[...] Recent heart-shattering experiences have made me more than ever negative in my attitude to the world; I feel almost entirely detached now from all wishes and desires. Only I should still prefer to condemn others to suffering as little as may be; when I know that their griefs are growing less, mine too will disappear. Events tell me clearly and decisively what I ought to do, so I shall never vacillate more; if I were not an artist I could become a saint; but this way of salvation is not destined for me. [...]
Probably Cosima will soon learn now what misery it is to exist and what is the only way of deliverance. One day, one hour can ripen more than years. As to myself I merely wonder that my hair has kept any of its colour. There were moments when I felt as if I must have become a very old man!—
My poor wife has had a hard time, yet it seems as though the trouble and labour of moving house, which the foolish woman was determined not to spare herself, have supported her. She is at present with her relatives at Zwickau where at least she enjoys peace and comfort; [...]
Source: Letters of Richard Wagner, Vol. 2, selected and ed. Wilhelm Altmann, trans. M. M. Bozman (J. M. Dent & Sons, 1927), No. 366