Dear Minna,
Pardon! I had really won an easier mind about yourself, than you had trust in me. I did not believe the brief postponement of a letter from me — now — would plunge you at once in disquiet again. I see I was mistaken, and unfortunately recognise that your idea of me is still the prey of every wind that blows. Well, I never thought I had deserved that now, but, relying on your trust in me, for once I deferred writing you for 2 days, simply because I had nothing to write and deemed mere protestations of my own reliability superfluous. Moreover, I really was prevented at the time when I usually write, namely between work and dinner, as I had to go to town twice over to attend to presents for yourself. I could willingly forgive your little plaguing of me thus; only your not ceasing to torment yourself as well quite makes me sad, for I hardly see how it will stand in my power to reassure you in the long run. But enough of that now! —
I am writing these lines on the eve of X's expected arrival. Touching this visit, I may tell you very candidly that I would rather have seen it omitted. Many people are fond of me whose affection I am unable to return, and what I have to say to him is so soon exhausted that his daily companionship may become fairly trying to me. This woman's-brawl, moreover, has disgusted me in the last degree, and I should almost have preferred your having passed such a scandal by more quietly yourself; knowing you were at a cure, the wife would have done better to spare you such muck. I hate this whole common pack, one as much as another, for they're all of a muchness. In my retirement I have long since found uplifting over such vulgarities, and any dragging of me down into that odious stew affronts me past all measure. I wish everyone of that sort would only leave me alone. — The Bülow also writes me to-day that they were just starting from Berlin, but not when they'll arrive at Zurich; I presume they'll make a stay at Baden-Baden first. —
Now, my good Mutz, do drum it into your head that the expected visits are not to upset you in any way. Only let me provide, and I'll try and keep everything off your shoulders. Should I remark that a visitor isn't doing you good, I'll bundle off the lot forthwith, and take a proper pleasure-trip with you instead. But — don't let that alarm you either; I mean merely what I say, and have my eye on nothing save your quiet, your recovery. So let us hope for the best!
Whether I shall pay you another visit first with X, I must leave unsettled. On the contrary, I don't think of detaining him, and the sooner I am rid of him, the better I shall be pleased. I tell you candidly, I should prefer to come comfortably alone to you on Thursday with the big carriage, and hope it may be so. Pull yourself together, then; anticipate nothing but what is good and pleasant. I am looking after you; so put your trust in me, and don't let yourself be bent by every passing breeze, do you hear? —
So — to our speedy reunion! Before then you shall have had further news from me, especially concerning X. Farewell, and prove yourself reliant and reliable to me!
Thy Richard.
Source: Richard to Minna Wagner: Letters to His First Wife, trans. William Ashton Ellis, Vol. 1 (H. Grevel & Co., 1909), No. 140