Dear Minna,
Of late I have been more in request than I care for; scarcely had the Schnorrs departed, whom I coached in Tristan, than the Dustmanns came, and so on. — In and for itself, moreover, I believe I do right not to answer your letters forthwith when they don't concern urgent affairs, but simply regrettable points in our general relations — a course you still persist in. How much I myself feel exhausted by that endless skein of incorrect and exaggerated fancies and conceptions, never to be unravelled this way, I have repeatedly sought to bring home to you; but even if I left my own composure out of count, I never know how to pick and choose expressions not to yield you fresh occasion for self-torturing misunderstandings. Your last letter itself has re-confirmed this, and strengthened me in my inflexible resolve — believe that! — not to be drawn into those points again in any way.
What more can I say, if you really remain of opinion that I threatened to get you "punished" by Fr. Huber! — Such nonsense I can only meet henceforth by silence. — But how, in spite of my positive statement that I adhere in all things to my views anent our domiciliary relations, and shall see you again at Dresden this late-autumn, — how you have persuaded yourself once more to construe my assurance that I shall make it my business to avoid anything in those relations which might possibly shame you in the eyes of the world, as if I didn't mean to lodge with you in Dresden, — is one more evidence how hard you make everything to me, and what I must always be prepared for! I beg you, read my letter through again, with the passages in my previous letters which dealt with our future domiciliary relations, and answer yourself whether I could have had such an insult to you in my mind with that assurance. I have so definitely expressed myself to you about my growing need of temporary retirement to the greatest calm, the quietest seclusion of dwelling-place, on account of my works; about the difficulties of combining this in a big city with an abode that meets your needs of non-seclusion, lively surroundings, nearness to people, etc., — I have expressed all this so definitely, that you ought to have been in no doubt of my meaning that I should make it my business to furnish the world a similar reason for leading an intermittent life with you in Dresden. —
Once more, dear Minna: Don't take things too heavily, — but also don't take them too lightly! What makes the present epoch hard for us is not merely disputes from these latter years; under any circumstances we have arrived at a critical period of married life, a period that, with our so extremely different views and characters, must be passed through and surmounted with the utmost prudence. We are neither young nor old: young, we cannot make ourselves again; so the hope of age alone remains to us. Benevolently and kindly careful for each other's weal, let us leave ourselves a breathing-time for entering that further stage wherein we may resume a peaceful care-free life in common, with all our woes forgotten. Soberly and benignantly I now offer this needful pathway of transition. We will not separate for that, but leave the door still open to the need of each. Mine passionately impels me to completion of various drafted works, for which I'm still in years of adequate creative power precisely now: for that I not only need quiet, but my whole bent, my own sore ailments, positively drive me to the greatest solitude available; and this must now stand open to me whenever I require it. On your side, in a modest Dresden settlement you'll find the very thing that does you good, society of female friends, distraction, life all round you. There you will keep my room prepared for me; and there, whene'er I turn my steps to town and town affairs, I shall be at home and have my home with you. Thus will it gradually be discovered what is good and needful for the pair of us, without our wearing each other out — which is really to be feared after our latest experiences — in the difficult transitional epoch we now have reached. And thus shall we at last attain that period of our age which, as I fondly hope, may still reward and soothe our undivided intercourse. —
You see, I abide by the plan I unfolded to you after your return from Biebrich. Now do not let yourself be led astray again, for your part; compose yourself, preserve your health!
You shall have money again in a few days. The amount required for the Dresden installation I hope to be able to supply you in the course of August. — I'll write you upon other things next time. Now farewell, be reassured, and understand me right and well! Kind love from
Thy Richard.
Source: Richard to Minna Wagner: Letters to His First Wife, trans. William Ashton Ellis, Vol. 2 (Charles Scribner's Sons, 1909), No. 249