My good Minna,
I think about you more — believe me! — than is good. Which means: I cannot break myself of continually occupying my mind with plans for our fresh habitation, and taking one possibility after another more seriously and definitely in eye. Only, I believe I am always catching myself on the high road to rashness again, and it costs me a violent wrench to retain that full prudence and patience which must guide me, this time, to prevent my taking any step that — after such woful experiences — so easily might become a fresh source of unnumbered disasters and sorrows. Rest assured, however, that it comes very hard to me to force myself to wait at present with the utmost caution for the right course, nevermore to be repented, to present itself. My only consolation is the hope that even that will not delay too long! —
For the moment everything is happening that could serve to make me forget in a measure the last sad times. The only misfortune is that I can be far too little by myself, the whole Altenburg is so full of guests; luckily, however, they're not the dreaded counts and princes, but simply Liszt's pupils, who lead a fairly jolly life here. Liszt himself is perfectly charming, and pleases me uncommonly again. I'm quite magnificently lodged, and can retire at any instant; of which unluckily I get but very little chance. The Grand Ducals will only come to town for the performances, and I still hope to get away from here unnoticed by them. Liszt is giving up the Altenburg definitively, and will never return to it. His own future remains quite uncertain.
— Since I saw you I have received more letters from Vienna, inviting me urgently. Unfortunately I had made a miscalculation with this festival, however; I must remain till Wednesday evening, and no doubt cannot leave before Thursday.
So I shall probably write you once again from here — if possible — and then — let us hope! — a trifle more, and with less disturbance. (For you may easily imagine how I'm taken possession of here by all the musicians from Germany — the Panther, too, who sends you his compliments! —) But I think a letter from yourself will catch me here, so I would most heartily beg you to give me a little account of yourself with all speed.
As soon as you have settled anything preciser about your next movements, please tell me at once; I hope (and above all, wish) that our plans upon both sides may soon coincide again. Meanwhile don't let it worry you, however: this temporary laisser-aller — how and whither — has its recreative uses for our run-down nerves; at least I'm beginning to remark that in myself, and I noticed it in you as well. Should you prefer a prompt fixture, tho' — entirely according to your choice — rest assured that I by no means make a point of Dresden.
Weimar might perhaps receive a glance from you as well, but do pay a visit also to the land of Baden; have a look at Carlsruhe for yourself. If the choice of domicile proceeds from you, it can be small and modest to begin with; and that will relieve me of a certain burden of responsibility, which — before I obtain a good and warranting occasion for re-settlement — indeed I horribly dread. — So, be you the mistress of our fate for once; I believe I shall feel justified in saying Yes to everything! —
Soon more, and more at peace, tho'!
For to-day, good Minna, another thousand hearty greetings! Console and take care of yourself; enjoy the time when it at least is granted you not to suffer directly under my singular fate. Then — Hope!
Adieu! Greet Mathilde and Jacquot!
Thy Richard.
Source: Richard to Minna Wagner: Letters to His First Wife, trans. William Ashton Ellis, Vol. 2 (Charles Scribner's Sons, 1909), No. 210