Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of June 17, 1872

Overview

R. suffers from a troubling buzzing and stabbing in his ears, which reminds the household of an earlier illness and makes her deeply anxious. She is also distressed by the cost of their life there and by his inability to work properly or even take a walk. The Svendsens visit, but he is too unwell to keep company, and the evening is overshadowed by news that the dean is seriously ill. A remark from R. about Feustel’s conversion adds a faintly ironic edge to the worry.

Content

Monday, June 17:

R. has a buzzing and stabbing sensation in his ears, something he also had severely 8 years ago in Starnberg. It both worries and alarms me, and I am also worried by the very great expense of our life here. Alas, the poor dear man has much to bear!

He is not at all well, can do little work, and does not go for a walk. In the evening the good Svendsens come and he has to leave, for he can talk to nobody.

We are very upset by the news that the dean is seriously ill. Are we now being threatened with a loss? His last office was administering Communion to our friend Feustel, who has gone over to Protestantism. R. says, half in fun, half in earnest, “Have certain gentlemen been giving him a dose for that?”