Wednesday, February 5:
Notification of the proceeds of the concert-5,400 thalers, which pleases R. very much. We devote today to rest, though we do not succeed, since R., paying calls, finds everyone at home; a Count Solms plays him his newest polka, etc. But he indulged his main passion and went to the antiquarian’s, where he bought several books.
For me the whole day is brightened by the remark he made to me at breakfast, when we were talking about the Prelude to Tristan and he said that this prelude, together with the postlude, express the whole will in its longing and resolution (the modulation to E major); no escape from the longings of individuality except in death!
After the concert yesterday he tells me that during “Wotan’s Farewell” (at the words “wenn Helden Lob aus kindischen Lippen floss”), he turned to look at me, saw me sitting in Frau von Schl.’s box completely absorbed, his eyes filled with tears, and he suddenly noticed from the violins that his beat had gone astray-“I nearly upset everything.”
Dinner with Frau von Schleinitz, the minister absent, so just Marie Much., and ourselves, and afterward Frau von Meyend. R. plays and sings a few things from Götterdämmerung and “Siegmund’s Narration” from Die Walküre. Late in the evening Dohm visits us and we talk about all kinds of things.