[...] - For me the “world’s” last song has faded into silence.
And do you know what - to my renewed boast - has once again confirmed me in this frame of mind?? It was your essay on the flying Dutchman. In these articles I have finally rediscovered myself with the utmost clarity, and recognized that we have nothing in common with this world. For who was there who understood me?? - You - and no one else! And who now understands you? I - and no one else! You can be certain of that. It was you who, for the first and only time, revealed to me the joy of being completely understood: you see, I have been totally consumed by you, there is not a single fibre of my being, nor even the slightest quivering of my heart-strings which you yourself have not also felt. But now I see that only this is true understanding, whereas everything else is pure misunderstanding, a tasteless and unedifying error. But what is there left for me to do now that I have found this out? And what use do you still have of me now that you have found this out about me! Let me, as a dear friend, shed a womanly tear in my joy - but what then? - Oh, let us not mutilate ourselves like this: let us treat the world only with contempt; for it deserves no better: but let no hopes be placed in it, that our hearts be not deluded! It is evil, evil, fundamentally evil, only the heart of a friend and a woman’s tears can redeem it from its curse. - But nor can we respect it like this, and certainly in nothing that resembles honour, fame - or whatever else these foolish things are called. - It belongs to Alberich: no one else!! Away with it! Enough - you now know my present mood: it is not a passing whim: it is as firm and solid as a diamond. It is this alone that gives me the strength to continue dragging life’s burden after me: but I must henceforth be implacable. I hate all appearances with lethal fury: I’ll have no truck with hope, since it is a form of self-lying. But - I shall work - you shall have my scores: they will belong to us, and to no one else. That is enough. -
Do you now have the Rhinegold?
I am in the second act of the Valkyrie: Wodan and Fricka: as you can see, it is bound to succeed. -
Fare you well! - Will you write to my wife?
Cordial greetings! - (I can no longer read what other people write. All that I can still read is your Dutchman essay: that is my life’s reward, and its boast!) Fare you well!
Yours,
R. W.
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 175