Sunday, June 5:
Difficult, tortured night, in my heart I am always reflecting on the offense I have given, and immersing myself in it, knowing no other way to atone for it.
Letter from the music dealer Kahnt about the publication, but so petty and underhanded that R. does not intend to reply to him. R. today finishes the pencil sketch of the first act of Götterdämmerung. But he says the thought of completing it “in ink” makes him shudder.
Lunch with the children. Afterward the children play at cooking dinner, mashing and splashing. R. plays through his Götterdämmerung sketches and complains at having to live so completely without music, but then on reflection decides that he could not listen to music in the way it is done today, he would have to perform it himself, and that in turn would put a stop to his creating.
In the evening finished The Taming.
Memories of last year!