My dear Hans,
And so the most remarkable month of May of my entire life has come to an end! A year earlier and it would have been marvellously in keeping with the age of “Jupiter” that I had then reached. All that I experienced during this time is utterly beyond compare: the contrasts put me in mind of one of those storms whose most stiflingly oppressive climax is suddenly followed by its complete opposite. This is something you will soon discover for yourself in person: let me say now only that a world has perished behind me, and that, in all truth, I see myself as having died, so that I now think of myself as a departed spirit who no longer has anything really in common with that former world. -
[...] Indeed, my dear Hans, I died a Christian: but, as the price of dying a Christian, I still have a number of vows to fulfil; they alone still bind me to the earth. They are as follows:
1864 Summer (during the Court’s period of mourning) “Scenes from the Nibelungs” at the piano, with H. v. Bülow.
Late autumn, “Grand Concert of fragments from my works.”
1865 Spring. Tristan and Isolde (with Schnorr & Tietjens).
Beginning of winter. Mastersingers.
1866 Tannhäuser (new) Lohengrin (complete) with Schnorr etc.
1867-68 Grand performance of the entire “Ring of the Nibelung.”
1869-70 “The Victors”. -
1871-72 “Parzival!”
1873 Final beautiful death and redemption of the votary.
And so, tell them, one and all, high and low, to expect no more of me, - I’ll be finished! -
That’s how it is, my Hans! Since you intend coming here soon, you will see my young King for yourself, and make his acquaintance.
You will soon know for certain what no description or assurance of mine could make you believe. There is something godlike about him, something undreamt-of, something incomparably and gloriously beautiful that has come true and entered my life. No one can understand this because it has never happened before: for - in truth: - I alone could have been favoured in this way. I have created this miracle, with my very own yearning and suffering, and a queen had to give birth to this son for me. - Well, you will get to know him for yourself! -
But I shall send you a portrait of him. He is my genius incarnate whom I see beside me and whom I can love. -
My dear Hans, do not torment yourself thus throughout the summer! I beg you! - You can stay with me and live here as long as you wish, and it won’t cost you a penny. My domestic arrangements are such that you won’t disturb me for a moment. Your travelling expenses etc. will be fully reimbursed, at all events (or, rather, made good); I, too, still owe you some money, which you can collect while you are here.
I entreat you not to think of Wiesbaden, and other jokes like it. Remain here, enjoy a complete rest, and - if you must - exorcize the spirit of Karlsruhe afterwards: ultimately, I should be glad to see you go there, since I still believe that the Grand Duke - if he is finally to achieve anything at all - ought at least to offer you the sort of position you deserve. But it would also be good if you were to remain here as performer to my young King: for we are resolved to create our own intimate world here, away from the theatre and the venal world of public music-making. - Well, this, too, can be discussed later: I wanted only to persuade you in advance not to defile yourself by giving concerts at a time when you ought to be convalescing. Do as I say! -
Schott still hasn’t engraved anything. If you want, I can send you the old arrangement of the Valkyrie (which you already know): but do not be so concerned about your own “achievement” - heavens above! -
Adieu, my dear Hans! Write again soon. And tell Cosmus to write for a change. Next year, when the Mastersingers is finished, & Tristan has been performed, we shall all do something nice together, in order to enjoy ourselves and relax! The Bechstein I find thoroughly sympathetic, believe me! - Adieu, my dear Hans!
Cordially yours,
R.W.
Give Liszt my best wishes & tell him that hearing from his Grand Duke makes me physically ill, as though from some ducal Saxon Swedish punch! - But this is all in the past! Dingelstedt has it in black and white!
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 303