Wednesday, June 2:
Saint Blandina, previously a festival day for me! Loldi very restless in the night; I weeping and trying to get a grip on myself. R. writes to Hans that he has decided to visit him if Hans wishes it, and in the meantime expects from him only that, before surrendering the work to the disgrace of such a performance, he should demand his dismissal.
The weather is nice, so I can let the children amuse themselves in the garden and keep my deathly feelings concealed from them. I lie down at last and go to sleep. R. comes to my room and guards my sleep; he reads his uncle's book and then at lunch tells me what he has read. Never before have I striven so hard to conceal my feelings.
After lunch with the children to their piano lesson. With Countess B[assenheim] I can scarcely collect my thoughts. When I meet R., we no longer speak about what is alone in our minds. In the evening some reading: Ad[olph] Wagner on the three aspects of Dante's poetry: Inferno, sculpture; Purgatorio, painting; Paradiso, music. Sadly to bed.