Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of October 5, 1877

Overview

Negotiations with Dr. Strecker continued, and the debt problem cast a dark mood over the household. R. kept working on school matters and the evening still had a sense of hope because his labor continued, even as the family braced for sacrifices.

Content

Friday, October 5:

Morning negotiations with Dr. Strecker! Oh, if only this debt did not exist! I shall probably have to surrender the Idyll to extricate us. Deep melancholy.

R. in correspondence about the school. K. Klindworth cannot come. Faint hopes. However, R. is working, and so our life is bathed in sunshine.

All the rest I call the fight for nonexistence; we conduct this in order to win ourselves the boon of not existing, in the usual sense. He is busy with the laide demoiselle, as Kundry is called in Chretien de Troyes.