Dear Minna,
Last Wednesday my friend Dr. Standthartner (as deputy physician in ordinary) was summoned in haste by the Empress to a consultation in Venice; as doctor and friend he insisted on my accompanying him, since I needed a change, some distraction, if I meant to hold out here. I returned this morning, and shall hope it has benefited me: at least I had no talking to do for a few days running, but only sights to see, which really did me good. For, after all it's a mere question of whether I can really hold out! —
I didn't reply to a certain portion of your last letter because I believed it agreeable to yourself as well to let the matter drop. For my part, I wish this emphatically, and nothing in the world shall induce me to return to it any more. That I don't reject your arguments with contempt, you might have judged by my having entered at such length into your first letter about it. I deeply regret not having pacified you, but am unequal to dilating thereon a second time. If you chose to read that as contempt, you would be doing very wrong. —
I forgot to answer your suggestion about Prague because I had something else to say, and it is useless to speak about things that can't be executed. For I have made very careful inquiry into the conditions there, and that through inhabitants who would much like me to come, and have found it generally confirmed that the Prague theatre is now beneath all criticism, and its director the most miserable creature; even the orchestra is said to be vile. To furnish everything brand-new there, is consequently bound to strike me as more difficult than merely to procure a tenor here, where I otherwise have everything and of the best. You would have done better to infer from my silence on this point that I recognised the plan as unfit, than to think I disdained your advice. On the contrary, I shall be thankful if you can give me good hints from time to time.
Touching the stockings — pardon! I've often thought of them, but they always slipped my memory precisely when I was writing to you. Be so good, then, as to address them here at once; for presumably I shall remain here long enough, in any case, to be able to expect them. From my heart I thank you for this present.
Make my provisional excuses to Cecilie: when she wrote me, I didn't exactly know if I should be coming or not, so put it off. Since I firmly made up my mind not to go to Berlin before they summon me, I've had so much letter-writing etc. to do every day, that people must excuse me if I do not come down on the nail with a thing of less moment. Whoever reflects that I daily not only have to experience disagreeables — i.e. non-successes — but also to discuss them with each person I meet, and therefore to repeat the selfsame disagreeable some 10 times every day, will understand that it isn't much amusement to keep referring to it by letter also. But there, who ever gives a thought to how things look inside one?! — Everyone believes that he has first rights! —
To give you at least a clear idea, however, I'll tot you up the following about my situation.
All our hopes of Morini hung on one sole thread, as I've explained to you already. But in his second role too he has proved himself not the man they require here, and his engagement, projected on a most expensive scale, has fallen through. Taking a rapid survey of the situation, I offered the Director to bring off a starring of Tichatscheck; as the latter didn't particularly please the Viennese once before, also is aging, he wished me to write to Schnorr instead, and ask if he could get away for December, January and February. To-day Schnorr has answered me, that he can't. At the same time Tichatscheck writes to me: I gather from his letter that he's at liberty for 7 months (beginning with December); so I have just telegraphed to him at once, asking if he can and will come here the first 5 of them. If Tichatscheck makes this possible, I hope to induce the Director to engage him for that period; it would be the only chance now open of still bringing out Tristan this winter, for I can't think of Ander any longer. Tichatscheck therefore has it in his hands alone, how my fortunes are to turn. You in Dresden will perhaps learn earlier than myself, then, how my undertaking stands. If Tichatscheck fails us, I must strike off a whole year again as lost. — I have also been pondering how to bear the dénouement last named. The only thing that can preserve me then, will be to take a new work — of lighter build — in hand at once. Metternich has offered me for that event a quiet undistracted retreat in his house. —
So we shall see! —
The Grand Duke of Baden has now written me: he sets forth very circumstantially and sensibly why he cannot comply with my wish. —
I have to proceed very warily with the management here. I had already learnt that they're shabby in money-matters. I've succeeded, however, in retreating with full honours.
It is the Frommann's opinion that only Pourtalès can assist me to anything at Berlin in time. —
Under such circumstances, I've cast my eye on something which may provide me with the needful funds without requiring to ask favours of anyone. It is connected with the draft of a new and easier work, about which I do not wish to speak yet. —
I am able to send you 100 thaler again to-day, tho'; I'll see to something more by the end of the year, that you may have a full 250 thr. quarterly. Only give me the solitary pleasure of your soon coming to a rest: I still think the old Dresden plan the best, with the chamber for me, as I scarcely dare hope for a big appointment yet. But you — with your poor Jacquot — you must come to rest: it grieves me in my deepest soul to think that I drag so much misery behind me for others! As soon as you tell me you want to have the furniture at Dresden, I will find means to send it you and provide you with the wherewithal for setting up: rely on that. — What you can contribute toward enabling me also to make a temporary stay again in Dresden, please do! You'll find much pioneering done already; I rely in this matter on Seebach's good heart. —
So, dear Minna, let the above suffice you for to-day. I'm rather done up, as I travelled all night; also I found a deal of agitating business waiting for me, which had to be disposed of at once. But rest, composure — is so terribly wanted by myself as well; I, too, already often suffer from protracted thumping of the heart, and the doctor tells me — as yourself — that all my various maladies arise from that one point alone, continual excitement and worry! —
So — best greetings to Jacquot, the last of the faithful, and keep him too at rest and out of commotion: otherwise, I see it plainly, all three of us will come to grief soon.
Adieu! With kindest love,
Thy poor Husband.
If I've forgotten anything again, please just remind me!
Source: Richard to Minna Wagner: Letters to His First Wife, trans. William Ashton Ellis, Vol. 2 (Charles Scribner's Sons, 1909), No. 218