Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of February 2, 1877

Overview

The night is spent in sorrow and restless thoughts, with grief over the friend’s death and memories of family and sacred milestones weighing heavily. The mourning is mirrored by funeral preparations and the tolling bell, and by late afternoon the writer seeks comfort in the garden at sunset. A strange apologetic letter from Rubinstein arrives near the end of the day.

Content

Friday, February 2:

Wretched night, filled with heavy thoughts. Work with the children, Siegfried carries wreaths and palm leaves to the mortuary; thinking of our friend, Daniela's confirmation, my conversion, sacred memories, yet at the same time Hans constantly in my mind; overcome with grief, I collapse and fall into a heavy sleep (the sleep of Kundry, says R.). R. goes into the garden and hears the bell tolling for the funeral. I wake up at about four o'clock, wander in the garden, watch the setting sun, and in tears beg it to greet our old friend.

Herr Rubinstein writes a curious letter, asking forgiveness for his behavior last fall!