Cosima's Diaries
Recordings by Cosima Wagner between 1869 and 1883
Cosima Wagner kept her diaries from 1 January 1869 at Tribschen until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, so that Siegfried would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: Wagner’s talk, his dreams, the evening readings, the music, the visitors, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear him thinking aloud for so long. The diaries follow the Tribschen idyll, the building of the Bayreuth festival theatre and the composition of Parsifal.
The entries are arranged by year and month and each can be opened on its own page. The sections below trace the main lines of the diaries.
Cosima Wagner began her diaries at Tribschen on 1 January 1869 and kept them until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, and above all for Siegfried, so that he would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: what Wagner said at breakfast, his dreams, the evening readings of Shakespeare, Calderón and Goethe, the music played at the piano, the visitors, illnesses, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear Wagner thinking aloud for so long, or shows so clearly how his ideas moved in his last fourteen years. At Tribschen the household lives in a private idyll, sealed by the birth of a son and by marriage, with the Ring resumed and Nietzsche a frequent guest. From 1872 everything turns to Bayreuth and the building of a festival theatre, achieved through years of fundraising and near collapse. After the 1876 Ring the diaries draw inward to Parsifal, written at Wahnfried and finished on long Italian journeys, while Wagner’s talk reaches toward a religion of compassion drawn from Schopenhauer, Buddhism and the Gospels. The same pages record, often and plainly, the antisemitism of both Wagner and Cosima.
Tribschen. The first pages are a confession. Cosima, who had left Hans von Bülow for Wagner, calls her love “a rebirth, a deliverance,” and writes under a constant sense of guilt toward her husband that she never lost. The years at Tribschen bring the birth of Siegfried in June 1869, her divorce and her marriage to Wagner in the Protestant church at Lucerne on 25 August 1870, the Franco-Prussian War, the essay Beethoven and the completion of Siegfried. On her birthday that Christmas she woke to the Siegfried Idyll played on the staircase. Nietzsche first called on 17 May 1869 and became almost one of the family; his manuscript on the birth of tragedy arrived as a Christmas gift in 1870. Wagner’s remarks already circle the themes of his last years. Music, he said in November 1869, “is the direct product of Christianity, as is the saint,” and the next spring he described the Knight of the Grail as free because “he acts, not in his own behalf, but for others.” If anyone asked whether there was a God, he said in 1870, he would answer that at a moment when thousands are singing to him, “God is alive, he is there.”
Founding Bayreuth. In April 1871 the Wagners first saw Bayreuth; its baroque opera house “will not do for us at all; so we must build.” The foundation stone was laid in the rain on 22 May 1872, Wagner’s birthday, followed by the Ninth Symphony in the old opera house. The next four years are full of patrons, Wagner societies, singers, architects, concert tours and money. A royal loan in 1874 rescued the enterprise, and the family moved into Wahnfried that April. On 21 November 1874 Wagner finished the score of Götterdämmerung, a day Cosima remembered with tears, because he was hurt to find her reading a letter from her father at that moment. In between, Cosima converted to Protestantism on 31 October 1872 and took Communion with Wagner: “I felt as if our bond had only now been truly sealed.”
The first festival. The Ring was given complete for the first time in August 1876, before the German Emperor and much of musical Europe. The diaries record the mishaps as well as the triumph, and the exhaustion afterwards: looking back that November, Wagner said his main feeling during the performances had been “Never again, never again!” The festival left a large deficit, and the autumn in Italy brought two meetings that would shape the coming years: the last time the Wagners spent with Nietzsche, at Sorrento, and the first meeting with Count Arthur de Gobineau in Rome on 30 November.
The Parsifal years. Wagner began Parsifal in earnest in 1877 and finished the prose draft on 28 February (“The Redeemer unchained!” Cosima wrote) and the poem on 19 April. Composing the Communion scene that August, he told her that “this scene of Holy Communion will be the main scene, the core of the whole work.” The music grew slowly through 1878 and 1879 beside the founding of the Bayreuther Blätter, the regenerative essays and campaigns against vivisection, and the widening break with Nietzsche. In 1880 the family moved to Naples, where Paul von Joukowsky joined them as stage designer and the garden at Ravello suggested Klingsor’s magic garden; in Siena that August the cathedral moved Wagner to tears and became a model for the Temple of the Grail. That November he conducted the Prelude privately for King Ludwig in Munich. Gobineau stayed at Wahnfried in 1881, and Wagner read his books on race and on the Persians with growing enthusiasm. The score was finished in Palermo on 13 January 1882. “With this, as with all his other works,” Cosima wrote, “he had feared being interrupted by death.”
The premiere and Venice. Sixteen performances of Parsifal followed in July and August 1882, conducted by Hermann Levi. Wagner asked that the audience not call the singers out after the second act, rebuked a chorister for joking about the bread, and at the last performance took the baton himself for the end of the third act. The family then settled in the Palazzo Vendramin in Venice. The last months bring the news of Gobineau’s death, Liszt’s long visit, Hans von Bülow’s breakdown, and on Christmas Eve a performance at La Fenice of the symphony Wagner had written at nineteen, played as a birthday present to Cosima. He was weakened by repeated heart spasms, and he was still talking about writing symphonies and an essay on the feminine. The last entry, on 12 February 1883, ends with him at the piano playing the Rhinedaughters’ lament: “Extraordinary that I saw this so clearly at that time!”
Spirituality. The diaries are themselves partly a religious document. Cosima wrote under a sense of “unatonable guilt” toward Bülow and turned it into a discipline of renunciation. After her conversion she took Communion regularly, writing in 1873 that “the only true communion with people is before the altar,” and she read Meister Eckhart, Tauler, the Theologia Germanica and the Imitation of Christ (“Non sum! How dearly I should like to make that my motto!”). Her devotion to Wagner took the same form, and she wrote that in him she found “not my happiness, but my salvation.”
Wagner’s own faith was heterodox and he said so. Its foundation was Schopenhauer: “it was Schopenhauer who revealed Christianity to me,” he told Cosima in 1879. Through Schopenhauer came Buddhism and the Vedanta, which run through the diaries from first to last: the Buddhist drama Die Sieger, often planned and never written; the Brahmin saying “tat tvam asi,” which he spoke to Cosima at Christmas 1874; readings of the Bhagavad-Gita, the Upanishads and, in Venice, a new life of the Buddha. He set the two traditions side by side rather than choosing between them. Brahmanism was “the religion of intelligence,” but Christianity stood above it as “the religion of suffering.” Buddhism was “a flowering of the human spirit” with no church and no compulsion, and by studying the Buddha, he said in 1882, “one learns to understand Christianity.” Cosima put the difference in a sentence of her own: “Buddha does not move one, he teaches; Christ teaches by moving.”
At the centre stood Christ, kept apart from the church. “I do not believe in God, but in godliness, which is revealed in a Jesus without sin,” Wagner said in 1879, and he repeatedly complained that people “think only of the church and confuse this with Christianity.” In his last years he said that he recognized “no religion except compassion,” extended to animals as well as people, and this lay behind his vegetarian leanings and his fury at vivisection. Art was to carry what the churches had lost. “Art makes religions eternal,” he said in 1872; music was “the only possible church nowadays”; and in 1879 he gave the core of Religion and Art in a sentence, that religion should “influence ethics, and allow faith to be represented by art, which can transform illusion into truth.” “The path from religion to art bad, from art to religion good,” he noted in 1880.
Parsifal was where these ideas met, and the diaries show how carefully he guarded its tone. He called it “his most propitiatory work” and spoke of it as the dream vision of a rite, not the rite itself. He kept Christ off the stage on principle: “One cannot paint Christ, but one can portray him in music,” and to have Christ sung by a tenor was “a disgusting idea.” What he hoped for from his audience was less instruction than inward change, a recognition of suffering that leads to compassion and resignation. In December 1882 he said he would never again try to explain his ideas on the blood of Christ: “these are things one all of a sudden grasps.” Six weeks later, talking of Nature’s cruelty, he said it went on “until the appearance of the Saviour on the cross,” and added, “in the urge to put an end to the whole of Nature’s will to live.”
Nietzsche. The diaries hold the whole arc of the friendship. Nietzsche arrives in 1869 as a brilliant young professor who “knows R.’s works thoroughly,” spends holidays at Tribschen, writes The Birth of Tragedy under Wagner’s spell and stands beside him at the foundation stone. Cosima noticed early “a dubious streak” in him. The last meetings were at Sorrento in 1876. When Human, All Too Human arrived in April 1878, Wagner resolved not to read it, and by 1879 Cosima wrote that Nietzsche had “committed the one sin which cannot be atoned for, the sin against the Holy Ghost.” In later years Wagner spoke of him with contempt and some sorrow, as a promising mind that the modern world had ruined, while Cosima admitted that she could still remember only his friendly side.
Antisemitism. Hostile remarks about Jews by both Wagner and Cosima recur from the first year to the last, aimed at the press, critics, money, Meyerbeer and the modern theatre. In 1873 Wagner opposed intermarriage in racial terms, and the remarks grow harsher from 1879, when the antisemitic movement gathered in Berlin. That October, reading a speech by Adolf Stoecker, he was “in favor of expelling them entirely.” In December 1881, after the Ringtheater fire in Vienna, Cosima records him making “a drastic joke to the effect that all Jews should be burned at a performance of Nathan der Weise.” From 1881 Gobineau’s racial theories enter the conversation, though Wagner usually set Christianity against them; in June 1881 he was “downright explosive in favor of Christian theories in contrast to racial ones,” and that December he said that races were “done for, and all that can now make an impact is, as I have ventured to express it, the blood of Christ.” He also refused to sign the 1880 petition to Bismarck against the Jews, declined to let the Bayreuther Blätter join the agitation, and complained that nobody had noticed what Know Thyself said about “our own blame for our situation.”
The same diaries show Wagner depending on Jewish colleagues, above all Joseph Rubinstein, Angelo Neumann and Hermann Levi, and they show how that dependence was poisoned. In 1880 Wagner said he could not let Levi conduct Parsifal “unbaptized,” and in 1881 he told him he hoped to find “a formula which will make you feel completely one of us.” When an anonymous letter that summer made Levi ask to be released, Wagner wrote persuading him to return, and Levi conducted every performance in 1882 and was with the family in Venice in February 1883. One of the last entries records Wagner saying that “the Jews, the good ones,” were “condemned to a gently resigned asceticism.”
Because the diaries run to thousands of entries, the table below is a finding aid rather than a summary. Choose a year and month to browse, or search the entries, then open a day to read it in full.
| Date | Word Count | Subject |
|---|---|---|
| July 1, 1869 | 334 | Another sleepless night leaves Cosima weak enough to ask Richard for comfort, and he gives her reasons to continue hoping. Siegfried must be kept in darkness for his eye, but the arrival of Beethoven's copied portrait gives the household a friendlike presence and rare joy. Conversations on French and German culture, Goethe and Schiller, Richard's letter to the King, Oedipus, the garden children, and Eckermann all unfold under the shadow of Hans and the future. |
| July 2, 1869 | 229 | Cosima accepts nights of suffering if her days can serve Richard and the children, and the doctor reassures her about Siegfried's eye. Villiers's article naming Richard prince of deep music, Oedipus, garden roses and cherries, and Richard's declaration that she is a manifestation of the divine all mark the day. Trouble with the nurse exposing the baby to light and the return of Nietzsche's poor Meistersinger essay give practical edges to an otherwise sustaining day. |
| July 3, 1869 | 485 | Rain and Richard's need to rewrite Wotan's words frame a day of better medical news for Siegfried's eye and domestic time with the children. Richard reads Droysen and Schopenhauer under Cosima's protection, then discusses Greek history, music, Beethoven's restored primal language, and the musician's lack of place in society. The children's musical responsiveness, especially Lulu's, and Richard's belief that Siegfried's birth promises long life temper Cosima's plans for continued seclusion. |
| July 4, 1869 | 380 | Cosima dreams of travels with Richard and George Sand's reproach, answering inwardly that her deeds were grave but not evil. Richard's composing opens in her the wordless realm of music until Richter arrives with dismal Munich news and memories of Tribschen that move everyone to tears. Tristan, letters, reports of Meistersinger hissing and applause, and late reflections on the sacredness of marriage leave the evening heavy but bound by Richard's devotion. |
| July 5, 1869 | 167 | A dream of Jews, begging with Hans, and stones precedes a letter from Claire that brings Cosima and Richard to the question of divorce. Cosima proposes writing Hans to ask whether he truly wants her to return with the children or whether, for his own sake, he should consent to a divorce. Richard remains silent on the moral decision but writes about Hans's position, while the rest of the day passes quietly with children, boating, Countess Bassenheim, Richter, and a late letter to Claire. |
| July 6, 1869 | 375 | Thunder, Richard's illness, and Cosima's depression lead to a grave conversation about whether sacrificing their life together could leave their love untouched. The discussion wounds Richard but ends in recognition that excessive love makes them vulnerable to each other. Mozart with Richter prompts Cosima's sweeping meditation on Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Mendelssohn, and Wagner as stages in musical creation, before she returns to guilt, metempsychosis, and the longing for atonement. |
| July 7, 1869 | 159 | Cosima's maternal work and Richard's composition proceed side by side, and he joyfully finds the conclusion for Wotan and Erda. A visit with Frau Am Rhyn and the children's play are followed by Mathilde's wounded discovery of the fifth child through Hornstein, which alarms Cosima because of the Munich connection. Richard reproaches her softness toward others, and she answers Mathilde calmly but with renewed worry. |
| July 8, 1869 | 403 | Richter helps arrange the Munich furniture removal while Cosima and Richard discuss ways Hans might be given a more dignified musical position. Richard jokes darkly about enemies and friends, then listens as Cosima reads the Parzival draft to him and Richter, producing tears and purification. News that Siegfried's eye is improving brings sudden blessed relief, and the day closes with children, Richter's farewell, hopes for the future, and prayerful longing for reconciliation. |
| July 9, 1869 | 324 | Serov visits after seeing Tristan and Meistersinger in Munich, praises the performances, and calls Cosima heroic when Richard explains their situation. The children and Siegfried are well, Beethoven's portrait is framed, and Cosima thinks anxiously about Hans and financial provision for the children. Grimm, Oedipus at Colonus, starry garden wandering, and a reflection on woe and wakefulness reveal her fear of both living and dying. |
| July 10, 1869 | 229 | Despite a bad night, Richard feels happy and works hard while Cosima writes Mathilde that people should be told the truth about her. A visit to Countess Bassenheim brings Munich gossip and further concern for the children's future, which Richard tries to calm by wishing he could give her heaven on earth. Loldi's remarks suggest divorce as a possibility, but Cosima feels she can suffer rather than wound Hans further. |
| July 11, 1869 | 241 | Richard reads an article on Judaism in Music and is angered by the notion of a Jewish-Germanic culture, while also enjoying Serov's story of false Wagner verses in Finland. Family life brings berries, church, a meal, chocolate, Beethoven, and a walk, but Richard senses Cosima's unspoken grief over Hans. His memory of Hans striking her opens painful feelings before exhaustion overtakes her. |
| July 12, 1869 | 342 | Judith Mendes announces a visit, Claire writes affectionately, and Richard dreams of flying with Cosima while working despite illness on the Wotan-Siegfried buffo duet. The Serovs arrive and disturb the household rhythm, though Mme Serov remarks on Cosima's complete devotion to her children. The day includes Richard's recollection of an abandoned Napoleon overture, reflections on the gong and musical restraint, time under the linden tree, Raphael illustrations, and great fatigue. |
| July 13, 1869 | 304 | Richard imagines providing Siegfried with a modest secure income so he need not work for money, then discusses medieval poets and mastery. Cosima writes Claire about wanting divorce, plays Beethoven with Richard, drafts a reply to the English translator of Judaism in Music, and is deeply moved by a Bach motet. Schopenhauer on music and horror at Giordano Bruno's martyrdom lead Richard to condemn priestly brutality. |
| July 14, 1869 | 323 | A severe headache yields to a day of Chandon's wine, Munich Rheingold scene sketches, and Richard's comic desire to live terribly long. Loulou's letter to Hans reopens Cosima's sorrow, and she weeps alone while feeling highest happiness and deepest grief together. Richard's return restores joy, after which they discuss Keller, Auerbach, Tieck, and Serov on Berlioz, but she ends with anxiety over fellow suffering rather than conscience. |
| July 15, 1869 | 138 | Cosima drafts a letter to the translator of the Jewish pamphlet while Richard jokes that he has become only a composing machine. A picnic with the children and a visit to Serov leave Richard sad because Eva was left behind and because change unsettles him when Cosima is away. Their good night turns into a stark exchange about paradise, prior lives, and Richard's sense that without her everything is over. |
| July 16, 1869 | 241 | French unrest, Bavarian politics, and the coming Rheingold production make Richard reflect bitterly on the incapable King's fateful enthusiasm. Siegfried's nurse and eye trouble worry Cosima, though she still plays with the children before the Mendes couple and Villiers arrive. Judith Mendes's ungainly enthusiasm forces Richard into performing Walküre and Tristan, and afterward he contrasts their amusement with the way he and Cosima live the music as heart's blood. |
| July 17, 1869 | 242 | Richard praises Cosima as a mother while she supervises Lusch's practice, then helps correct her letter to the English translator of Judaism in Music. Boni's stubbornness worries her, and the Mendes couple return with noisy but kind enthusiasm, stories of Schott's Paris maneuvering, and news of Rienzi's success. Richard plays Wagner excerpts, jokes over their lack of supper, and calls Rheingold's waves the world's lullaby. |
| July 18, 1869 | 133 | Richard is tired from the previous day but works and sends Cosima completed sketches while she tends the youngest children. The Mendes couple spend the afternoon and evening with them, and Judith gives Cosima a precious Chinese-inscribed fan in exchange for a Wagner page whose personal worth makes it hard to surrender. Richard views the couple as an enrichment, though their delicate health concerns him. |
| July 19, 1869 | 65 | Hans writes to Loulou that he may go to Italy with his mother, leaving Cosima melancholy and prayerful for him. The day includes the children, an excursion to the lion monument with their friends, and another evening of Richard playing from his works. Judith Mendes's account of her life opens a disturbing window onto Parisian conditions. |
| July 20, 1869 | 54 | Cosima spends the day mostly with the children, while the Mendes party arrives only late after visiting the riflemen's meeting in Zug. Richard is playing his newest music when they enter. Earlier, Cosima reads Villiers's work and finds it marked more by monstrosity than edification. |
| July 21, 1869 | 70 | The children remain Cosima's center, though Siegfried, Eva, and Boni are all unwell and cause worry. The Mendes couple return for music and garden time, proving excellent people despite the inhibiting French element Cosima feels in them. Richard grows tired but writes kindly to the ill Esser and firmly to Schott about the Jewish pamphlet affair. |
| July 22, 1869 | 137 | Cosima rises before dawn for an excursion with Richard, Loulou, and their friends from Beckenried to Brunnen and the Axenstein. The fine day and moonlit evening contrast with her inward focus on the children's future and on Judith's unhappy family life, which clarifies her own duty to her children. She refuses to let happiness diminish the pain through which she believes she must atone. |
| July 23, 1869 | 71 | An early sunrise with Lusch precedes a boat trip to the Rutli and a return home to find the children well. A wretched letter from Weissheimer upsets Richard, while Claire writes Cosima on business and Schure announces the start of his translation. The day ends early after a bath with Lusch. |
| July 24, 1869 | 208 | News of Professor Braun's death deeply upsets Cosima because he and his wife had been among her kindest Munich friends. Richard says Cosima alone holds him between earth and heaven, and her condolence letter leads to his darkly comic counsel about learning from possible impertinence. Visits from the Serovs and Mendes party, Wagner excerpts, and Richard's anger at German princes who neglect true German talent fill the evening. |
| July 25, 1869 | 382 | Cosima delights in Lulu's piano progress while Richard reflects critically on the Mendes couple and the French character, arguing that music alone might broaden French horizons. Villiers unexpectedly impresses them with a well-read play drawn from real conditions, and Richard contrasts French theatrical conditions with German disorder while explaining differences between symphony and music drama. Farewells to the Mendes couple, Cosima's refusal to go to Paris, thoughts of Hans, and Richter's request for dismissal close a difficult, revealing day. |
| July 26, 1869 | 152 | Rheingold costumes arrive and are judged silly and empty, while Esser is grateful for Richard's friendly letter. Richard tells Cosima he wants only to preserve his present happiness without change, as Lulu and Boni dictate letters to Hans and rain keeps the day subdued. Eva's illness, a walk to meet Richard, and Serov's comic jealous letter about Judith and the French provide the evening's mixture of worry and amusement. |
| July 27, 1869 | 498 | A terrifying dream of Richard aflame is followed by his report of heart pains, making Cosima's morning anxious. Their shared understanding, joy in the children, rumors that the King is at Tribschen, and a revelation that Richard and Mathilde have been corresponding without Cosima all unsettle her. She writes Claire with money for Loulou and reflects that renunciation remains hard even when she seeks no joy except Richard's health and the children's flourishing. |
| July 28, 1869 | 80 | Lessons, Raphael pictures, Eva's illness, and Loulou's piano lesson fill the day while Cosima warns Countess Bassenheim that the doctor may be a spy because of Munich relatives. Colonel Am Rhyn reports that rumors of the Bavarian King's presence at Tribschen are now printed in Catholic papers. Cosima sees little of Richard and replies immediately to Judith in Munich. |
| July 29, 1869 | 56 | Eva remains ill, Boni goes to the dentist, Lusch studies Raphael, and Loldi picks currants while Siegfried is well except for the lingering white spot in his eye. The eye specialist's confident visit brings reassurance. The evening turns domestic and artistic with a magic lantern for the children and piano playing with Richard. |
| July 30, 1869 | 426 | Cosima is unsure whether Richard's kisses in the morning were dream or reality, and she prays that her silent presence may make him and the children happy. Humboldt celebrations, questions about youthful wildness, Joan of Arc, and Richard's wish that she too might be happy lead into a long meditation on simplicity, purity, endurance, and the futility of trying to master fate. A thunderstorm closes a day that becomes a lesson addressed to her children about bearing one's lot. |
| July 31, 1869 | 129 | A melancholy morning is broken by news that Hans, through Hallwachs, has requested Cosima's legal authorization for divorce. The development solemnly satisfies her because it comes from Hans, though she fears he may have been driven to it brutally, while Richard appears happy. Nietzsche visits, Countess Bassenheim's piano lesson follows, the Serovs are at home, Eva remains in bed, and thunder mirrors Cosima's dark thoughts. |
| No diary entries found. | ||