Oh, my dear, kind creature,
How your letter touched me!
I really have no other perception of all that has happened, except the regret that I did not show sufficient gratitude towards you of all people! Otherwise I feel only a dull pain in my soul. When my horses were led away yesterday, I burst into tears! - We are thinking of leaving for Italy in 8 days’ time. But I wouldn’t like to embark upon anything similar straightaway; the King tried to force us into giving a 4th performance at the end of the month, but of course I had to turn him down.
There is so much that we shall have to put right next year; I hope that most of the performers will be willing to work towards my goal of achieving an increasingly correct production. Only Betz casts a wholly repugnant shadow upon my memory! The wretch even went so far as to make fun of his part, more especially at the beginning of the last performance of the Valkyrie. I have been thinking more and more about the reasons for his behaviour, and am increasingly confirmed in my belief that he was annoyed at not being allowed to take any curtain calls! I had already suspected as much, and questioned him on the subject, whereupon he replied with a dismissive smile to the effect that “he and Niemann scarcely ever went out in front of the curtain in search of applause!” How deceitful and false these gentlemen mostly are! -
Well, I think I shall have to take steps to replace him as Wotan next year, since he tells me that in no circumstances would he ever again return to Bayreuth. - What is your own opinion, my dear? -
For the rest, I do not care to concern myself overmuch with the future, it already weighs heavily enough on my soul! -
And yet - and yet - you, my dearest creature, and - let us not forget your sisters, - oh, how brightly you still shine before me, how truly transfigured! Never shall I forget the tremendous force of your prophecy of Siegfried’s death! -
And so, may the gods preserve all that is best: thus do I greet you, dear Lilli, from the very depths of my heart as
Your most truly grateful debtor,
Richard Wagner
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 443