To-day I will add what may be necessary to the few lines I sent lately: I have not much news.
For nearly four weeks I have been on a journey to which I had long looked forward as to the realization of a beautiful dream. I had many an impression that was pleasing enough, taken by itself; but I was always seeking after the right one, and I could not find rest. It is all over; I have lost my youth; life no longer stands before me; all my working and doing is only now a protracted death. I have learnt much during this journey. But I will spare you; why describe things which will not bear description?
I have returned from my journey with one resolve: as I can now only lead an artificial life — i.e., a life for art — I will thoroughly do everything which can keep me artificially on end. I now so ardently long to have a little house with a garden, here in the country, far up on the heights by the lake, to look after my little property, to surround myself with flowers and animals, and to set up a cosy nook where friends may visit me, that I intend to carry this out at any cost. It is an undertaking which I now feel compelled to carry out, and when I survey my outward circumstances, I have reason to hope that it will prove successful. There is no longer any doubt that in the immediate future I may look for substantial receipts from my operas. Were I to wait till I had saved up the sum necessary to purchase an estate, this — considering the state of my health — would be folly: the "too late" would, in my case, prove terribly true; and, besides, there would be the danger of never being able to collect the entire sum, as I should probably fritter away the money in other directions. I am therefore resolved — and have already spoken on the matter with my Swiss friends here — to advertise at once for a suitable small estate, the price of which should not exceed 10,000 francs.
As soon as I can pay down a deposit of 2,000 francs the matter can be settled: out of my future receipts I could pay the interest on the sum remaining, and also gradually wipe off the capital debt. In any case, even for the deposit money, I might well count upon the assistance of a friendly hand.
When I reflect that my wife and I shall one day die childless, and therefore a heritable property will be of no value or use to us, I should much prefer if some one could be found who would lend me the whole purchase-money, upon the security of the estate, on the condition that after my and my wife's deaths it should revert to him or his, embellished and enriched by my care and at my cost. I could then employ my expected receipts in a still pleasanter enjoyment of life, in travelling, etc. That such a person could be found is not lightly to be expected, and in any case I will not count upon it.
(A letter has just come from you: I will read it first.)
Best thanks for this letter, and its good humour in spite of your indisposition! (What is the matter with you, you water-man, that you become ailing of a sudden? Set my mind at rest on the matter!) To settle "business," only the following brief lines!
I do not yet know how matters stand with Berlin: I have demanded an honorarium of 1,000 thalers, assigning good reasons for my demand, and have given them clearly to understand that I will not prostitute myself again for Berlin at such a cheap rate. Probably they will decline: I must risk it. If I accomplish anything, it can only be by terrorism. Make my excuses to Heine for not writing to him. In order to satisfy him I require to be very expansive; and my repugnance to all such empty scribbling is now frightful. To D. also it is impossible for me to write just now. Thank Heine in my name for his information: it will probably not prove so incorrect! If it should still come to a definite acceptance, I will carefully see about the allotment of rôles. You will probably hear something definite from W.: do not give him the designs without the money! S. has kept quite quiet: I have given him a sound scolding, and warned him that by the next post I expect either the news that the score has been sent back to you, or the honorarium, with the assurance that the Dresden designs will be procured. This is my last word; there is an end to good-nature.
The Moritz had long since written to me that she was trying to get Tannhäuser played in Breslau; so that I was not surprised at your news about the director there.
You did what was right about the score. So far as I know, Seidelmann is a conscientious man, who certainly had good reasons if he asked to look at the score.
You can also conclude in my name with the director Reimann: I. An honorarium of twenty Friedrichs d'or, to be sent to you or to me immediately on the declaration of acceptance; II. An undertaking to arrange the scenery and costumes according to the Dresden designs, which can be had through you for seventeen thalers.
It seems that the Düsseldorfers really have a good orchestra: see if you can get eighteen louis d'or from Kramer, and, if not, let him have the score for ten louis d'or. (But to be paid immediately on receipt of the same — to you or to me, 'tis no matter which.) See if you can further manage to make Kramer procure the designs from you: but that must not be made a sine qua non.
It is possible you may also receive a demand for Tannhäuser from Prague: if so, then the same conditions as for Breslau, to which I shall have to keep for all theatres of second rank: I see well that I cannot ask higher.
There! you will have your hands full!
On my return, B.'s paper made me quite sad again. I wrote at once that Brendel should be asked whether he might not want letters from me on the formation of the Alps. Great heavens! What articles this paper ought to contain, if there were only a trace of comprehension of the task it had to accomplish! Your reviews are always excellent, and edify me; but, good God! what a heap of work there is to be done, if one would only take in hand the right stuff, which is never once offered, with all this reviewing.
I wish you would send a line or two to your friends, at your leisure, begging them to be more prudent in lending my manuscript of Young Siegfried. I actually read lately in the Kreuzzeitung a joke about the dragon (Lindwurm) Fafner! Such experiences make me extremely averse to carry out my intention of distributing copies of the whole poem among my friends. When an opportunity offers, do see that the Dresden score goes to Weimar for correction: this is of the highest importance to me!
As regards friendship, I grant you are right, and certainly in the Cause you are right; I am only sorry that in this matter there is any question of right! You must not discuss theory with me any more; it drives me clean crazy to have to do with such matters. The nerves of my brain! there's the bother! I have cruelly taxed them: it is possible I may yet one day go mad!
But one line more, in conclusion: if there is one thing about which I rejoice, it is your visit for next year! See betimes about leave of absence: the rest, I hope, you will leave to my care!
Farewell! Take care of your health, and hearty thanks for all your friendship! Best greetings from my wife.
Your
R. W.
P.S. I also have been thinking of the full close of Tannhäuser for Berlin: so get Wölfel to add the complete ending with the Pilgrims' song, exactly as you meant.
Source: Richard Wagner's Letters to His Dresden Friends, Theodor Uhlig, Wilhelm Fischer, and Ferdinand Heine, trans. J. S. Shedlock (Scribner & Welford, 1890), No. 72