Sunday, May 18:
R. is concerned about what happened yesterday, says he feels stunned, he is not worthy of me, I am too good, and others meeting all you people who are making it possible for me to celebrate in my own manner a day that is sacred to me. I have heard of the excellent quality of your achievements, but before expressing to you my joy at these achievements, I wish to thank you for your good will, which has instilled in you a fine desire for regular and diligent study. I must remain in your debt, for I should find it difficult to oblige you to the same extent that you oblige me. May the success of the celebrations be the noble reward for your friendly deeds!”
Returning home, I find R. working. The good mayor visits us; we discuss the articles which were sent to us, and R. observes that the best thing would be for the state to keep clear of debt like Switzerland and always to impose taxes when anything was needed; were the national debt to cease to exist, the Jews would also be finished. Severe thunderstorm, R. plays Götterdämmerung, Fidi’s noise on top of it. (Wilhelmj difficulties for me!) In the evening concluded Winter’s Tale, great admiration for its artistic structure.
Monday, May 19:
I am still not well, but have too much to do to think about it. Great difficulty in getting R. out of the way, particularly for the rehearsal in the evening; Feustel takes care of the invitation. This rehearsal leaves a bad impression. Horribly constructed orchestra, though the people do not neglect to remark, as everywhere else, “According to R. Wagner’s views.” R. went to the Riedelsberg before evening, the way was difficult to find, he called from far off to a peasant woman, who answered him in detail in a friendly manner; he thanked her and she replied, “Well, one can surely do R. Wagner a favor.” This pleases R.
Much concerning the work he wishes to write about the Germans, his legacy and his hope. “Let’s be glad that we speak French badly, but speak it. To speak it well would mean to submit, not to speak it at all would put us on a level with the nations who stand out perhaps only on account of their curious trousers.” “Julius Caesar dying in Greek reminds one of Frederick the Great, who in his last embrace with M. de Ziethen perhaps spoke French.” When R. was in his own room and already lying in bed, he called out to me, “Oh, if I did not have you, if I did not have a home to return to, whether I’m coming from a middle-class or from an elegant house-what nothingness!” Fidi must regard it as a sacred duty to make do with the house and an income of 1,200 thalers, so that he can remain a free man.
R. explained to Feustel the importance of classical studies, of which such circles have not the slightest idea.