Cosima's Diaries
Recordings by Cosima Wagner between 1869 and 1883
Cosima Wagner kept her diaries from 1 January 1869 at Tribschen until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, so that Siegfried would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: Wagner’s talk, his dreams, the evening readings, the music, the visitors, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear him thinking aloud for so long. The diaries follow the Tribschen idyll, the building of the Bayreuth festival theatre and the composition of Parsifal.
The entries are arranged by year and month and each can be opened on its own page. The sections below trace the main lines of the diaries.
Cosima Wagner began her diaries at Tribschen on 1 January 1869 and kept them until the night before Wagner’s death in Venice on 13 February 1883. She wrote them for her children, and above all for Siegfried, so that he would one day know his father “truly,” and she wrote nearly every day: what Wagner said at breakfast, his dreams, the evening readings of Shakespeare, Calderón and Goethe, the music played at the piano, the visitors, illnesses, debts and quarrels. No other source lets us hear Wagner thinking aloud for so long, or shows so clearly how his ideas moved in his last fourteen years. At Tribschen the household lives in a private idyll, sealed by the birth of a son and by marriage, with the Ring resumed and Nietzsche a frequent guest. From 1872 everything turns to Bayreuth and the building of a festival theatre, achieved through years of fundraising and near collapse. After the 1876 Ring the diaries draw inward to Parsifal, written at Wahnfried and finished on long Italian journeys, while Wagner’s talk reaches toward a religion of compassion drawn from Schopenhauer, Buddhism and the Gospels. The same pages record, often and plainly, the antisemitism of both Wagner and Cosima.
Tribschen. The first pages are a confession. Cosima, who had left Hans von Bülow for Wagner, calls her love “a rebirth, a deliverance,” and writes under a constant sense of guilt toward her husband that she never lost. The years at Tribschen bring the birth of Siegfried in June 1869, her divorce and her marriage to Wagner in the Protestant church at Lucerne on 25 August 1870, the Franco-Prussian War, the essay Beethoven and the completion of Siegfried. On her birthday that Christmas she woke to the Siegfried Idyll played on the staircase. Nietzsche first called on 17 May 1869 and became almost one of the family; his manuscript on the birth of tragedy arrived as a Christmas gift in 1870. Wagner’s remarks already circle the themes of his last years. Music, he said in November 1869, “is the direct product of Christianity, as is the saint,” and the next spring he described the Knight of the Grail as free because “he acts, not in his own behalf, but for others.” If anyone asked whether there was a God, he said in 1870, he would answer that at a moment when thousands are singing to him, “God is alive, he is there.”
Founding Bayreuth. In April 1871 the Wagners first saw Bayreuth; its baroque opera house “will not do for us at all; so we must build.” The foundation stone was laid in the rain on 22 May 1872, Wagner’s birthday, followed by the Ninth Symphony in the old opera house. The next four years are full of patrons, Wagner societies, singers, architects, concert tours and money. A royal loan in 1874 rescued the enterprise, and the family moved into Wahnfried that April. On 21 November 1874 Wagner finished the score of Götterdämmerung, a day Cosima remembered with tears, because he was hurt to find her reading a letter from her father at that moment. In between, Cosima converted to Protestantism on 31 October 1872 and took Communion with Wagner: “I felt as if our bond had only now been truly sealed.”
The first festival. The Ring was given complete for the first time in August 1876, before the German Emperor and much of musical Europe. The diaries record the mishaps as well as the triumph, and the exhaustion afterwards: looking back that November, Wagner said his main feeling during the performances had been “Never again, never again!” The festival left a large deficit, and the autumn in Italy brought two meetings that would shape the coming years: the last time the Wagners spent with Nietzsche, at Sorrento, and the first meeting with Count Arthur de Gobineau in Rome on 30 November.
The Parsifal years. Wagner began Parsifal in earnest in 1877 and finished the prose draft on 28 February (“The Redeemer unchained!” Cosima wrote) and the poem on 19 April. Composing the Communion scene that August, he told her that “this scene of Holy Communion will be the main scene, the core of the whole work.” The music grew slowly through 1878 and 1879 beside the founding of the Bayreuther Blätter, the regenerative essays and campaigns against vivisection, and the widening break with Nietzsche. In 1880 the family moved to Naples, where Paul von Joukowsky joined them as stage designer and the garden at Ravello suggested Klingsor’s magic garden; in Siena that August the cathedral moved Wagner to tears and became a model for the Temple of the Grail. That November he conducted the Prelude privately for King Ludwig in Munich. Gobineau stayed at Wahnfried in 1881, and Wagner read his books on race and on the Persians with growing enthusiasm. The score was finished in Palermo on 13 January 1882. “With this, as with all his other works,” Cosima wrote, “he had feared being interrupted by death.”
The premiere and Venice. Sixteen performances of Parsifal followed in July and August 1882, conducted by Hermann Levi. Wagner asked that the audience not call the singers out after the second act, rebuked a chorister for joking about the bread, and at the last performance took the baton himself for the end of the third act. The family then settled in the Palazzo Vendramin in Venice. The last months bring the news of Gobineau’s death, Liszt’s long visit, Hans von Bülow’s breakdown, and on Christmas Eve a performance at La Fenice of the symphony Wagner had written at nineteen, played as a birthday present to Cosima. He was weakened by repeated heart spasms, and he was still talking about writing symphonies and an essay on the feminine. The last entry, on 12 February 1883, ends with him at the piano playing the Rhinedaughters’ lament: “Extraordinary that I saw this so clearly at that time!”
Spirituality. The diaries are themselves partly a religious document. Cosima wrote under a sense of “unatonable guilt” toward Bülow and turned it into a discipline of renunciation. After her conversion she took Communion regularly, writing in 1873 that “the only true communion with people is before the altar,” and she read Meister Eckhart, Tauler, the Theologia Germanica and the Imitation of Christ (“Non sum! How dearly I should like to make that my motto!”). Her devotion to Wagner took the same form, and she wrote that in him she found “not my happiness, but my salvation.”
Wagner’s own faith was heterodox and he said so. Its foundation was Schopenhauer: “it was Schopenhauer who revealed Christianity to me,” he told Cosima in 1879. Through Schopenhauer came Buddhism and the Vedanta, which run through the diaries from first to last: the Buddhist drama Die Sieger, often planned and never written; the Brahmin saying “tat tvam asi,” which he spoke to Cosima at Christmas 1874; readings of the Bhagavad-Gita, the Upanishads and, in Venice, a new life of the Buddha. He set the two traditions side by side rather than choosing between them. Brahmanism was “the religion of intelligence,” but Christianity stood above it as “the religion of suffering.” Buddhism was “a flowering of the human spirit” with no church and no compulsion, and by studying the Buddha, he said in 1882, “one learns to understand Christianity.” Cosima put the difference in a sentence of her own: “Buddha does not move one, he teaches; Christ teaches by moving.”
At the centre stood Christ, kept apart from the church. “I do not believe in God, but in godliness, which is revealed in a Jesus without sin,” Wagner said in 1879, and he repeatedly complained that people “think only of the church and confuse this with Christianity.” In his last years he said that he recognized “no religion except compassion,” extended to animals as well as people, and this lay behind his vegetarian leanings and his fury at vivisection. Art was to carry what the churches had lost. “Art makes religions eternal,” he said in 1872; music was “the only possible church nowadays”; and in 1879 he gave the core of Religion and Art in a sentence, that religion should “influence ethics, and allow faith to be represented by art, which can transform illusion into truth.” “The path from religion to art bad, from art to religion good,” he noted in 1880.
Parsifal was where these ideas met, and the diaries show how carefully he guarded its tone. He called it “his most propitiatory work” and spoke of it as the dream vision of a rite, not the rite itself. He kept Christ off the stage on principle: “One cannot paint Christ, but one can portray him in music,” and to have Christ sung by a tenor was “a disgusting idea.” What he hoped for from his audience was less instruction than inward change, a recognition of suffering that leads to compassion and resignation. In December 1882 he said he would never again try to explain his ideas on the blood of Christ: “these are things one all of a sudden grasps.” Six weeks later, talking of Nature’s cruelty, he said it went on “until the appearance of the Saviour on the cross,” and added, “in the urge to put an end to the whole of Nature’s will to live.”
Nietzsche. The diaries hold the whole arc of the friendship. Nietzsche arrives in 1869 as a brilliant young professor who “knows R.’s works thoroughly,” spends holidays at Tribschen, writes The Birth of Tragedy under Wagner’s spell and stands beside him at the foundation stone. Cosima noticed early “a dubious streak” in him. The last meetings were at Sorrento in 1876. When Human, All Too Human arrived in April 1878, Wagner resolved not to read it, and by 1879 Cosima wrote that Nietzsche had “committed the one sin which cannot be atoned for, the sin against the Holy Ghost.” In later years Wagner spoke of him with contempt and some sorrow, as a promising mind that the modern world had ruined, while Cosima admitted that she could still remember only his friendly side.
Antisemitism. Hostile remarks about Jews by both Wagner and Cosima recur from the first year to the last, aimed at the press, critics, money, Meyerbeer and the modern theatre. In 1873 Wagner opposed intermarriage in racial terms, and the remarks grow harsher from 1879, when the antisemitic movement gathered in Berlin. That October, reading a speech by Adolf Stoecker, he was “in favor of expelling them entirely.” In December 1881, after the Ringtheater fire in Vienna, Cosima records him making “a drastic joke to the effect that all Jews should be burned at a performance of Nathan der Weise.” From 1881 Gobineau’s racial theories enter the conversation, though Wagner usually set Christianity against them; in June 1881 he was “downright explosive in favor of Christian theories in contrast to racial ones,” and that December he said that races were “done for, and all that can now make an impact is, as I have ventured to express it, the blood of Christ.” He also refused to sign the 1880 petition to Bismarck against the Jews, declined to let the Bayreuther Blätter join the agitation, and complained that nobody had noticed what Know Thyself said about “our own blame for our situation.”
The same diaries show Wagner depending on Jewish colleagues, above all Joseph Rubinstein, Angelo Neumann and Hermann Levi, and they show how that dependence was poisoned. In 1880 Wagner said he could not let Levi conduct Parsifal “unbaptized,” and in 1881 he told him he hoped to find “a formula which will make you feel completely one of us.” When an anonymous letter that summer made Levi ask to be released, Wagner wrote persuading him to return, and Levi conducted every performance in 1882 and was with the family in Venice in February 1883. One of the last entries records Wagner saying that “the Jews, the good ones,” were “condemned to a gently resigned asceticism.”
Because the diaries run to thousands of entries, the table below is a finding aid rather than a summary. Choose a year and month to browse, or search the entries, then open a day to read it in full.
| Date | Word Count | Subject |
|---|---|---|
| May 1, 1881 | 152 | The morning brings a fruitless dispute with Herr Neumann over Wagner's attendance at rehearsals, while Cosima receives a letter from Hans and writes back urging him to make room for Lusch in his life. On a sightseeing excursion Wagner is struck by the dispiriting character of the Berlin crowds and grows restless at being unable to work. A dinner at the Schleinitzes' is followed by the arrival of the celebrated Professor Helmholtz, whose conspicuous efforts to demonstrate friendship with Wagner leave both husband and wife amused; they return home tired and quietly sorrowful. |
| May 2, 1881 | 289 | Wagner arrives at the opera house in good humor, deflecting the orchestra's welcoming flourish with a sardonic joke, and the rehearsal of the first two acts of Walküre proceeds reasonably well, with the orchestra drawing genuine admiration. He is patient enough with Frau Vogl's mistimed stage business to correct it with a wry remark, though Scaria's Viennese cuts provoke sharper objections and revive memories of old frustrations. After the afternoon rehearsal of the third act, plagued by problems with machinery and lighting, the two return home quietly and are left to themselves before Lusch sweeps in with dull reports from a soiree at the Crown Prince's. |
| May 3, 1881 | 172 | The morning brings Lilli Lehmann for a discussion about the Flower Maidens, accompanied by light mockery of rival productions being mounted to compete with Wagner's own work. At the rehearsals, Wagner singles out conductor Seidl for warm praise while colorfully describing the tenor playing Mime as a "Jewish dwarf" whose performance is nevertheless excellent. An unauthorized cut by Scaria throws off Vogl and provokes Wagner into a furious outburst, setting off a scene of weeping and recrimination in the corridor, while Seidl alone keeps his composure. |
| May 4, 1881 | 129 | A piano rehearsal of Rheingold proves deeply dispiriting for Wagner, with poor staging, lighting, and scenery reminding him of his early struggles in Magdeburg decades earlier. The couple drives home in near silence, and the failed rehearsal weighs on the mood through a late supper, with Wagner unable to steer conversation away from the disappointment. |
| May 5, 1881 | 408 | Despite a rocky start with a missed rehearsal, the day turns triumphant as Wagner is recognized and warmly received at the museum and then greeted with enthusiastic applause at an outstanding Rheingold performance featuring Scaria as an excellent Wotan. The evening ends with champagne and exhausted satisfaction, though technical compromises like steam to mask scene changes left Wagner with lingering aesthetic frustrations. |
| May 6, 1881 | 260 | Wagner throws himself into staging the fight scene for Walküre with surprising physical energy despite a developing cold, alarming Cosima by leaping between proscenium boxes. The performance that evening is uneven, leaving Wagner drained and irritable by the curtain call, though moments of warmth — from a friendly policeman to an admiring liquor manufacturer — leaven the day. |
| May 7, 1881 | 114 | A sore throat forces Wagner to rest under doctor's orders, and the couple spends a quiet, tender day alone reading Gobineau and breakfasting together. News arrives of Hans von Bülow's emotional reunion with his daughter, and Wagner reflects with some guilt on the memory of their dog Schnauz. |
| May 8, 1881 | 147 | After a troubled night haunted by a dream of Siegfried falling faceless into an abyss, the day's anxieties are grimly confirmed when the tenor Jäger gives a disastrous performance as Siegfried, provoking hostile audience demonstrations. Wagner refuses to take a curtain call, and he acidly contrasts inadequate singers to materials — gold, silver, tin — before landing on the unacceptable: wood and leather. |
| May 9, 1881 | 172 | Wagner seeks out the tenor Niemann to take on the role of Siegmund, leaving a witty note when he finds him absent, while Gobineau's writings continue to stir thoughts about heroism and Christianity. The evening's Götterdämmerung moves both Wagner and Cosima deeply despite its theatrical shortcomings, and they sit together through the final pages in a moment of shared emotional intimacy. |
| May 10, 1881 | 169 | Wagner manages casting troubles by effectively dismissing Jäger and recruits a young hotel attendant whose manner charmed him, while social engagements include breakfast at the Schleinitzes and an artists' dinner that disappoints him. The evening closes with a gathering of distinguished guests before the couple departs by train at eleven with their daughter Lusch. |
| May 11, 1881 | 81 | The overnight train journey home is brightened by the melodic cry of a boy selling sausage rolls, a small pleasure that stays with them. Arriving to a warm homecoming — all the children, Gobineau, and Joukowsky — the reunion is crowned by Siegfried gazing at his father with radiant joy, though Wagner retires early from exhaustion. |
| May 12, 1881 | 109 | Refreshed after a good night, Wagner immerses himself happily in domestic and intellectual life, sitting for a portrait with Joukowsky while Gobineau reads aloud from his Amadis. The evening deepens into a rich exchange as Wagner plays the Parsifal Prelude and then spars affectionately with Gobineau over the etymology and meaning of the word "Gothic." |
| May 13, 1881 | 128 | Good news from Berlin about the Rheingold's success pleases Wagner, who marvels that such an imperfect production could triumph. A comic domestic dispute erupts at lunch when Cosima fails to recognize Wagner's lunch bell, and he playfully accuses her of preferring Chinese proverbs to her own husband; both end the day pleasantly worn out. |
| May 14, 1881 | 57 | Richard spends a restless, unwell day after dreaming of Cosima leaving him, though he rallies briefly in the afternoon to view a commissioned portrait, which impresses him despite initial skepticism about its technique. He retires early, and the day ends on a hopeful note with a favorable telegram about a Walküre production. |
| May 15, 1881 | 113 | Richard passes a restorative Sunday reading Gobineau and enjoying a long, leisurely afternoon in the garden with Count Gobineau, delighting in the greenery and swapping animal anecdotes. The evening turns literary as he reads aloud from his autobiography the passages on Bakunin, pleased that Cosima shares his satisfaction with what he wrote about that figure. |
| May 16, 1881 | 80 | After a restful night, Richard reads an admirably perceptive review of Die Walküre and delivers corrected proofs to Wolzogen, dropping in on Cosima and Lusch in the studio in high spirits. The evening brings genuine pleasure in the work, though there is a lingering, self-conscious worry that the informal circumstances could not have given Count Gobineau a fair sense of Götterdämmerung. |
| May 17, 1881 | 142 | Richard wakes from a vivid nightmare of Cosima's death, then struggles irritably with the appropriate salutation for a letter to the King. The afternoon improves considerably when the Bruckners and Herr Brandt present the stage maquettes for Parsifal's temple and Magic Garden, which meet with general satisfaction, and the evening closes with agreeable conversation about the absence of great French poets. |
| May 18, 1881 | 283 | Richard completes his letter to the King defending the stage painters with characteristic stubbornness and good humor, then tours the Festival Theater with Count Gobineau in a mood of cheerful pride. The evening brings a heated but ultimately good-natured argument between Richard and the Count over the Irish, English aristocracy, and the ethics of poverty, resolving with mutual affection and a wry acknowledgment of their differing temperaments. |
| May 19, 1881 | 137 | The day is colored by lingering amusement at the Count's stories of French military incompetence from the Franco-Prussian War, with Richard laughing again at an anecdote he had heard the night before. Over lunch the Count's accounts of Persian philosophy captivate the company, and the evening ends with his vivid descriptions of Athens sparking such enthusiasm that he promises to write ahead to arrange accommodation for a winter visit. |
| May 20, 1881 | 194 | A succession of small mishaps — a stubbed finger, missing ink, a bent pen — puts Richard in a foul mood that makes him doubt he will ever get back to his composing. He is further unsettled to discover that a portrait of Fidi has been altered without his approval, but Cosima later finds him in tears, moved by tender feelings for her, and the evening closes quietly with a reflection on Thomas à Kempis and the redemptive nature of suffering. |
| May 21, 1881 | 102 | Richard wakes laughing from another dream of Cosima departing, then finds himself amiably exiled from his own house as preparations for a secret birthday surprise and children's rehearsals fill every room. The arrival of the Standhartners brings warm memories of Vienna, and the evening passes in cheerful company as the Count elaborates his philosophical ideas to the assembled friends. |
| May 22, 1881 | 360 | Richard's birthday unfolds as an elaborate celebration, opening with a costumed Flower Greeting and heartfelt gifts, moving through a festive lunch and then an afternoon of children's theatrical performances — plays by Lope and Sachs, choral pieces, and a final "Kaisermarsch" — all organized with loving ingenuity. A military band and the unwanted presence of a guest he cannot bear cloud the evening, yet Cosima accepts the imperfections with hard-won equanimity, finding meaning in the image that all transient things are merely a reflection of something greater. |
| May 23, 1881 | 130 | The morning opens with the children's gleeful inventory of their father's twelve birthday surprises, a charming tally that sends both Richard and Cosima into laughter. His mood sours only at the forced farewell to a guest he dislikes, but after a late lunch he calls for the plays again, and the children's spirited reprise in the salon restores the festive spirit before the Ritters take their leave. |
| May 24, 1881 | 132 | Richard receives a telegram from Herr Neumann about attending the 4th cycle and resolves to go as a gesture of thanks to the children, brushing aside any hesitation with characteristic humor about spending money freely. The household erupts into frantic overnight preparations — a special train arranged, a saloon carriage reserved — and the entire party departs at one in the morning. |
| May 25, 1881 | 66 | After a lively and high-spirited overnight journey, the group arrives in Berlin and settles into the Hotel du Nord in time for an evening performance of Das Rheingold. Though a few moments cause Richard irritation, the cheerful sight of the children seated in a row together restores his good humor. |
| May 26, 1881 | 175 | A pleasant morning — warm letters from vegetarians and the King — is offset by Richard's anger at learning that ten thousand marks were withheld from receipts for press seats. The evening performance of Die Walküre drew mixed assessments, with some singers praised and others found wanting, and Richard's mounting frustration with production errors and the jostling crowd left the household in a tangled emotional state, compounded by worry over Lusch's distress. |
| May 27, 1881 | 147 | Cosima wakes disoriented and emotionally raw, overwhelmed by the social pressures of city life, and bursts into tears when Richard initially refuses to attend a breakfast gathering at the Countess's home. He ultimately relents and warms to the occasion, and the evening passes quietly, though Richard voices his exasperation that Wagnerian journalists lack the courage to advocate boldly for his cause. |
| May 28, 1881 | 114 | A morning of museum visits and a chance encounter with Siegfried sightseeing across Berlin give way to an afternoon performance of Siegfried that leaves Richard deeply disheartened — despite the audience's undiminished enthusiasm, the uneven execution makes him feel his confidence in his own work is being steadily undermined. His only real pleasure of the day comes from finishing the Count's book rather than anything experienced on the stage. |
| May 29, 1881 | 305 | A visit to their gravely ill friend Kathi Eckert — nearly paralyzed yet still able to whisper "Dear master" — casts a somber shadow over the day and prompts Cosima to reflect quietly on mortality and her own shortcomings as a mother. The evening's Götterdämmerung brought fresh agitation when Neumann staged an unwanted public ovation for Richard, though the couple managed to find laughter in the awkwardness on the journey home. |
| May 30, 1881 | 193 | Richard wakes through the night in agitation, and a mishap at the station causes him to miss the family's return from their Potsdam excursion, leaving him irritable. A pleasant dinner at the Countess's gives way to an evening of mounting tension as Neumann's second letter arrives demanding a public theatrical gesture from Richard, before the party finally departs Berlin at eleven in a comfortable saloon carriage, the Count showing quiet consideration for the children throughout. |
| May 31, 1881 | 168 | The return to Wahnfried brings immediate relief — the beautiful garden, sound sleep, and familiar domesticity offering a vivid contrast to Berlin's exhausting social whirl. Gentle days follow, spent reading in the summerhouse and ranging across topics from lyric poetry to the Italian language, with Richard observing that watching a drama together is among the most humanizing of shared experiences. |
| No diary entries found. | ||