Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of December 20, 1877

Overview

He felt unwell and dissatisfied with his work, unable to settle into his usual confidence. His remark about being in a rhythmic struggle captured how disoriented he felt that morning. She worried through the evening, while they also laughed at MacMahon's dramatic speech about honor and duty.

Content

Thursday, December 20:

R. does not feel very well. He tries to work but is not satisfied with what he does. He does not go out, but he has a good appetite in the evening; he laughs over it and says: “If you knew what is bothering me! It is a rhythmical battle. This morning I suddenly understood none of my things.”

In the evening we read the history of the Arabs. Early to bed. I struggle with feelings of alarm, which always assail me when R. is not quite well. We joke a lot about MacMahon, who declares amid tears that people wish to take away his honor, which he would sacrifice for the well-being of his country!