[...] Really, I am weary of being nothing but an everlasting trouble to my friends. This sense of bitterness is all that remains to me of the hazardous Paris adventure. The mischance itself has left me at bottom fairly indifferent.
I weary my friends in the most unjustifiable fashion, and heap burdens on my own shoulders which I really cannot bear any longer.—The good Bülow, who has felt my misfortune most intensely, attempts to secure a consoling prospect for me on German soil. I—have little confidence in it, and incline to believe that I shall have to go on gradually wearing myself away in endeavours to find rest, till I find rest eternal. Yet there are duties which still support me; cares keep me alive. [...]
Source: Letters of Richard Wagner, Vol. 2, selected and ed. Wilhelm Altmann, trans. M. M. Bozman (J. M. Dent & Sons, 1927), No. 487