Ach!!! Minna!!!! — If you only knew what lies behind that exclamation! — A quiet home-life!! — nothing beyond on this earth! — why should it not be granted me, of all men, who need it so much? Why must I wave off in despair each enticement to regain the needed prematurely, not to fall into still worse straits afresh? — But, everything must have an end: I shan't run short of patience! — So — to the point! —
My last few days in Vienna I did not know from morn to eve again what really to proceed with, or whither turn. However, I don't want to depict to you my psychic reactions, but simply the events. — I had announced to Metternich my advent, as he bade me when in Vienna, and everything was fixed for my departure. Then I get a telegram asking me to defer my journey to Paris awhile, a letter would follow. I read that as preliminary to a refusal, and supposed it had occurred on Pourtalès' instigation, as the latter is not in favour of my undertaking anything in Paris this winter (but not in Berlin either!!). I confess, this assumption that the Metternichs had suddenly withdrawn their invitation made me extremely sad, because I struck myself forthwith as a person with whom absolutely no one would have anything to do. I couldn't remain in Vienna; what to do at Berlin without jeopardising my whole future there? Neither did I want anything else at present, than to be put up somewhere quietly and at my ease, to be able to turn out my new work. — So I wrote the Olliviers, asking if they could find me a quiet room in their house or its vicinity, with private board. In the first instance this was merely a try-on, in the hope of still teaching the Metternichs better manners. — But on the top of it came another letter from Schott, which suddenly set all my expectations of a prompt conclusion of the projected business tottering. In truth, I felt thoroughly wretched! — Then at last came Metternich's letter, and I discovered (I admit: to my great joy!) that I was mistaken in my supposition of a change in the Prince's mind. In the most friendly fashion he repeated to me that I should be extremely welcome, and could calmly work away in his house for as long as I pleased: only, in consequence of the sudden death of his mother-in-law, a near relative had just arrived who would remain for the month of December and occupy the apartment reserved for me; but this would stand at my disposal from the 1st of January onward. —
So I decided after all — not to give up my Hans Sachs, but instantly proceed to Schott's at Mainz and set all in order personally. In that I succeeded, as I briefly notified you from Mainz. Schott consents to engrave the partitur straight off while I'm at work, and to make me the needful advances: he had already sent enough to Vienna to enable me to settle honourably all round, so that I didn't have to give myself the least away to anybody. — Wherefore I also decided to make direct for the place of my proposed longer stay. As I haven't to compose at first, but only to make the verses, I needed nothing but a small quiet room without piano, and wished to find it at once for those few weeks. Olliviers had nothing decent to recommend me; so I have hired a small room for that brief time in a hôtel garni on the quay here (Hotel Voltaire, Quai Voltaire 19.), and think of commencing my versifying tomorrow, God willing, so that I may meet my piano again at Metternich's the 1st of January and start the composition. —
Much other matter, e.g. my incredible deprivations, inconveniences etc., I reserve for laments by mouth: it will be abundant enough. For the present, just one point: — I mean to remain quite unnoticed in Paris, not to give myself the look of seeking something here this winter after arriving at nothing in Germany; indeed, without Metternich's invitation and my resolve to do nothing but work in the greatest retirement, any idea of Paris would never have occurred to myself. I shall see no one but Nuitter and Gasperini (apart from my Ambassadors) — with whom I have bargained to deny my being here and say I'm in Italy or somewhere. I shan't go to that side of the Boulevards etc. at all, but remain upon this side of the Seine, take my promenades here — Luxemburg etc. — keep indoors all day, and work. That is my plan; and my main prospect in all Paris is the good housing, convenient attendance and feeding, at the Metternich hotel. Nevertheless I have arranged for Truinet to spy out what's becoming of that theatre of Perrin's and so forth. As soon as any decisive step is taken, which often happens here, he is to inform me at once, and I shall be on the spot to seize the opportunity. — That's my plan. You perceive that visits to the Szemeres and such-like will not work in. Even the Olliviers won't see much of me.
But I'm thinking of the future also, and in that regard I must say the Rhine-land much attracted me this time. As it will also be of great assistance to the publishing of my new opera for me to be close at hand there, I have promised the Schotts, who very amiably put me up, to pass at least the 3 summer months, July, August, September, in that district. Themselves they will see where to find us a suitable summer abode in the Rheingau. I've also been thinking a little of Baden Baden, which pleased you so greatly the last time. When the time comes round, and if you care to, you might look about there for a dwelling for us, after all, where one could also get the furniture sent in at once. The latter plan would be peculiarly practical if a Berlin pension were secured me meanwhile, such a thing being already on the cards through mediation of the Grand Duchess of Baden. — So — there you have ideas for the future! —
In the meantime I've still to recover from the exquisite present. I confess I am a riddle to myself, what I endure, and yet keep regaining my courage and relish for things. I arrived here ill and with a shocking cold, in awful weather, so that I remained in bed the first day, the second in my room. I got your letter from the Embassy at once, however, and thank you for the Good luck you wish me. — Probably I shall write to Tichatscheck also to-day. You might give Schnorr a message from me; for he wrote me that his means were unequal to the third act of Tristan, since he felt that not a note in it could be altered. Tell him really to have no scruples on this last point, as I recognise myself that shortenings must be made in that act; I had already resolved on it, and would let him know them presently. Consequently, if Salvi speaks to him, beg him not to talk about the part being inexecutable on his side also: on the contrary, he may rely on my putting it altogether right for him. —
Now write me soon again, best Mutz. Make life easy for yourself (and thereby for me as well!), and hope for a silver and golden future!
Greet Jacquot, and love
Thy poor Husband.
I shall write to Schott's about the stockings: kindest thanks!! —
Source: Richard to Minna Wagner: Letters to His First Wife, trans. William Ashton Ellis, Vol. 2 (Charles Scribner's Sons, 1909), No. 223