Thursday, February 25:
Richard dreamed that we were married, I wandered in a white satin robe, as in Terburg, through our roomy, well-furnished house and showed him Eva in a corner. I am dismayed, in view of this, to have had thoughts of death again during the night.
But I am in good spirits; continuing to ink in the score gives me great pleasure, to follow in his footsteps like this!
In the afternoon, however, I learn that he is suffering, and he does not look well. So then I have to summon all my spiritual strength and comfort him. He does not go into town, we walk with the children in the garden.
Then he gets the children to dance. God grant him a good night, this I now beseech on bended knees and feel that I could never bring myself to part from him. He said today he believes we shall still be happy, he feels that up till now he has really been pampered, for nothing he had so far experienced in life has ever touched a vital nerve. A parting from me, however, would spell his death.
Oh, may he sleep gently! In the afternoon, while half asleep, I saw the children again and wept copiously.
Today I told R. that I have never really heard his Lohengrin Prelude, for with the very first notes I have always been gripped by such an ecstasy that I do not hear this miracle like other music, but experience it like a vision.