You must have been long awaiting a letter from me, but I could scarcely muster spirit enough to write even a few business letters to Pohlenz. Oh, I am immeasurably unhappy, and the worst misery is that I don't know why! A general apathy, a mood that I could only call the most horrible indifference if I were not unfortunately already at odds with my whole environment, an indescribable sense of anxiety and fear of some ill-hap, overpowers me. [...] Yesterday I sent the voice parts and score of my Columbus Overture to Leipzig. I cannot be at the rehearsal, which grieves me, and I have no special eagerness to be at the performance, which I don't much care about—that indifference of which I told you! Of course you know the Overture, so tell people how they ought to do it. If I don't come tell me faithfully about the performance and its reception. Make a bit of a noise about it. Then—and this is most important—don't forget to go to Kistner and to Messrs. Breitkopf and Härtel and tell them about the performance of my Overture, and in case they should care to have it printed in my name. But let me know about that, too, won't you?
In your letters you say over and over again, "Things are going very well with me, better than you think," and I am ashamed of my premature consolations. But things are bad with me, more altogether disgusting than you think—psychically—psychically! Oh, my poor soul!—I like to think of you as of summer and warm weather! I have got myself into a beautiful scrape, too! Oh, my poor soul! Oh, I got out of bed the wrong side to-day. [...]
Source: Letters of Richard Wagner, Vol. 1, selected and ed. Wilhelm Altmann, trans. M. M. Bozman (J. M. Dent & Sons, 1927), No. 17