[...] I am very tired, and am suffering from what I have been through. Now that the excitement has passed, the pain begins, as with wounds. It will not be so soon as you might think that I shall be at my art again. I am still amazed at the idea of what my state would have been now if this unexpected event had not befallen me, for everything which I thought I might hope for has, and would have, failed me disastrously! I think of that now and shudder.—My loneliness is terrible. I can only dwell with this young King as if on the highest mountain summit. My forlorn domestic life and the need for seeing myself to matters which I was never made for, cripple my spirits. I have just had to move again and set up house and worry over knives and forks, dishes and saucepans, bed-linen, etc. I, the glorifier of women! How kindly they reward me by leaving me their business to see to!—
Dearest friend, the most beautiful thing in your beautiful letter is the intimation of your visit! [...]
Yesterday Frau von Bülow arrived with two children and a nursemaid; her husband will follow. That cheers things a little, but I am so perverse that nothing makes the right impression on me any more. Perhaps it is only the bad weather that is to blame. [...]
Source: Letters of Richard Wagner, Vol. 2, selected and ed. Wilhelm Altmann, trans. M. M. Bozman (J. M. Dent & Sons, 1927), No. 587