Best thanks for your letters, dear Minna, the second of which I have this moment received. Your uneasiness troubles me, and I hasten to dispel it, so far as in me lies. Concerning the first concert you are exhaustively informed now; I have nothing to add, excepting that yesterday's newspapers already devoted much space to it. The reporter to the Times, an intimate friend of Mendelssohn's, and a man whom every artist arriving here must pay tribute to, if he isn't to tear him to pieces, is furious with me; blind opposition presumably will go on that way for a time. Others on the contrary, for instance in the Morning Post, have dilated on my performance with surprising clearness, and paid it the greatest recognition. You know how indifferent I am to all of this; so not another word about it! The orchestra is enthusiastic for me; I have been assured I could do what I liked with it, down to the very last man. That remains to be seen at the next concert, for which I've two rehearsals. — I promised to be rather more circumstantial this time about my mode of life; gladly would I have done it in a more cheerful temper than has been made possible to me now by your news. Friend Wesendonck's fear of extravagances, on my part, I do not altogether relish. In the first place, I'm bound to judge from his remarks that he doesn't know London quite well enough, at least as regards the conditions under which it's possible for me to live here for a length of time. The statements of Frau Wille and his own wife, that 200 pounds would only just enable me to live decently in London for four months, in his eyes may rank as exaggerations by those who understand nothing about it; but it is curious that I haven't met a single person here who wouldn't have confirmed their view at once, or didn't smile when I spoke of intended savings. For myself, too, with my present experiences I find I should get through the 200 pounds quite certainly if I meant to live without some sort of stint; but I mean to stint myself in truth, and save in any case. In every other way I can and mean to do it, only in that of abode it would be a sacrifice which would render my endurance here downright impossible. A thoroughly agreeable dwelling-place, cheerfully situated and with a little convenience, to me is indispensable, as I shall be indoors and working nearly all day long. There's not a hint of luxury about the lodging I have taken, and if I were to draw you up a list of the conveniences I miss here, as compared with home, it would become a long one; still, it attracted me, and I have now installed myself as comfortably as I was able. As regards the price, out of some 20 lodgings I looked at in this neighbourhood with Praeger, I found none under 1½ pound, and they lacked too much to make them acceptable to me for a period of 4 months. Praeger has been in London over 20 years, and knows it very minutely, according to the testimony of everyone; he told me I should find no lodging suitable for me under 1 pound, 1 p. 15 sch., and so on. It pains me to have to excuse myself at such length upon this point!
It would be far worse if I had to go on dining at a restaurant; I should never get away under 6 schillings, as I can neither drink beer nor the fiery English wine, and have always had to pay 3 sch. for half a bottle of French red wine. I have tried it repeatedly, and found that it can't be done cheaper. On the contrary, I have hit on the expedient of laying wine in (at 3 sch. the bottle), and mostly getting my dinner also cooked at home; which comes fairly cheap, since they only charge me with the actual outlay. My dinner then consists of soup (the most expensive item), a rostbeaf, and Chester cheese. For my lunch (at 1) I generally send out for a dozen oysters. I fancy I shall manage cheapest that way. I am often invited out, too (as yesterday to Sainton's, to-day to Semper's, Sunday to Praeger's). I couldn't go on feeding at the latter's (regularly) since he only dines at home 3 times a week himself, and even then just scampers through it, as a rule, at 2 o'clock; which doesn't suit me. So the chief remaining things are firing (very dear — but necessary!) and transport. As regards the firing, I have hopes of seeing that item vanish with the coming of Spring; I shall probably retrench in transport also by degrees, as soon as I get to know the omnibuses and their usage better. — So — set your mind at rest about my extravagances; I shall save in any case — only, don't begrudge me my apartment!
I'm going to write to Sulzer, too, to-day: that I shall try and make it possible to have money shortly sent him for yourself; meanwhile he will know how to assist you for a few weeks, so that you may fall into no difficulty and also be able to procure yourself some fresh vegetables and meat. —
To Alwine I likewise am writing to-day, as also to Liszt: that this matter must come to an end, and Hülsen is to have the Tannhäuser. —
(I cannot spare another score for private use; tell Hug's that.)
Last night I dreamt most vividly of Peps; he didn't seem young, though, but quite old and deformed, completely blind, and so deplorable that I started out of sleep with the cry, "O you poor creature!" — In general I'm feeling rather tender; please send me right good tidings, to help me hold out. The new has little charm for me, almost nothing but disgust now; my heart cleaves to rest, ay, to the accustomed, because I have to keep experiencing the more that I'm to experience nothing joyful any more. I feel much bitterness; everything here leaves me monstrous cold; unfortunately I see through the empty and hollow too fast now, and all illusion comes harder and harder to me. If it weren't for my relations with this orchestra, its affection and the hope of thereby turning out fine work, nothing, nothing could retain me here; not even the — so envied lodging! — Farewell for to-day, dear good Wife. Be merrier than I, and perhaps it will make me so myself again! Farewell, and kind regards to all. —
I had to pay 1 pound 12 schl. for the box of music! If Hr. Hoffmann had only addressed it to his brother here, it would have come far cheaper. — I have also had to buy a feather-bed for my feet.
Tomorrow I am to be driven to Benecke's, to whom Wesendonck had recommended me; my next letter I shall therefore write to Wesendonck. — I still have no piano! — (Don't take such thick paper again, as the last time; I had to pay double postage for it.) You see how thrifty I'm becoming, and let us hope you'll rejoice with W. about it.
Source: Richard to Minna Wagner: Letters to His First Wife, trans. William Ashton Ellis, Vol. 1 (H. Grevel & Co., 1909), No. 78