Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of February 10, 1877

Overview

A sleepless night leaves the writer feeling mentally overwhelmed and afraid of losing control, though exercise is blamed as the likely cause. Despite this, the children’s lessons still happen. R. is meanwhile driven by his composition, repeatedly interrupting the day to add to the sketch, but the miserable rain and wind prevent any walk.

Content

Saturday, February 10:

I had a very bad night, in which I thought I had lost my wits; my thoughts got into such a state of confusion in my sleeplessness that I felt I should have to enter a lunatic asylum. A strange state of mind! I think lack of exercise caused it. All this along with the thoughts that never leave me! Nevertheless, I gave the children their lessons.

R. comes to me around [time left blank] and tells me that, three times as he was dressing, he broke off to run upstairs and write additions to his sketch; he also runs upstairs at lunch to write down Klingsor to Kundry: Was fragst du mich, verworfenes Weib? I should like to take a long walk, but have to give up the idea, since the weather - rain and wind - is frightful.