[...] My lot at present is quaint enough! While my true path, the only thing I care for, remains permanently enshrouded in a very Teutonic fog of impossibility, Hans' diplomatic address has arranged all sorts of Parisian splendours for me, which float mockingly before my eyes like a Fata Morgana. What will come of the projected Tannhäuser, God only knows; in my heart of hearts I still do not really believe in it, and with good reason. I am more interested in the possibility of producing Tristan in Germany, and I am really thinking of settling my old dispute with Dresden if any moderately reasonable concessions are made to me. If I succeed in this I have my eye on Vienna as the theatre with the best singers and—a unique phenomenon of its kind—a competent musician as conductor, a thing, as you know, not to be found anywhere else on German soil.
[...] I have been brought here under the silly illusion of attempting to recover some of the cost of those Paris extravagances by repeating my Parisian concerts in Brussels. But, of course, this excursion has only meant fresh expenses and has gained me nothing but a little publicity. Amongst my dearest personal conquests here, pride of place is to Herr A. Samuel, who is about to go to Germany and wished for an introduction to you. He has been uncommonly kind to me in deed and word. You will quickly take to him, too, and in that belief I recommend him to your welcome.
But I, too, received an introduction here through you. Frau Agnes Street-Klindworth brought me the note you gave her five years ago in London! Thank you, after all this time, for the very pleasant acquaintance that you so unexpectedly procured me in this manner. I was soon quite at home with her and Papa Klindworth, and owe these two people very pleasant memories. The old man entertained me delightfully with his amazing wealth of diplomatic anecdote.
I am returning to Paris to-day to get a closer view of my glittering misery. M. Royer demands a great ballet for the second act of Tannhäuser; you may imagine how that strikes home! My refuge from such demands is, at present, Princess Metternich, who is in high esteem with Fould, etc. So I must see whether I can shake off this ballet, for otherwise I should—of course—withdraw Tannhäuser.
Well, then, now you have a somewhat closer view of the joys of my existence! Do not delay to communicate some fragment of your life to me. Only an increasing scorn for the world and for life can make our relations with this wretched life and world at all bearable. If these relations can be maintained with good humour, it is possible to hold out for a while. But when one sees how little there is in this world that can stand the acid test, when one observes over and over again the frantic superficiality, the incredible frivolity, the sheer pursuit of pleasure in every person and every place about one, one's own earnestness often seems very comic. And it is this sense of absurdity—in my case at least—which often puts me into the only tolerable frame of mind! [...]
Source: Letters of Richard Wagner, Vol. 2, selected and ed. Wilhelm Altmann, trans. M. M. Bozman (J. M. Dent & Sons, 1927), No. 459