Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of July 23, 1873

Overview

The day was spent in household care and attending to the children while R. worked and remained generally well. Workers began on the burial vault, and a walk back through the meadows at sunset prompted deep reflection. The writer accepts even the prospect of hardship for the children as part of life. Despite that acceptance, she notes how hard it is to preserve outward cheerfulness and how strongly the struggle for it is felt.

Content

Wednesday, July 23:

Occupied with the children and the house. R. works and is on the whole well. The people are now working on our burial vault.

R. goes to the Riedelsberg to discuss the roof-raising ceremony. I accompany him part of the way and return home through the meadows in a lovely sunset.

Deep reflection as I walk. I believe no monk could be more detached from things than I am. I even thought of a heavy lot for the children in the future and accepted it, for thus it is, and we cannot take away the cup, either for ourselves or those near us. Curious how cheerful one remains in spite of it all, at least to outward appearances; but the struggle to retain this cheerfulness is often very violent. One’s wings droop, and one longs for rest.