Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of June 20, 1875

Overview

Waking in better spirits, she hears R. confess that life feels empty when she is away, a sentiment that gives the day an intimate warmth. She spends most of it writing letters and listening to R.’s worries over filling the hall, while the evening with friends and Berlioz is still shadowed by the persistent absurdity of hosting so many guests.

Content

Sunday, June 20:

Good awakening. R. tells me that he does not really live at all when I am not there; nothing has any meaning, he did not even have the gas lit.

I write the better part of 10 letters during the day; R. has many inquiries from Americans and is reckoning on these to fill his hall in the end. Nothing for the Germans to be proud of!

In the evening some friends, went through Berlioz’s Le bal. The guesthouse problem constantly in our minds. When our guests have left, R. says that, no matter what people come, it always seems to him absurd to receive them.