Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of May 1, 1881

Overview

The morning brings a fruitless dispute with Herr Neumann over Wagner's attendance at rehearsals, while Cosima receives a letter from Hans and writes back urging him to make room for Lusch in his life. On a sightseeing excursion Wagner is struck by the dispiriting character of the Berlin crowds and grows restless at being unable to work. A dinner at the Schleinitzes' is followed by the arrival of the celebrated Professor Helmholtz, whose conspicuous efforts to demonstrate friendship with Wagner leave both husband and wife amused; they return home tired and quietly sorrowful.

Content

Sunday, May 1:

In the morning Herr Neumann does not wish R. to attend the rehearsals; discussion concerning London, no result. A letter to me from Hans! I reply to him and ask him to allow his daughter a share in his life. I ask R. to show a little consideration toward Lusch; he says I am right.

We pay calls, distinguished ones today. R. waits in the carriage, but he takes us to the Passage to see the waxwork figure of Beaconsfield (Rausch). He gets a very dismal impression of the people here, mongrels, and is despondent at not being able to start work.

In the evening dinner at the Schleinitzes’ again, after which the Helmholtzes arrive, and the famous professor goes to the most obvious lengths to demonstrate that R. is his friend. Afterward we drive around a little, we are both tired, R. and I, also sad, I deeply, oh, so deeply!