Tuesday, June 1:
How shall I write down this terrible day? In the morning I worked with the children; it did in fact strike me that R. did not go to his Siegfried and seemed sad, but I did not ask him why.
In the evening he told me he had the day before received a letter from Hans and was wrestling with himself over whether he should go to him. The King has commanded Tristan after all, with the two Vogls, a veritable disgrace! Now Hans has to conduct the rehearsals; this upsets his nerves, and he begs R. to help him secure his release. The letter is pitiable, and I wish he would go. R. feels nothing good can come of the meeting and is resisting.
Very early evening; who, having lived through such hours, could still fear death?