My Dear Friend!
Of late I have again been so intensely and sadly out of humour that I have really avoided taking up the matter we have discussed in order to give you a suitable answer to your fine letter. I see that I can no longer live properly now, if I do not make, on my own account, a violent effort to forget things somewhat in this direction. My creative composure becomes more and more difficult to maintain: in the midst of my work I am frightened by this or that fresh stab my heart receives from that side! And if, otherwise, my life were only made more calm in any way from that direction: perhaps then I might still regain some energy for that cheerfulness which otherwise would be mine and with which I should be able to overcome so many things. — This by way of apology for not having written you at once: besides I thought I might wait first for the letter promised by you from my sister from Salzungen. This has not yet arrived.
If I am writing to you today, it's actually only to tell you how deeply I appreciate your noble friendship, and how much obliged I feel again at this latest, extremely difficult friendly service! Oh, I really almost had to discuss the things that concerned us with a third person rather than always only with my unfortunate wife — to hear a voice that should call out to me in this chaos of mad notions with a clear and sympathetic word. Dear Anton, you have done infinitely more: you have felt compelled to take a deep hold in a matter which is bound to pain whoever even touches it: you comprehend everything, you are just and charitable! My first thought was to visit you soon again. And really — I must not let that wait any longer. I will write my sister to ask whether she can take me in for a couple of days (in order to keep my whereabouts unknown as much as possible). Then I shall come, if I can manage it, either this or early next month.
I have written again to my wife, who it seems found your intervention disagreeable. It is the most difficult trait about her, and unfortunately it proves that a moral healing of our difficulties is impossible, that after all her raging against me, after the countless scenes which have already led to a complete separation, she nevertheless entirely fails to comprehend the actual seriousness which this situation has for me. Finally, she appears to regard all these matters as only a matrimonial dispute, and if I were only willing — she thinks — everything could instantly be all right. Truly, in spite of her intelligence and energy otherwise, she lacks a really refined woman's disposition! Enough, I have given her to understand that I asked neither you nor my sister to intervene, properly speaking: that the fact that you both decided to do so of your own accord could show her that others do not regard our position as so simple as she has periodically viewed it.
My best Anton, I accept your advice, fully convinced of its excellence, and I shall follow it faithfully. In this life I have ceased to look for — happiness. I do not deny that solitude is often very difficult for me, that the thought of the intimate companionship of a sympathetic feminine person presents itself often in a flattering light, and that I look sadly on the desolate remainder of my life. Nevertheless, I have never thought seriously of an actual divorce from my wife. All the things I long for are no longer prompted by desire, but I ask only for peace, tranquillity, and, as far as possible, forgetfulness. I would even sacrifice this wish, if I might believe that I could thereby provide a pleasant existence for my wife. Experience has proved this to be entirely the contrary, and — I now believe at least that I must definitely refrain from such attempts. Hence you see, we are at one!
Well, in a few weeks I hope to see you, then we can speak at more length, and I thank you as friend to friend! Many fine regards to your dear family! For you, most grateful friendship!
Your
Richard Wagner
Source: The Letters of Richard Wagner to Anton Pusinelli, trans. and ed. Elbert Lenrow (Alfred A. Knopf, 1932), No. 28