Dearest Minna,
I'm writing you another couple of hurried lines ere breaking up; until to-day I shouldn't have known what to tell you. My pass hasn't come back from the French embassy yet, so I absolutely don't know where to lay my head. I am very depressed and put out, and a great bitterness is taking possession of me. Moreover, the terrible drain on my pocket here really robs me of all heart; after 4½ months of it, I am glad to be clearing out of this hotel, where tips and general dearness almost ruin one. And then all my fearful amount of luggage, piano, etc., and even yet no actual prospect of a thorough solution of all these problems. You may well believe that, in these circumstances, and as it alters absolutely nothing, even your accounts of the Lohengrin have made no great impression on me; though I thank you very much for them, and for your sake they were highly acceptable. But I also know that everything will remain as it was, notwithstanding, and none of all those my work delights again will seriously raise their voices for me. —
To restore myself a little, I now intend to seek the higher mountain air, and — as I telegraphed to you an hour ago — to stay awhile at Rigi-Kaltbad, and at the same time wait and see whether and when I get my pass. I have no farther trip in view now, and shall be only too glad if I feel a little fresher again.
In my present plight I consequently am left no other joy than the welcome assurance I glean from your latest letters, especially from that with the description of your outing, that your health is improving. I assure you, that indeed has rejoiced and consoled me; for all the rest is really transitory, and subject to a change which also may conduct to better things. So I simply beg you constantly to bear in mind that my last care upon this earth remains your restoration and your prospering; keep that itself in constant view, and do your utmost to lighten this care for me. —
I had arranged a rendezvous at Strassburg with Ed. Devrient; unfortunately I have had to cancel it by telegraph already, since the unadjusted pass affair, as said, still blocks my setting foot in France. However, I must be getting an answer on that point as well soon, and am not afraid it will prove unfavourable. I'll write you again before I definitely depart; I'm also hoping for a letter from yourself in answer to my despatch of to-day, to be sent after me from Lucerne to the Rigi in case I do not fetch it here myself. To-day I have waited in vain for a letter.
Now farewell; give me good news of yourself, which will be the best contribution to an improvement in my own condition.
A thousand heartfelt greetings!
Thy Richard.
Source: Richard to Minna Wagner: Letters to His First Wife, trans. William Ashton Ellis, Vol. 2 (Charles Scribner's Sons, 1909), No. 184