O you poor good Wife,
Ah, and your poor stupid husband! Even at Baden I wished to turn back; then at Basle, — and most of all here in Paris! My home-sickness is scarce to be conquered, and it's probably that which is making me quite ill. — Not till 11 o'clock on Tuesday night did I get to my hotel; I took a back bedroom in the Hotel Montmorency for sake of the quiet boulevard: sleep wasn't to be thought of that night (any more than in the coach on the preceding one)! Yesterday I felt so bad, in consequence, that a resumption of my journey on Thursday was quite out of the question; and as I durst not go to London on a Friday, I suppose it will be Saturday before I reach my destination. I passed the whole day yesterday trying to sleep; I didn't go out till late, didn't find Kietz in, and mean to look him up to-day. Last night was rather better. Ah, if only I were at least back at my work, from which I've been withheld so long! Really, all I care about in London is the hope of getting back to work there very soon. —
I feel as in a dream; not a thought can I grasp, except the thought that my going to London is in fact an awful sacrifice! —
And you, poor woman, are left alone again! Hold me tight another time, that I don't get carried off again! Yes, I'm sorry for you as well: you will have to do your best with Beaky; Peps will hardly be of much assistance. Ach, Ach, Ach!! — Now I'll go and hunt up my Parisians; perhaps I shall write you more sensibly tomorrow. To-day I'm still quite sleep-starved and upset; you know that nasty feeling! —
Farewell, dear good Wife! Be tranquil, and reflect: "God knows the good it may lead to!" That's what I mean to think myself, and see how far I get with it! Heartiest greetings to our friends; I hadn't time to telegraph at Basle, or I should have sent you another Adieu.
Adieu, console yourself as well as you're able, and — wish me better humour too!
Lord, if I had to conduct to-day! I'm only glad I've hardly promised anything as yet, and particularly nothing from Tannhäuser!
Farewell, and hold me thoroughly dear for once!!
Thy Richel.
Source: Richard to Minna Wagner: Letters to His First Wife, trans. William Ashton Ellis, Vol. 1 (H. Grevel & Co., 1909), No. 75