Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of December 14, 1869

Overview

Sleeplessness and thoughts of death lead Cosima to consider Schiller as a bridge toward musical drama. She works with the children, shops for Christmas, and gilds nuts while Richard reads Tristram Shandy. Loulou's stubbornness worries her, but she bears earthly censure by trusting that higher beings love her.

Content

Tuesday, December 14:

Constant wretched nights, thoughts of my death. Then considered Schiller, how after his works there could only be musical drama, to which he, as it were, forms the bridge. Worked with the children. After lunch made Christmas purchases.

In the evening gilded nuts while R. read out Tristram Shandy. Loulou causes me concern with her very stubborn behavior.

Curious: when I think of this world and its people, I feel there could not be too much censure and ill usage for me, but when I think of higher worlds and higher beings, there I know I am loved. The malice here below I gladly bear.