Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of December 20, 1872

Overview

Eva is still confined to bed, and the doctor warns that Fidi’s unusually large forehead is a sign to let him sleep as much as possible. News arrives that Berlin may have to be dropped from the plan after Marie Schleinitz fails to move von Hülsen, while Feustel reports that the Viennese supporters still have not paid and the finances are too thin to trust. The evening turns unexpectedly moving when Fidi tells the story of his life, revealing that he too was born out of wedlock.

Content

Friday, December 20:

Evchen still in bed, and Fidi’s enormous forehead alarming us; the doctor advises us to make sure he sleeps a lot. Letter from Marie Schleinitz: she has not been able to do anything with Herr von Hülsen; he thinks R. would condemn everything in Berlin, which would undermine his, Hülsen’s, authority, and that he cannot allow. It looks as if we shall now have to leave Berlin out.

Letter from Herr von Gersdorff, informing us of the death of his brother. Visit from Feustel: the people in Vienna have not yet paid up! There are now only 50,000 florins in the bank, and Feustel declares he cannot complete the contracts with the workers on the strength of this sum, not knowing what might still come in. We agree that complete honesty must be shown all around, and if by April there is not as much in hand as is necessary, the whole undertaking must be put off for a year.

At supper F. tells us the remarkable story of his life, which touches us very much; he, too, is a love child.