My good Minna, don't be cross with me for leaving it so late before writing again! I have only a couple of hours to myself in the morning, and if anything whatever crops up then, as has always been the case these last few days, even that little is lost to me. — My homesickness is as great as any such a thing can be: but my country is — you and our small household; I know of nothing in the world that could compensate me for it! Only reflect how we live, and whether I indeed know any other pleasure than my home! You can't think how I'm longing to be able to hug you to my breast again and shake off that chill which freezes one's whole being at last in a strange land like this, cut off from all affection! No, my ambition does not carry far — to me a fair heart's-country stands above all else! And now, dear child, our longest time of separation is surely past? Thank God!!! —
You always strike me in your letters as not quite well; — you can't think how peculiarly doleful that makes me each time! I was perfectly relieved when you wrote me at last that you had really been having those horrible headaches again; for I know where I am then, and alarm myself no farther. Poor little poppet! —
But tell me, what on earth have you been hearing, to give me such strict warnings to be very careful? You are so exhaustive in these warnings, yet mention nothing that has prompted them! I expect it's nothing very serious, after all. — You are completely right, that I bear my heart too much upon my tongue, and should often do more prudently to keep this and that to myself, or to ourselves; I will not contradict you in the slightest there, and can only excuse myself by saying, that is how I'm made. God will take care, however, that I do not come to grief through empty chatter! — Nevertheless, you are right! — What would you more?? —
I haven't much to report from here this time; the past week has been rather a medley. The Köster was to have made her debut in Euryanthe; a sore throat prevented her, — so rehearsals of Rienzi were held again, but chiefly with the orchestra alone, which latter gives me great delight. Last night we had a grand rehearsal of the scenery; it will all do fairly, only Küstner committed the stupidity of ordering the new scenes long before he had had due consultations with the regisseur etc., — therefore sundry things have not turned out correct. —
Another matter. If you were meaning to arrive here Saturday evening, you would exactly not find me in, and I couldn't come and meet you, — for we have a big rehearsal just that evening: on a Friday, again, you probably won't wish to travel, and before then you're unlikely to be ready; — wherefore you perhaps had better get here Sunday evening — if not on Thursday. So write me when you mean to come for certain, and whether you will travel direct in one day, as I then should meet you at the station toward 7 in the evening. — My God, I'd rather you were there already!!
There is a possibility, however — you know the stage way — of the performance not coming off at all on the 15th: — the Köster is unwell (??) on the 12th, 13th and 14th. However, I have hit on this expedient, that the actual full rehearsal, particularly for the singers, shall take place on Monday evening, the 11th, — Tuesday a rest, and on Wednesday a repetition without tiring the singers, and Thursday no rehearsal at all, so that everyone may come to the production nice and fresh; — the Köster has agreed to it, and hopes to cause no upset: — yet, who knows?! — Not that it would be so great a misfortune, — for the King never goes to the theatre on his birthday, and moreover they have a prologue etc., which makes the evening some half an hour longer!! So it strictly isn't very tempting to me; but we shall see. — Only whatever betides, come you at latest Sunday, — the rest will soon be squared! —
I dine at Meyerbeer's to-day! He is going away soon; — all the better!
Make your mind easy about Meinhard. — In the first place he really is a jolly, decent fellow, who considers me an honour to him; and although he has a second reason, it's of no harm to me: he is Pfister's bosom-friend, to wit, and most anxious that I should give him a lift, train him thoroughly in his part, etc., to obtain him promotion. — I haven't seen the Frommann for a couple of days; I can only go there of an evening, and then she is often engaged. —
Yet another thing, dear child. I have commissioned Röckel to raise some more money and give it to you; firstly, in case you run short, and secondly, to make us safe here. So take it! —
I have had a cold all the time such as I've seldom experienced; my head is always in a maze, and that adds no little to the discomforts of my existence: but it will do me good, and save me from severer illness. —
Now, God grant you may have no more to complain of, and that our reunion, for which I'm longing so with all my heart, may find us both quite well and cheerful! Why should it not? — if we are not in the best of health by then, we shall soon become so through the joy of repossession!
When my thoughts fly home, I often have to cry aloud for melancholy! — Home! Home! It tops all else, for sure! —
Farewell, my dear good Wife. Love me as unconditionally as I love you, and then I'll ask no more! Farewell; a thousand kisses from
Thy Richard.
Source: Richard to Minna Wagner: Letters to His First Wife, trans. William Ashton Ellis, Vol. 1 (H. Grevel & Co., 1909), No. 24