Cosima's Diaries
Recordings by Cosima Wagner between 1869 and 1883
Cosima Wagner kept her diaries from 1 January 1869 at Tribschen until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, so that Siegfried would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: Wagner’s talk, his dreams, the evening readings, the music, the visitors, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear him thinking aloud for so long. The diaries follow the Tribschen idyll, the building of the Bayreuth festival theatre and the composition of Parsifal.
The entries are arranged by year and month and each can be opened on its own page. The sections below trace the main lines of the diaries.
Cosima Wagner began her diaries at Tribschen on 1 January 1869 and kept them until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, and above all for Siegfried, so that he would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: what Wagner said at breakfast, his dreams, the evening readings of Shakespeare, Calderón and Goethe, the music played at the piano, the visitors, illnesses, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear Wagner thinking aloud for so long, or shows so clearly how his ideas moved in his last fourteen years. At Tribschen the household lives in a private idyll, sealed by the birth of a son and by marriage, with the Ring resumed and Nietzsche a frequent guest. From 1872 everything turns to Bayreuth and the building of a festival theatre, achieved through years of fundraising and near collapse. After the 1876 Ring the diaries draw inward to Parsifal, written at Wahnfried and finished on long Italian journeys, while Wagner’s talk reaches toward a religion of compassion drawn from Schopenhauer, Buddhism and the Gospels. The same pages record, often and plainly, the antisemitism of both Wagner and Cosima.
Tribschen. The first pages are a confession. Cosima, who had left Hans von Bülow for Wagner, calls her love “a rebirth, a deliverance,” and writes under a constant sense of guilt toward her husband that she never lost. The years at Tribschen bring the birth of Siegfried in June 1869, her divorce and her marriage to Wagner in the Protestant church at Lucerne on 25 August 1870, the Franco-Prussian War, the essay Beethoven and the completion of Siegfried. On her birthday that Christmas she woke to the Siegfried Idyll played on the staircase. Nietzsche first called on 17 May 1869 and became almost one of the family; his manuscript on the birth of tragedy arrived as a Christmas gift in 1870. Wagner’s remarks already circle the themes of his last years. Music, he said in November 1869, “is the direct product of Christianity, as is the saint,” and the next spring he described the Knight of the Grail as free because “he acts, not in his own behalf, but for others.” If anyone asked whether there was a God, he said in 1870, he would answer that at a moment when thousands are singing to him, “God is alive, he is there.”
Founding Bayreuth. In April 1871 the Wagners first saw Bayreuth; its baroque opera house “will not do for us at all; so we must build.” The foundation stone was laid in the rain on 22 May 1872, Wagner’s birthday, followed by the Ninth Symphony in the old opera house. The next four years are full of patrons, Wagner societies, singers, architects, concert tours and money. A royal loan in 1874 rescued the enterprise, and the family moved into Wahnfried that April. On 21 November 1874 Wagner finished the score of Götterdämmerung, a day Cosima remembered with tears, because he was hurt to find her reading a letter from her father at that moment. In between, Cosima converted to Protestantism on 31 October 1872 and took Communion with Wagner: “I felt as if our bond had only now been truly sealed.”
The first festival. The Ring was given complete for the first time in August 1876, before the German Emperor and much of musical Europe. The diaries record the mishaps as well as the triumph, and the exhaustion afterwards: looking back that November, Wagner said his main feeling during the performances had been “Never again, never again!” The festival left a large deficit, and the autumn in Italy brought two meetings that would shape the coming years: the last time the Wagners spent with Nietzsche, at Sorrento, and the first meeting with Count Arthur de Gobineau in Rome on 30 November.
The Parsifal years. Wagner began Parsifal in earnest in 1877 and finished the prose draft on 28 February (“The Redeemer unchained!” Cosima wrote) and the poem on 19 April. Composing the Communion scene that August, he told her that “this scene of Holy Communion will be the main scene, the core of the whole work.” The music grew slowly through 1878 and 1879 beside the founding of the Bayreuther Blätter, the regenerative essays and campaigns against vivisection, and the widening break with Nietzsche. In 1880 the family moved to Naples, where Paul von Joukowsky joined them as stage designer and the garden at Ravello suggested Klingsor’s magic garden; in Siena that August the cathedral moved Wagner to tears and became a model for the Temple of the Grail. That November he conducted the Prelude privately for King Ludwig in Munich. Gobineau stayed at Wahnfried in 1881, and Wagner read his books on race and on the Persians with growing enthusiasm. The score was finished in Palermo on 13 January 1882. “With this, as with all his other works,” Cosima wrote, “he had feared being interrupted by death.”
The premiere and Venice. Sixteen performances of Parsifal followed in July and August 1882, conducted by Hermann Levi. Wagner asked that the audience not call the singers out after the second act, rebuked a chorister for joking about the bread, and at the last performance took the baton himself for the end of the third act. The family then settled in the Palazzo Vendramin in Venice. The last months bring the news of Gobineau’s death, Liszt’s long visit, Hans von Bülow’s breakdown, and on Christmas Eve a performance at La Fenice of the symphony Wagner had written at nineteen, played as a birthday present to Cosima. He was weakened by repeated heart spasms, and he was still talking about writing symphonies and an essay on the feminine. The last entry, on 12 February 1883, ends with him at the piano playing the Rhinedaughters’ lament: “Extraordinary that I saw this so clearly at that time!”
Spirituality. The diaries are themselves partly a religious document. Cosima wrote under a sense of “unatonable guilt” toward Bülow and turned it into a discipline of renunciation. After her conversion she took Communion regularly, writing in 1873 that “the only true communion with people is before the altar,” and she read Meister Eckhart, Tauler, the Theologia Germanica and the Imitation of Christ (“Non sum! How dearly I should like to make that my motto!”). Her devotion to Wagner took the same form, and she wrote that in him she found “not my happiness, but my salvation.”
Wagner’s own faith was heterodox and he said so. Its foundation was Schopenhauer: “it was Schopenhauer who revealed Christianity to me,” he told Cosima in 1879. Through Schopenhauer came Buddhism and the Vedanta, which run through the diaries from first to last: the Buddhist drama Die Sieger, often planned and never written; the Brahmin saying “tat tvam asi,” which he spoke to Cosima at Christmas 1874; readings of the Bhagavad-Gita, the Upanishads and, in Venice, a new life of the Buddha. He set the two traditions side by side rather than choosing between them. Brahmanism was “the religion of intelligence,” but Christianity stood above it as “the religion of suffering.” Buddhism was “a flowering of the human spirit” with no church and no compulsion, and by studying the Buddha, he said in 1882, “one learns to understand Christianity.” Cosima put the difference in a sentence of her own: “Buddha does not move one, he teaches; Christ teaches by moving.”
At the centre stood Christ, kept apart from the church. “I do not believe in God, but in godliness, which is revealed in a Jesus without sin,” Wagner said in 1879, and he repeatedly complained that people “think only of the church and confuse this with Christianity.” In his last years he said that he recognized “no religion except compassion,” extended to animals as well as people, and this lay behind his vegetarian leanings and his fury at vivisection. Art was to carry what the churches had lost. “Art makes religions eternal,” he said in 1872; music was “the only possible church nowadays”; and in 1879 he gave the core of Religion and Art in a sentence, that religion should “influence ethics, and allow faith to be represented by art, which can transform illusion into truth.” “The path from religion to art bad, from art to religion good,” he noted in 1880.
Parsifal was where these ideas met, and the diaries show how carefully he guarded its tone. He called it “his most propitiatory work” and spoke of it as the dream vision of a rite, not the rite itself. He kept Christ off the stage on principle: “One cannot paint Christ, but one can portray him in music,” and to have Christ sung by a tenor was “a disgusting idea.” What he hoped for from his audience was less instruction than inward change, a recognition of suffering that leads to compassion and resignation. In December 1882 he said he would never again try to explain his ideas on the blood of Christ: “these are things one all of a sudden grasps.” Six weeks later, talking of Nature’s cruelty, he said it went on “until the appearance of the Saviour on the cross,” and added, “in the urge to put an end to the whole of Nature’s will to live.”
Nietzsche. The diaries hold the whole arc of the friendship. Nietzsche arrives in 1869 as a brilliant young professor who “knows R.’s works thoroughly,” spends holidays at Tribschen, writes The Birth of Tragedy under Wagner’s spell and stands beside him at the foundation stone. Cosima noticed early “a dubious streak” in him. The last meetings were at Sorrento in 1876. When Human, All Too Human arrived in April 1878, Wagner resolved not to read it, and by 1879 Cosima wrote that Nietzsche had “committed the one sin which cannot be atoned for, the sin against the Holy Ghost.” In later years Wagner spoke of him with contempt and some sorrow, as a promising mind that the modern world had ruined, while Cosima admitted that she could still remember only his friendly side.
Antisemitism. Hostile remarks about Jews by both Wagner and Cosima recur from the first year to the last, aimed at the press, critics, money, Meyerbeer and the modern theatre. In 1873 Wagner opposed intermarriage in racial terms, and the remarks grow harsher from 1879, when the antisemitic movement gathered in Berlin. That October, reading a speech by Adolf Stoecker, he was “in favor of expelling them entirely.” In December 1881, after the Ringtheater fire in Vienna, Cosima records him making “a drastic joke to the effect that all Jews should be burned at a performance of Nathan der Weise.” From 1881 Gobineau’s racial theories enter the conversation, though Wagner usually set Christianity against them; in June 1881 he was “downright explosive in favor of Christian theories in contrast to racial ones,” and that December he said that races were “done for, and all that can now make an impact is, as I have ventured to express it, the blood of Christ.” He also refused to sign the 1880 petition to Bismarck against the Jews, declined to let the Bayreuther Blätter join the agitation, and complained that nobody had noticed what Know Thyself said about “our own blame for our situation.”
The same diaries show Wagner depending on Jewish colleagues, above all Joseph Rubinstein, Angelo Neumann and Hermann Levi, and they show how that dependence was poisoned. In 1880 Wagner said he could not let Levi conduct Parsifal “unbaptized,” and in 1881 he told him he hoped to find “a formula which will make you feel completely one of us.” When an anonymous letter that summer made Levi ask to be released, Wagner wrote persuading him to return, and Levi conducted every performance in 1882 and was with the family in Venice in February 1883. One of the last entries records Wagner saying that “the Jews, the good ones,” were “condemned to a gently resigned asceticism.”
Because the diaries run to thousands of entries, the table below is a finding aid rather than a summary. Choose a year and month to browse, or search the entries, then open a day to read it in full.
| Date | Word Count | Subject |
|---|---|---|
| December 1, 1880 | 447 | R., still troubled at night, read about New Zealand before dawn, and his thoughts kept returning to emigration as the only youthful path worth taking. The day ranged from plans for the Blatter and criticism of modern thinkers to a walk in the cold gardens and an intimate late conversation in which past decisions, Bayreuth, and Cosima’s devotion to him rather than merely his cause came fully into view. |
| December 2, 1880 | 449 | A restless night left R. full of strange dreams and tender dependence, and Cosima gave up a trip because even brief separation darkened his mood. Telegrams from Hans, renewed thoughts of adopting the children, a drive through fog, letters to the King, and the close of the Uhlig correspondence all led into an evening of deep melancholy, though it ended in strong mutual harmony. |
| December 3, 1880 | 618 | Sadness flickered between them in the morning, but it gave way to lively discussion about honor, beauty, Goethe, and the limits of writing for the public. Fine weather, music heard from afar, two walks, a glowing sunset, and quiet hours alone together made the day feel unusually full and sheltered, even as both knew such happiness could not be sealed off from the outer world. |
| December 4, 1880 | 389 | After another difficult night, R. spoke with unusual clarity about the tragedy of idealism and love, arguing that what cannot be fulfilled in life is also what makes life endurable. Bad weather and eye pain darkened the day, yet Beethoven, plans for the expanded Blatter, and an evening quartet played by Rub. gave him intense delight while Cosima felt distant and exhausted. |
| December 5, 1880 | 220 | Both passed another restless night, and a telegram from Hülsen confirmed the expected pressure around performances, which R. chose to ignore. Reading Wolzogen’s plan for the enlarged Blatter brought shared embarrassment until they decided to leave matters as they were, and a joke about subscriptions for human decline transformed their depression into laughter, even while R.’s painful eyes kept him from reading and she had to read aloud instead. |
| December 6, 1880 | 256 | After a sleepless night she missed breakfast with R., who later read Schelling aloud and turned dense philosophy into shared horror and laughter. Stein’s visit revived hopes for Fidi’s future ties with Halle, and by evening R. was buoyant, joking about Naples, Africa, and entering the youthful phase of a new period of life. |
| December 7, 1880 | 367 | A better night gave way to talk about life’s justice, with R. reflecting that hardship may serve a deeper purpose and linking his own endurance to duty, marriage, and royal support. They visited Stein and the troubled Joukowsky, mocked lavish but empty bookmaking, heard R. play from Die Meistersinger, and ended the day anxious about the children yet sustained by a strong sense of blessing. |
| December 8, 1880 | 206 | After a restless night caused by household worries, their morning still turned toward cheerful discussion of resignation, morality, and the tragic nature of existence. The evening drifted into memories of Italy and art, and before parting R. tenderly told her she was the good principle holding everything together. |
| December 9, 1880 | 738 | R. woke cheerful despite lingering business troubles, joked about people wanting him to make them conductors, and dismissed absurd claims that his followers treated him like a savior. A walk, family talk, war stories, and reflections on Germany filled the day, ending with Mozart at the piano and a quiet, affectionate hour with the older girls. |
| December 10, 1880 | 271 | Storm and gray weather weighed on the house, but a letter from Hans and a visit to Joukowsky deepened the day into something solemn. Back at home, worries about the children and illness gave way to comfort as she brightened R.’s mood with dress-up and Cervantes, turning a bleak day into a hard-won victory of spirit over circumstance. |
| December 11, 1880 | 542 | R. slept well, dismissed contemporary German writers, and split the day between Schelling, work on the score, and plans for escaping Germany next winter in favor of Italy. Despite oppressive fog, the evening became vivid with costumes, musical discussion, memories of Weber and Beethoven, and R.’s passionate analysis of the quartet they had heard. |
| December 12, 1880 | 320 | After an awful night she felt exhausted, while R. wrestled with orchestral ideas and imagined new instruments before settling on brass for a scene he was composing. Their talk moved from revolution and sacrifice to education and religion, and since the weather kept them indoors they closed the day contentedly with more Cervantes. |
| December 13, 1880 | 273 | Another punishing night left R. feeling physically tormented, and he took it as a sign that the gods were urging him to finish his work while he still could. Yet the mood lifted with a birthday telegram to Lenbach, jokes about Spain, praise for Cervantes, and serious hopes that Stein might help shape the education of their son. |
| December 14, 1880 | 409 | Though the night was not disastrous, R. rose early and found fleeting beauty in the sound of dripping water, likening it to Chopin. Bad weather, literary talk, teasing memories of past loves, productive evening work, and a reading from Parsifal for Stein carried him into high spirits, while moonlight finally made Wahnfried seem enchanted. |
| December 15, 1880 | 297 | R. began the day pondering Richard III and the strange contempt of a man hardened by war for those who sought pleasure afterward. A pleasant walk, comic observations in the gardens, and Feustel’s absurd account of the Voltz and Batz family feud made the evening lively, though talk of German finances ended it on a note of national concern. |
| December 16, 1880 | 329 | After a restless late start, she and R. walked twice, first under bright weather and later happily through rain. He vented his anger over Schelling and Frantz, admired Marke as a creature of pure nature, reflected at supper on fate's justice and the difference between true visionaries and narrow followers, and the day ended with Rubinstein playing the C-sharp minor quartet. |
| December 17, 1880 | 296 | R. slept somewhat better but was strained by medicine, and at breakfast he spoke confidently about his skill in orchestration even while admitting past problems balancing singers. A walk in the gardens led to his wish for a version of the Gospels and the Bhagavad-Gita stripped of later additions, and the evening moved from a fatherly talk on vegetarianism to music, Beethoven remembrance, and a bittersweet exchange about joy, victory, and defeat at parting. |
| December 18, 1880 | 513 | R. jolted awake violently in the night, then spent the day reading Gobineau with relief after his disgust at Schelling, walking out, visiting the rheumatic Joukowsky, and entertaining Feustel, the mayor, and Wolzogen. News from Italy and troubles over Siegfried's education left him worn and irritable, and a long painful nighttime conversation about Hans, Lusch, and the hurt of hearing about the Ninth Symphony kept them both unsettled. |
| December 19, 1880 | 568 | After a better early-morning sleep, R. remained grave, criticized French verse and Ariosto-like lightness in Amadis, and drafted a solemn letter to Frege about Hans. They found deep delight in Cervantes and laughed over smaller absurdities, but rain, troubling news from Feustel about Hans's complaints, and weak interest in a new story left the evening subdued and reflective about standing by one another through hardship. |
| December 21, 1880 | 272 | A bearable night was followed by fresh worry that Hans's conduct might harm the girls, and bad weather deepened R.'s depression until an afternoon walk gave room for quieter talk. She told him she wished to flee somewhere distant with him, he wrestled with the uncertain Society of Patrons and chose not to send the letter to Frege, and the day closed with friends, singing, and his animated thoughts on how Mozart ought to be rehearsed. |
| December 22, 1880 | 366 | Though the weather was fair and R. worked some, recent tensions still weighed on him, and he sharply objected when talk of the Ninth Symphony was raised before Lusch. He read aloud on the Jewish question, tied money and state power to the issue, then a dismal walk and thoughts of the older girls ended only when they reconciled tenderly, while the evening brought weary boredom, a sour joke for Niemann, and continued dislike of the Turkish tale they were reading. |
| December 23, 1880 | 270 | R. slept well but spent the stormy day brooding over Venice, the future of Wahnfried, and other practical troubles, including an irksome letter to Herr Batz. Preparations for the children's Christmas tableau were interrupted by his showing off a newly orchestrated passage, and later Wolzogen's visit revived him into wide-ranging talk about South Africa, politics, language, Jager, and the literary place Balzac should hold for France. |
| December 24, 1880 | 427 | On Christmas Eve R. wanted support for the Boers printed in the Blatter, walked with her in and around the gardens, and lamented both anti-German abuse in Jacolliot and the small task of merely keeping life's candle burning a little longer. He reminisced about his childhood theatrical mimicry, enjoyed a comic local anecdote, and was deeply delighted by the children's Holy Family tableau, the tree, Marke's gift, and Joukowsky's portrait of Fidi. |
| December 25, 1880 | 750 | Christmas Day overflowed with gifts, music, family affection, and overwhelming gratitude, especially the copied Ninth Symphony from R.'s youth, treasured old objects, the children's offerings, and sketches by Joukowsky. He toasted her, wept at the repeated tableau vivant, played Weber with Rubinstein, drifted through memories of composers and jokes, and ended the night whispering that he was happy enough to die because everything essential had been fulfilled. |
| December 26, 1880 | 199 | R. woke with a slight headache from festivity but remained cheerful, wrote a detailed letter about the dogs, and then walked with her before welcoming Seidl from Leipzig. Lunch talk returned to the Berlin project and his frustration at public misunderstandings over von Hulsen and court performances, while later he worked on his score, revisited the beauty of the Christmas tableau as something living beyond paint, and complained in the evening of how dull their friends had become. |
| December 27, 1880 | 234 | R. slept well while I happily arranged my gifts and took pleasure in my cozy room. A letter from the King brought news of a Renaissance cabinet and a bronze model of the new castle, though bad weather, chest pains, luncheon troubles, and Batz business darkened the day before a magician cheered everyone in the evening. A telegram from Neumann about Ring productions in America, London, and St. Petersburg revived hopes that the work might finally improve R.'s finances. |
| December 28, 1880 | 328 | R. had a poor night but rested in the morning, and we spent the day walking in the palace gardens despite the mild weather and persistent rain that made Italy seem more tempting. Seidl played passages from Parsifal, which pleased R., and later our talk turned reflective as we discussed cruelty, religious truth, and the strange way opera had once been dismissed as a lesser art. He also remarked again that drama needs living performers, not merely private rendering. |
| December 29, 1880 | 422 | R. began the day reading Gobineau, and when the expected rehearsal failed to happen, we walked in almost springlike weather with Seidl while talk centered on Berlin, Russia, Ireland, and money-making resolutions for the new year. R. grew sharp over Batz matters and especially over Seidl's conducting for Gross, insisting that obligation should be fulfilled without giving away one's soul. The evening mixed discussion of his article, contempt for Lenbach, talk of donations to Mommsen, and renewed disgust whenever Meiningen was mentioned. |
| December 30, 1880 | 431 | Seidl left with instructions for Neumann and material for Tristan, while R. devoted much of the day to a long letter to the King. His thoughts grew dark and speculative over coffee as he imagined future French revenge, a weakened Germany, and even emigration, yet the walks in the palace gardens brought lighter moments, with sunset colors, military sounds, and joking observations about faces. I was exhausted enough to lie down during the day, and R. responded with touching solicitude. |
| December 31, 1880 | 547 | Both of us slept better than we had in weeks, and R. spent the day reading Gobineau, drafting a contrived letter to Batz, and walking with me until rain spoiled the afternoon outing. Conversation moved from Siegfried's need for companionship to irritation over Seidl's dishonesty and beer-soaked habits, which brought out R.'s severe moral intensity. The evening softened into holiday ritual with candles, lead fortunes, music from the A Major Symphony, and readings from Helm and Aristophanes before we retired without waiting for midnight. |
| No diary entries found. | ||