Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of September 3, 1872

Overview

The narrator spent the day with her father in the Hofgartnerei, but his increasing weariness deeply upset her. A series of visits and a small evening gathering could not dispel her sadness, though his playing of pieces by Wagner and Liszt brought moments of beauty. By night she was overwhelmed enough to cry, especially after sensing the tragedy underlying his life.

Content

Tuesday, September 3:

Visited my father during the morning in the pretty Hofgartnerei; lunched with him and R. at one o'clock, then unfortunately many people. Before lunch, visited Frau von Meyendorff with him. We part just before 5 o'clock, to meet at his house again in the evening, with the Loens, whom we visited in the morning, and Frau von Meyendorff. That is a lot for such recluses as ourselves.

The best of it was that my father played me Am stillen Herd and the Liebestod. I am terribly upset by my father's weariness of soul. In the evening, when he scarcely spoke and I related all sorts of things, and R., in order to do his bit toward sustaining a cheerful atmosphere, jokingly disputed with Baron Loen about his, R.'s, supposed popularity, I saw the tragedy of my father's life as in a vision. During the night I shed many tears.

Early in the morning my father had sent me roses from the Court gardens. Telegram from the children that all is well with them.