Cosima's Diaries
Recordings by Cosima Wagner between 1869 and 1883
Cosima Wagner kept her diaries from 1 January 1869 at Tribschen until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, so that Siegfried would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: Wagner’s talk, his dreams, the evening readings, the music, the visitors, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear him thinking aloud for so long. The diaries follow the Tribschen idyll, the building of the Bayreuth festival theatre and the composition of Parsifal.
The entries are arranged by year and month and each can be opened on its own page. The sections below trace the main lines of the diaries.
Cosima Wagner began her diaries at Tribschen on 1 January 1869 and kept them until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, and above all for Siegfried, so that he would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: what Wagner said at breakfast, his dreams, the evening readings of Shakespeare, Calderón and Goethe, the music played at the piano, the visitors, illnesses, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear Wagner thinking aloud for so long, or shows so clearly how his ideas moved in his last fourteen years. At Tribschen the household lives in a private idyll, sealed by the birth of a son and by marriage, with the Ring resumed and Nietzsche a frequent guest. From 1872 everything turns to Bayreuth and the building of a festival theatre, achieved through years of fundraising and near collapse. After the 1876 Ring the diaries draw inward to Parsifal, written at Wahnfried and finished on long Italian journeys, while Wagner’s talk reaches toward a religion of compassion drawn from Schopenhauer, Buddhism and the Gospels. The same pages record, often and plainly, the antisemitism of both Wagner and Cosima.
Tribschen. The first pages are a confession. Cosima, who had left Hans von Bülow for Wagner, calls her love “a rebirth, a deliverance,” and writes under a constant sense of guilt toward her husband that she never lost. The years at Tribschen bring the birth of Siegfried in June 1869, her divorce and her marriage to Wagner in the Protestant church at Lucerne on 25 August 1870, the Franco-Prussian War, the essay Beethoven and the completion of Siegfried. On her birthday that Christmas she woke to the Siegfried Idyll played on the staircase. Nietzsche first called on 17 May 1869 and became almost one of the family; his manuscript on the birth of tragedy arrived as a Christmas gift in 1870. Wagner’s remarks already circle the themes of his last years. Music, he said in November 1869, “is the direct product of Christianity, as is the saint,” and the next spring he described the Knight of the Grail as free because “he acts, not in his own behalf, but for others.” If anyone asked whether there was a God, he said in 1870, he would answer that at a moment when thousands are singing to him, “God is alive, he is there.”
Founding Bayreuth. In April 1871 the Wagners first saw Bayreuth; its baroque opera house “will not do for us at all; so we must build.” The foundation stone was laid in the rain on 22 May 1872, Wagner’s birthday, followed by the Ninth Symphony in the old opera house. The next four years are full of patrons, Wagner societies, singers, architects, concert tours and money. A royal loan in 1874 rescued the enterprise, and the family moved into Wahnfried that April. On 21 November 1874 Wagner finished the score of Götterdämmerung, a day Cosima remembered with tears, because he was hurt to find her reading a letter from her father at that moment. In between, Cosima converted to Protestantism on 31 October 1872 and took Communion with Wagner: “I felt as if our bond had only now been truly sealed.”
The first festival. The Ring was given complete for the first time in August 1876, before the German Emperor and much of musical Europe. The diaries record the mishaps as well as the triumph, and the exhaustion afterwards: looking back that November, Wagner said his main feeling during the performances had been “Never again, never again!” The festival left a large deficit, and the autumn in Italy brought two meetings that would shape the coming years: the last time the Wagners spent with Nietzsche, at Sorrento, and the first meeting with Count Arthur de Gobineau in Rome on 30 November.
The Parsifal years. Wagner began Parsifal in earnest in 1877 and finished the prose draft on 28 February (“The Redeemer unchained!” Cosima wrote) and the poem on 19 April. Composing the Communion scene that August, he told her that “this scene of Holy Communion will be the main scene, the core of the whole work.” The music grew slowly through 1878 and 1879 beside the founding of the Bayreuther Blätter, the regenerative essays and campaigns against vivisection, and the widening break with Nietzsche. In 1880 the family moved to Naples, where Paul von Joukowsky joined them as stage designer and the garden at Ravello suggested Klingsor’s magic garden; in Siena that August the cathedral moved Wagner to tears and became a model for the Temple of the Grail. That November he conducted the Prelude privately for King Ludwig in Munich. Gobineau stayed at Wahnfried in 1881, and Wagner read his books on race and on the Persians with growing enthusiasm. The score was finished in Palermo on 13 January 1882. “With this, as with all his other works,” Cosima wrote, “he had feared being interrupted by death.”
The premiere and Venice. Sixteen performances of Parsifal followed in July and August 1882, conducted by Hermann Levi. Wagner asked that the audience not call the singers out after the second act, rebuked a chorister for joking about the bread, and at the last performance took the baton himself for the end of the third act. The family then settled in the Palazzo Vendramin in Venice. The last months bring the news of Gobineau’s death, Liszt’s long visit, Hans von Bülow’s breakdown, and on Christmas Eve a performance at La Fenice of the symphony Wagner had written at nineteen, played as a birthday present to Cosima. He was weakened by repeated heart spasms, and he was still talking about writing symphonies and an essay on the feminine. The last entry, on 12 February 1883, ends with him at the piano playing the Rhinedaughters’ lament: “Extraordinary that I saw this so clearly at that time!”
Spirituality. The diaries are themselves partly a religious document. Cosima wrote under a sense of “unatonable guilt” toward Bülow and turned it into a discipline of renunciation. After her conversion she took Communion regularly, writing in 1873 that “the only true communion with people is before the altar,” and she read Meister Eckhart, Tauler, the Theologia Germanica and the Imitation of Christ (“Non sum! How dearly I should like to make that my motto!”). Her devotion to Wagner took the same form, and she wrote that in him she found “not my happiness, but my salvation.”
Wagner’s own faith was heterodox and he said so. Its foundation was Schopenhauer: “it was Schopenhauer who revealed Christianity to me,” he told Cosima in 1879. Through Schopenhauer came Buddhism and the Vedanta, which run through the diaries from first to last: the Buddhist drama Die Sieger, often planned and never written; the Brahmin saying “tat tvam asi,” which he spoke to Cosima at Christmas 1874; readings of the Bhagavad-Gita, the Upanishads and, in Venice, a new life of the Buddha. He set the two traditions side by side rather than choosing between them. Brahmanism was “the religion of intelligence,” but Christianity stood above it as “the religion of suffering.” Buddhism was “a flowering of the human spirit” with no church and no compulsion, and by studying the Buddha, he said in 1882, “one learns to understand Christianity.” Cosima put the difference in a sentence of her own: “Buddha does not move one, he teaches; Christ teaches by moving.”
At the centre stood Christ, kept apart from the church. “I do not believe in God, but in godliness, which is revealed in a Jesus without sin,” Wagner said in 1879, and he repeatedly complained that people “think only of the church and confuse this with Christianity.” In his last years he said that he recognized “no religion except compassion,” extended to animals as well as people, and this lay behind his vegetarian leanings and his fury at vivisection. Art was to carry what the churches had lost. “Art makes religions eternal,” he said in 1872; music was “the only possible church nowadays”; and in 1879 he gave the core of Religion and Art in a sentence, that religion should “influence ethics, and allow faith to be represented by art, which can transform illusion into truth.” “The path from religion to art bad, from art to religion good,” he noted in 1880.
Parsifal was where these ideas met, and the diaries show how carefully he guarded its tone. He called it “his most propitiatory work” and spoke of it as the dream vision of a rite, not the rite itself. He kept Christ off the stage on principle: “One cannot paint Christ, but one can portray him in music,” and to have Christ sung by a tenor was “a disgusting idea.” What he hoped for from his audience was less instruction than inward change, a recognition of suffering that leads to compassion and resignation. In December 1882 he said he would never again try to explain his ideas on the blood of Christ: “these are things one all of a sudden grasps.” Six weeks later, talking of Nature’s cruelty, he said it went on “until the appearance of the Saviour on the cross,” and added, “in the urge to put an end to the whole of Nature’s will to live.”
Nietzsche. The diaries hold the whole arc of the friendship. Nietzsche arrives in 1869 as a brilliant young professor who “knows R.’s works thoroughly,” spends holidays at Tribschen, writes The Birth of Tragedy under Wagner’s spell and stands beside him at the foundation stone. Cosima noticed early “a dubious streak” in him. The last meetings were at Sorrento in 1876. When Human, All Too Human arrived in April 1878, Wagner resolved not to read it, and by 1879 Cosima wrote that Nietzsche had “committed the one sin which cannot be atoned for, the sin against the Holy Ghost.” In later years Wagner spoke of him with contempt and some sorrow, as a promising mind that the modern world had ruined, while Cosima admitted that she could still remember only his friendly side.
Antisemitism. Hostile remarks about Jews by both Wagner and Cosima recur from the first year to the last, aimed at the press, critics, money, Meyerbeer and the modern theatre. In 1873 Wagner opposed intermarriage in racial terms, and the remarks grow harsher from 1879, when the antisemitic movement gathered in Berlin. That October, reading a speech by Adolf Stoecker, he was “in favor of expelling them entirely.” In December 1881, after the Ringtheater fire in Vienna, Cosima records him making “a drastic joke to the effect that all Jews should be burned at a performance of Nathan der Weise.” From 1881 Gobineau’s racial theories enter the conversation, though Wagner usually set Christianity against them; in June 1881 he was “downright explosive in favor of Christian theories in contrast to racial ones,” and that December he said that races were “done for, and all that can now make an impact is, as I have ventured to express it, the blood of Christ.” He also refused to sign the 1880 petition to Bismarck against the Jews, declined to let the Bayreuther Blätter join the agitation, and complained that nobody had noticed what Know Thyself said about “our own blame for our situation.”
The same diaries show Wagner depending on Jewish colleagues, above all Joseph Rubinstein, Angelo Neumann and Hermann Levi, and they show how that dependence was poisoned. In 1880 Wagner said he could not let Levi conduct Parsifal “unbaptized,” and in 1881 he told him he hoped to find “a formula which will make you feel completely one of us.” When an anonymous letter that summer made Levi ask to be released, Wagner wrote persuading him to return, and Levi conducted every performance in 1882 and was with the family in Venice in February 1883. One of the last entries records Wagner saying that “the Jews, the good ones,” were “condemned to a gently resigned asceticism.”
Because the diaries run to thousands of entries, the table below is a finding aid rather than a summary. Choose a year and month to browse, or search the entries, then open a day to read it in full.
| Date | Word Count | Subject |
|---|---|---|
| May 1, 1869 | 185 | A bat in Richard's room gives Cosima an ominous start, though May weather and Richard's image of nature as a peasant bride bring beauty. Lessons, medicine for Loulou, paper hangers, Loldi's renewed illness, and birthday preparations exhaust her, while Richard's new music transports her to melancholy bliss. Practical errands, weary domestic work, and more Frederick anecdotes pull the day back down from artistic heights. |
| May 2, 1869 | 291 | May's beauty fills the outdoors while Cosima keeps three children at home and sends Boni to church. Loldi remains ill, Loulou is moved by Wilhelm Tell, and Richard defines a hero as one who knows no fear. A fair in town, Meysenbug's missing letters, Richard's surprising invitation for her to live at Tribschen, and the children's joy lead Cosima to see happiness only in the delight of loved beings. |
| May 3, 1869 | 218 | A departing maid's vulgar abuse begins Cosima's Monday, but the evil omen gives way to Richard's cheerfulness and jokes about happiness making composition difficult. His new music before lunch creates a blissful hour that makes earthly miseries vanish. An outing with the older children and Richard leaves her weary but exalted. |
| May 4, 1869 | 183 | Cosima sends birthday-related letters widely while Richard rises late after a bad night and receives the King's telegram marking five years since his arrival in Munich. Loldi improves only slightly, and Cosima longs for a mother even as she wants always to be available to her children. Richard explains that composition requires restraint amid too many ideas, while May blossoms, Frederick anecdotes, and late embroidery fill the evening. |
| May 5, 1869 | 76 | Loldi's renewed illness casts Richard's gray veil over Cosima's day. She works with the healthy girls, tends the sick child, and notes Loulou's first piano lesson with Marie Bassenheim. Letters from Mathilde and Claire bring practical news and reassurance that Cosima's mother is improving. |
| May 6, 1869 | 203 | Ascension Day is spent gently because Loldi and Lusch are unwell, with the children mostly in the garden and Cosima embroidering beside them. Walks with Richard, birdsong, a Boston peace festival program featuring Tannhäuser, Flaxland's money, Frederick's letters, and Beethoven at the piano fill the day. Richard promises to conduct a Beethoven symphony for Cosima in the fall, giving the domestic day an artistic horizon. |
| May 7, 1869 | 920 | Pasdeloup's telegram, spring greenery, Loldi's slow recovery, and Vreneli's pregnancy begin a period crowded with household and emotional disturbance. Richard's despondency over Loldi, conflict over Cosima's planned confinement, Loldi's relapse, errands for birthday costumes, Paris visitors, honorary news from Berlin, a sleepless embroidery vigil, Hans's depressing letters, Apel's Freischutz story, and unwanted approaches from admirers and opportunists fill the combined May 7-13 row. Through it all Cosima is stretched between children, secrecy, Richard's sensitivity, household upheaval, and the wish for only children, art, and a May morning. |
| May 14, 1869 | 199 | After embroidering until four in the morning, Cosima is exhausted while Loulou dictates to Hans and the children try on their herald costumes. Richard works but worries that Cosima is destroying herself with effort, and his evening piano playing overwhelms her into sobbing prayer for Hans, the children, and Richard himself. Letters from Heim and Pasdeloup, including interest in Lohengrin, close the day while Loldi remains unwell. |
| May 15, 1869 | 113 | Cosima takes a bath, teaches Lusch piano, and finds Richard kind and loving as he joins in. Birthday errands, a letter from Frau Wille about Tannhäuser, Marie Muchanoff's clumsy concern, the arrival of a Paris bronze, and Lusch's letter to Hans fill the day. Richard's composition remains Cosima's only joy, while grief for Hans persists beneath everything. |
| May 16, 1869 | 54 | On Whitsunday, Loldi improves enough for the family to eat with the children. Prince Wallerstein visits and gives Cosima instructive views of Bavaria under three kings, while she studies geography with Lusch and Richard plays from Euryanthe. The day ends with late embroidery as birthday preparations continue. |
| May 17, 1869 | 237 | After little sleep, Cosima teaches the children and receives news from Dufflipp that Munich troubles may be repaired, while the King wishes to see Richard on his birthday. Nietzsche visits at lunch and proves a quiet, knowledgeable admirer, but Richard is preoccupied by dissatisfaction with his work. The combined row then moves to Cosima's renewed wish for a distant confinement, Richard's sadness, Lenbach's failure to send her portrait, and Cervantes in the evening. |
| May 19, 1869 | 160 | Tired and worried, Cosima divides herself between children and embroidery until Richard plays new music whose themes connect the Starnberg days with the present score. The fusion of life and art fills her with joy, even as birthday work falls behind and the children try on herald costumes. Evening discussion returns to where the baby should be born, balancing consideration for Hans against Cosima's comfort, and to Jakob's possible priestly influence. |
| May 20, 1869 | 153 | Morning pains follow a restful night, but Richard has moved toward Cosima's view that the elder children should go to Claire in Versailles for the confinement. He works despite poor health, while news from Munich, Leroy's journal scheme, Nietzsche's birthday invitation, and Claire's report that Cosima's mother's insanity has lifted fill the day. Folk songs with Lusch and the beginning of Don Quixote give the evening a warmer domestic close. |
| May 21, 1869 | 210 | Sultry weather and preparations for Richard's birthday bring Richter and the Paris quartet, with Cosima managing arrangements at the Hotel du Lac. The staged surprise of holly, herald children, and the King's supposed arrival confuses Richard, but conversation with Richter leaves Cosima deeply sad over Hans. She frames her course as governed by a divinity beyond choice, willing to bear public condemnation but not Hans's suffering. |
| May 22, 1869 | 81 | Richard's birthday unfolds as a carefully staged dream, beginning with his bust surrounded by flowers and Richter sounding Siegfried's call. The children appear as heralds of peace, the Paris quartet arrives, and Beethoven quartets fill the day. Richard is surprised and delighted, while Cosima feels mostly moved to tears amid telegrams from the King and Hungary. |
| May 23, 1869 | 98 | The Schures' visit disrupts the solitude Cosima needs, leaving Richard worn out and her thoughts elsewhere. Birthday letters arrive from Nohl, Lang, Nietzsche, Wickerle, and others, but many friends and relatives remain silent, which Cosima finds mean. By evening she feels melancholy and certain that solitude is all they require. |
| May 24, 1869 | 114 | Weariness, Richard's illness, and paper hangers make the day trying, though Luise's sad but affectionate letter about the Jewish pamphlet arrives. Cosima plays and works with the children, supervises Lulu's piano, and hears from Marie Muchanoff in a more sensible tone after rumors about family quarrels. Richard is deeply concerned when he learns how many nights Cosima stayed awake finishing embroidery and reproaches her lack of self-care. |
| May 25, 1869 | 85 | A kind letter from the Schures cannot lift Cosima's melancholy while Richard remains unwell. She tells him plainly that her anxiety centers on the children and on whether his inability to economize will leave them unprovided for. Paper hangers, lessons with the children, an outing to inspect an old bureau, and Don Quixote make up the day's practical and literary frame. |
| May 26, 1869 | 223 | With Hermine away, Cosima and Richard decide to keep the elder children with them despite possible reproaches, valuing stability and continued upbringing. Richard kneels before her in devotion, while she teaches, attends piano lessons, and discusses Bavarian and Paris elections with Bassenheim and Wallerstein. Political developments and the King's gratitude to clerical forces distress Richard deeply before Don Quixote and early sleep end the day. |
| May 27, 1869 | 294 | Corpus Christi festivities bring cannon fire and a procession for the children, but Richard's illness turns their outing into a painful reproach that Cosima is losing herself entirely in motherhood. He later attributes the mood to illness, while she writes letters, reads him Uncle Adolph's Theater and Public, receives the King's flowers, and reads Merchant of Venice scenes. The day leaves her shaken by the need to satisfy both maternal duty and Richard's claims on her. |
| May 28, 1869 | 424 | Cosima tries to organize her twin duties so the children work while Richard composes, and the day includes letters, Haydn symphonies, Lusch's letter to Hans, and Richard's divine sketch. Stormy weather suits her worried heart, and Jakob's sick child is quieted by her touch, prompting Richard to praise her almost miraculous hand. The original row then turns to the next day: piano practice, punishment of Boni, Richard's exalted view of Cosima, Mozart duets, errands, Hans's discouraging letter, and disappointing Rienzi royalties. |
| May 30, 1869 | 233 | After an anxious night that feels almost like labor, Cosima spends a quiet day on lessons, piano, family lunch, Mozart duets, fairy tales, games, and magic lantern with the children. Richard's praise for her child-rearing gives her intense happiness, and he interprets the King's caution as providential. The children find two fallen robin chicks, which the household tries to nurse in cotton wool. |
| May 31, 1869 | 129 | A rainy indoor day begins with breakfast upstairs with Richard and lessons with the children while he sketches. A biography and portrait of Hans upset Cosima, though the household remains industrious and cheerful until the cat kills the rescued birds. Don Quixote and delight in Boni's improved meekness and modesty close the day on a note of maternal observation. |
| No diary entries found. | ||