Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of October 17, 1872

Overview

Her father is deeply troubled by Princess Wittgenstein's pressure to break with Wagner and by the emotional strain of being pulled between loyalty and criticism. She is distressed on his behalf, and R. takes offense at being left alone so long, leaving a slight chill between the couple for the rest of the day. A drive nearly ends in disaster when the carriage overturns in a ditch, but the mishap is eventually turned into laughter, and the clerk Hoffmann returns at last with the money order and contract settled.

Content

Thursday, October 17:

Long talk with my father. Princess Wittgenstein is tormenting him on our account: he should flee from Wagner’s influence, artistic as well as moral; should not see me again; his self-respect demands this; we murdered Hans from a moral point of view, etc.

I am very upset that my father should be tormented like this. He is so tired and is always being so torn about! Particularly this wretched woman in Rome has never done anything but goad him, but he does not intend to give me and us up. This conversation keeps me long at my father’s side, and unfortunately R. is offended by my leaving him alone so long; I do not find it easy to ask his pardon, and a slight shadow of discord persists between us all day.

Herr Feustel calls to fetch us for a drive; I had promised Frau v. Schleinitz to inspect an estate for her. We drive along wretched highways, get out, and hardly are we out when the carriage slides into the ditch and turns over. We are an hour’s walk from the town, my father in no state to walk. R. sets off to order a carriage while we take shelter in a farmhouse, but at last Feustel’s coach is sufficiently restored to enable us to start our journey home, amid laughter.

In the evening Father visits the Thursday gathering with R. Today the clerk Hoffmann also returned, bringing with him the money order and the contract, so everything is now settled.