My Dear Anton!
Accept my most cordial thanks for your letter, which I have just received! Sad as the subject is of which it treats, yet I breathe again to know that my poor wife is in your hands, under your protection. May Heaven bless you if you can continue to give me such consolation as you were able to indicate this time! You will not believe how much good you do me by this care of the sufferer!
But what I chiefly wanted to tell you is simply that you can count firmly and surely on my moral co-operation in your course of treatment. By separation for a time, I have arrived at what I contemplated instinctively — namely, putting myself in a position of being able, always, to exercise only a quieting, conciliating influence on her spirit. Even when we were actually living together, this was my firm intention, of late, in view of her sad state of health; but with a character as irritable as mine, the agitation and excitement of the moment now and then got the better of me, since in general I too had truly to undergo much suffering during those everlasting useless and senseless vexations. — Here at a distance, however, I can choose the hour and the mood when I am entirely master of myself and, loyal to my duty, have only to follow my resolution. Thus I am also encouraged to hope for the best. — As for the rest, only believe me, there is not, and there never has been, any question of serious marital differences; it was much rather that I was tormented by the fact that she put this construction on many an occurrence that was spiritual, because — to speak frankly — she is not in a position to appreciate what it really is a question of. This great intellectual difference is actually the source of so many painful misunderstandings between us. The sorrow that agitated me was just the result of my inability to make her understand this, and I found, time and again, that she was only filled with notions that made her regard my situation, especially in its relation to my wife, positively in a false, in fact trivial and vulgar light. Even now, she has continued in her recent letters to occupy her mind with such stuff and to demand explanations from me. I felt truly unhappy at this, because I actually saw that nothing could dissuade her from this, and that on the other hand particularly silly company and imprudent gossiping, often well meant in itself, always led her back to that which torments her. Fortunately, however, I can now get the peace of mind necessary to deal with her, and I hope my last letter will have helped much to appease her spirit. I shall go on thus, steadfast even in the face of the most indiscreet provocation. Be sure of that, dear friend!
But I would ask you to caution her acquaintances, as far as they are accessible to you, not to worry the poor soul with imprudent gossip. In this regard I am especially fearful of a certain Schiffner, a dressmaker, a good faithful creature who has been regarded in our family like an heirloom. Then let her understand things properly. My wife must only be dissuaded from, never encouraged — through good-natured acquiescence — in her truly foolish ideas concerning me and my personal affairs, which become entirely distorted as soon as one only speaks of them.
Now enough for today.
Again accept my most hearty thanks! By summer I also hope to see you once more!
Write me soon again, surely!
Your deeply grateful,
Richard Wagner
Source: The Letters of Richard Wagner to Anton Pusinelli, trans. and ed. Elbert Lenrow (Alfred A. Knopf, 1932), No. 23