his ideas on the blood of Christ: “these are things one all of a sudden grasps.” Six weeks later, talking of Nature’s cruelty, he said it went on “until the appearance of the Saviour on the cross,” and added, “in the urge to put an end to the whole of Nature’s will to live.”
Nietzsche. The diaries hold the whole arc of the friendship. Nietzsche arrives in 1869 as a brilliant young professor who “knows R.’s works thoroughly,” spends holidays at Tribschen, writes The Birth of Tragedy under Wagner’s spell and stands beside him at the foundation stone. Cosima noticed early “a dubious streak” in him. The last meetings were at Sorrento in 1876. When Human, All Too Human arrived in April 1878, Wagner resolved not to read it, and by 1879 Cosima wrote that Nietzsche had “committed the one sin which cannot be atoned for, the sin against the Holy Ghost.” In later years Wagner spoke of him with contempt and some sorrow, as a promising mind that the modern world had ruined, while Cosima admitted that she could still remember only his friendly side.
Antisemitism. Hostile remarks about Jews by both Wagner and Cosima recur from the first year to the last, aimed at the press, critics, money, Meyerbeer and the modern theatre. In 1873 Wagner opposed intermarriage in racial terms, and the remarks grow harsher from 1879, when the antisemitic movement gathered in Berlin. That October, reading a speech by Adolf Stoecker, he was “in favor of expelling them entirely.” In December 1881, after the Ringtheater fire in Vienna, Cosima records him making “a drastic joke to the effect that all Jews should be burned at a performance of Nathan der Weise.” From 1881 Gobineau’s racial theories enter the conversation, though Wagner usually set Christianity against them; in June 1881 he was “downright explosive in favor of Christian theories in contrast to racial ones,” and that December he said that races were “done for, and all that can now make an impact is, as I have ventured to express it, the blood of Christ.” He also refused to sign the 1880 petition to Bismarck against the Jews, declined to let the Bayreuther Blätter join the agitation, and complained that nobody had noticed what Know Thyself said about “our own blame for our situation.”
The same diaries show Wagner depending on Jewish colleagues, above all Joseph Rubinstein, Angelo Neumann and Hermann Levi, and they show how that dependence was poisoned. In 1880 Wagner said he could not let Levi conduct Parsifal “unbaptized,” and in 1881 he told him he hoped to find “a formula which will make you feel completely one of us.” When an anonymous letter that summer made Levi ask to be released, Wagner wrote persuading him to return, and Levi conducted every performance in 1882 and was with the family in Venice in February 1883. One of the last entries records Wagner saying that “the Jews, the good ones,” were “condemned to a gently resigned asceticism.”
Because the diaries run to thousands of entries, the table below is a finding aid rather than a summary. Choose a year and month to browse, or search the entries, then open a day to read it in full.
| Date | Word Count | Subject |
|---|---|---|
| January 1, 1869 | 1,107 | Cosima begins the notebook as an intimate testament for her children, explaining her separation from them as the consequence of a love she views as a spiritual rebirth and sacred duty. She recounts New Year's Day with Richard, the younger children, music, gifts, dictation, and thoughts of the absent children mingled with tears. The entry consecrates Wagner's golden pen to her maternal confession and frames the diary as both justification and blessing. |
| January 2, 1869 | 257 | A brilliant morning is shadowed by Eva's illness, though the child soon improves and Richard remains cheerful despite slight indisposition. Cosima takes comfort in Richard's work on his essay, their conversation, and his guidance that philosophy should reach her through poetry and a beloved man. The evening turns serene with the children restored and Homer read aloud, leaving her with a feeling of intimate happiness. |
| January 3, 1869 | 401 | With Eva recovered and the Sunday landscape calm, Cosima feels a harmony between nature, household life, and Richard's completed essay. Their conversations range from Homer to German military songs and Protestant history, deepening her sense of Richard as the embodiment of true German spirit. Yet the absence of letters from Munich and a small hurt over not being asked for a service leave faint shadows amid affection for all her children. |
| January 4, 1869 | 356 | Cosima's habitual Monday gloom is intensified by renewed concern for Eva and frustration over careless household management. Richard's reading of his essay temporarily dispels her anxiety, while letters from Munich bring both comfort and longing for the absent children. The day closes with Tristan, Homer, and the realization that art comes alive for her above all through Richard's presence and voice. |
| January 5, 1869 | 464 | Cosima begins the day in melancholy, but a sunlit walk and the sight of mountains over the lake restore her sense of inner strength. Household negligence around the children's diet renews her distress, while news of difficulty publishing Richard's Rossini essay reveals their distance from the world's literary and political bustle. The evening's Odyssey reading becomes a meditation on durable happiness hidden beneath suffering. |
| January 6, 1869 | 251 | Eva remains somewhat unwell, so Cosima spends much of the day with the children while Richard copies his essay. A visit connected with Munich stirs fears that her whereabouts may be discovered, forcing her to imagine openly defending her choices to her children. The children's liveliness and the evening's Homer reading steady her, though thoughts of Munich leave her suspended between longing and impossibility. |
| January 7, 1869 | 427 | The day opens with Eva's recovery and Richard's tender dream, but anonymous newspaper attacks on Wagner's work plunge Cosima into revulsion and grief. Richard first treats the article as useful material, yet the pair are drawn into a broader sadness over public misunderstanding and hostile criticism. The children remain well, and the Odyssey's episode of Argos offers Cosima a moving image of faithful recognition amid disguise and decay. |
| January 8, 1869 | 431 | On Hans's birthday, Cosima addresses her older children with a grave account of her marriage, insisting that sympathy and respect were never enough to overcome a fateful mismatch. She portrays her life with Richard as an unavoidable calling that cost her separation from the children and left her dependent on divine help. Domestic correspondence, music, fatigue, and Homer fill the day, which is marked privately by the first felt movement of her unborn child. |
| January 9, 1869 | 279 | After a night of headaches, nightmares, and fears for her family, Cosima longs for the secure trust she imagines only sisterly love can provide. With the maid away, she stays in the children's room and finds them well enough to let her read and write nearby. Richard discusses the uncertain consequences of publishing his Jewish essay, while Cosima, physically unwell and emotionally exhausted, ends the Odyssey after a restorative walk. |
| January 10, 1869 | 289 | Cosima is troubled by the failure of a pen she had sent Richard and takes it as a sign that even small fortunes have turned against her. Worries about the children's future, hostile criticism, the King's silence, and Richard's despair over the Nibelungen weigh heavily on the household. Dictation resumes in the evening, but the day ends with fantasies of a reduced future in Paris and uncertainty about what fate will allow. |
| January 11, 1869 | 291 | Eva's renewed illness, household interference, and sleeplessness leave Cosima irritable and fearful as Richard sends off his essay on the Jews. News of Meistersinger productions and Richard's work briefly steady the day, but his comments on poverty, marriage, and their vulnerable happiness deepen her anxiety. She misses the older children intensely and feels that only Richard's presence can quiet her dread of abandonment and public scorn. |
| January 12, 1869 | 666 | A sleepless night under the stars gives way to a day spent with the children, whose memories of Loulou stir both joy and sorrow. Richard's thoughts turn again toward the Nibelungen, Beethoven, Homer, and political pessimism, while Cosima meditates in the frozen garden on whether her children may one day misunderstand her. Evening dictation restores closeness after a small strain between them and ends with reflections on exile, independence, and the world's compromised nature. |
| January 13, 1869 | 398 | Cosima wakes from a dream of her dead sister into a day colored by Richard's alternating music, gloom, and industrious work. Their conversations move from Lola Montez and moral pity to Lessing, folk tales, Paris theater troubles, and Wagner's fear that his works may vanish after his death. Dictation and humorous memories of London bring the evening into a lighter mood, though the silence from Munich continues to hurt her. |
| January 14, 1869 | 377 | Cosima records a day overshadowed by fragility, as small domestic losses, worries over the children’s health, and silence from Munich all deepen her unease. A solitary walk steadies her, leading her toward a hard-won inward acceptance of suffering and the sense that endurance itself is a form of grace. At table, she and Richard revisit bitter personal and intellectual betrayals, while new artistic concerns arise over the coming Dresden performance of Die Meistersinger. Yet even amid foreboding and sadness, shared work on the biography briefly lifts their spirits, and the entry closes with her thoughts turning tenderly back to her distant children. |
| January 15, 1869 | 444 | Cosima’s entry moves between maternal longing and her deepening sense that her life has become bound to Richard’s solitude, leaving her torn between devotion to him and fear of estrangement from her older children. The day is marked by quiet apprehension, with Richard’s gloom, talk of possible war, and the surrounding political silence making even domestic peace at Tribschen feel fragile and temporary. A walk through the frost-lit landscape opens into metaphysical reflection, as nature’s beauty turns her thoughts toward transience, eternity, and the possibility that earthly sorrow may still conceal a higher meaning. The day closes in a gentler register: pain at the continued absence of letters gives way to shared work, family calm, and renewed happiness in Richard’s spoken assurance of love. |
| January 16, 1869 | 455 | Two months after parting from her older children, Cosima is weighed down by silence from Munich and prays only to help Richard, raise the children, and endure disgrace if necessary. Richard receives reassuring Dresden news, refuses the invitation there, and speaks with amusement and gratitude about Schopenhauer, household order, and the arrival of treasured objects. The day mixes good humor, Schiller's poetry, children's dancing, publication annoyances, and renewed sadness at the lack of letters. |
| January 17, 1869 | 414 | Cosima tries to act cheerfully for the children and Richard, but her writing is dominated by worry, loneliness, and the absence of news from the older children. A remark from Richard about the biography wounds her deeply, even as he remains anxious over her condition. Their intellectual companionship continues through discussion of drama, Schiller, and stage structure, while she ends the day praying for protection over her children and strength for her duty to Richard. |
| January 18, 1869 | 928 | After finding refuge in sleep from overwhelming worry, Cosima finishes Wallenstein and reflects at length on Schiller's humane power and the meaning of suffering in tragedy. Richard's renewed doubts about completing the Nibelungen distress her because she sees his work as inseparable from the moral legitimacy of their bond. A long walk through gray Tribschen turns into inner reassurance just before Richard returns with the longed-for letter from the children, transforming the evening into gratitude, dictation, and maternal blessing despite Loldi's troubling behavior. |
| January 19, 1869 | 467 | A midnight impulse to leave Richard for the children's sake collapses when Cosima imagines the damage such a sacrifice would do to him. The day is marked by illness, an effortful letter to Lenbach, Richard's proposed appeal to Countess Bismarck, and discussions of Loewe, German music, Jews, and death. Her thoughts circle the terrible dependence between her fate and Richard's, ending in headache as he reads Henry VI aloud. |
| January 20, 1869 | 797 | Cosima and Richard laugh over a misunderstanding about her supposedly calling him 'my dear Wagner,' but the day soon returns to weakness, tears, and letters to Loulou and Hermine. News from Vienna about delaying and restricting Die Meistersinger convinces them that bureaucratic and theatrical forces are trying to suppress Richard's work. Children, Schiller, Shakespeare, and strategic discussion of how to expose the situation provide some relief, though Richard closes with Schopenhauerian bitterness about belief and silence. |
| January 21, 1869 | 317 | On the day of the Dresden Meistersinger performance, Richard wakes Cosima with themes from the work while both continue to brood over their precarious future. Lessing's biography and a Faust puppet play bring unexpected gaiety and admiration for the German folk spirit, though Cosima mourns that such vitality may already be extinct. News that the essay on the Jews will be printed, concern for the ill dog Kos, healthy children, and shared moonlight complete a day of mixed laughter and foreboding. |
| January 22, 1869 | 195 | Cosima's sleepless anxiety reaches a near-breaking point as she wonders how she can regain the children without leaving Richard. A telegram announcing the great Dresden success of Die Meistersinger brings sunlight and joy, suggesting wider recognition may follow. Letters about Paris rehearsals and Italian scores renew artistic vexations, and Richard ends the day dissatisfied with his artistic life while Shakespeare leaves a frightening impression. |
| January 23, 1869 | 347 | After a night of anxiety and physical weakness, Cosima remains in bed while Richard receives encouraging news about publishing Judaism in Music. Reports of Lohengrin controversy, Hans's hurt over a biographical notice, and the need for a correction draw the day into disputes over reputation and loyalty. Games with the children, help from Mme Laussot, Shakespeare, and Richard's resolve to complete Siegfried lift her spirits. |
| January 24, 1869 | 551 | A better night lets Cosima plan for a possible reunion with her children, bringing rare comfort. Reports of the extraordinary Dresden Meistersinger success delight Richard, though a small domestic remark causes tension and correspondence over manuscripts revives old grievances. Tristan at the piano overwhelms Cosima with the terrifying intimacy of genius, and Henry VI leaves her meditating on the disrespect later ages show to great works. |
| January 25, 1869 | 197 | Cosima rests on her plans for the children while letters from Richard's family confirm the Dresden triumph of Die Meistersinger. Cold weather affects the children, Richard worries over her sadness, and talk of Fröbel and Lessing feeds her sense that Germany consumes its great men. Dictation resumes with pleasure, but a story of cruelty to a dog drives Richard into moral horror at the ugliness of the world. |
| January 26, 1869 | 400 | Brilliant sunshine and Richard's renewed work on Siegfried begin the day happily, until a disturbing letter from Hans throws him into fury and exhaustion. Cosima reads the letter as an indirect signal about what Hans has told his family, and Richard later regrets not choosing a different course in Genoa. Under a luminous night sky, the movement of her unborn child prompts a blessing that joins maternal hope with the grandeur of mountains, stars, and water. |
| January 27, 1869 | 235 | Clear weather, good health, and more news of repeated Meistersinger performances in Dresden give the day outward brightness. Richard remains shaken by Hans's letter and fears he has tormented Cosima, leaving her to sustain cheerfulness without denying his distress. A long walk among ominous birds, moonlight, Devrient's book on Mendelssohn, and evening dictation shape a day of foreboding and recovery. |
| January 28, 1869 | 443 | Cosima reads Devrient with impatience but finds it confirms Richard's view of Mendelssohn, while the children remain lively and well. Feeling weak, she takes a dusk walk that turns the landscape into a vision of the Greek underworld before a star and then Richard's sudden appearance transform it into a sign of mercy. The entry closes with dictation, affection, and a philosophical reflection on nature's power to humble the self. |
| January 29, 1869 | 351 | Letters from Mathilde and a well household do not quiet Cosima's longing for the absent children. Richard and Cosima reflect on shared tears over noble history and poetry, then on Devrient's conduct, press trivialities, and the willful suppression or distortion of Meistersinger's success. Richard is deeply absorbed in Siegfried, while the evening is spent gathering examples of Devrient's prose under the sound of a strong gale. |
| January 30, 1869 | 256 | A mild, sunny day brings a peaceful morning, garden time with the children, and happiness at Richard's wellbeing. Richard confesses that their only danger is loving each other too much, since even work on the score makes him want to return to her. During dictation Cosima is overcome by an inexpressible sorrow, then laughs and weeps at Richard's comic family memory before falling asleep in moonlight. |
| January 31, 1869 | 197 | Richard's illness and a useless letter from Mme Laussot cast the entire day into gloom, making Cosima feel spiritually emptied by his weakness. He tells her that his life has depended on her from the first and would not have been redeemed even by artistic or royal success. Reading Goethe to him offers some comfort, but her own illness alarms him until the thought of Siegfried restores her inwardly. |
| No diary entries found. | ||