Dear Good Friend!
I am on a visit to my poor wife, who is under medical treatment here at Brestenberg, to find relief from a terrible complaint — dilatation of the heart and appalling excitement of the nerves. Therefore your letter, sent here after me, was refreshing to both of us, and I'm taking advantage of a free moment to let you know at once of the great joy it gave me. You can well imagine how I feel at being deprived, for more than nine years, of every opportunity of hearing a good performance of my works! I must be consoled for this by the fact that my friends at least hear them for me, and if they do it with such a willing heart and open mind as you, my dear Anton, then this consolation becomes a real pleasure, which compensates me richly. See what a fine impression your information has produced!
In other respects, I'm passing through sad times; my outer world is disappearing more and more, and I am living almost entirely now in an inner one, in the greatest retirement. The only thing that uplifts me is work, and if I should end up by finding no pleasure in that, as recently happened for quite a time, then I really can't see any reason for going on living. I need great encouragement now, in order to hold out, and such refreshing things as your letter are therefore of particular value to me.
I've really no doubt that there will at last be a favourable turn in my outward position: if only it doesn't come too late, and thus fail to impress me! — But I still wish sincerely for an outward success, at least, so that before the end I may be able to compensate sufficiently my poor friends who have made great sacrifices for me. Let's hope so!
None of my photographs has ever been successful: and no more so in this place! My expression changes too much, and with all the preliminaries and the constraining position, I always miss the moment for a favourable expression. But I'll try it again, when I go to Paris, and then I shall certainly keep you in mind.
Several years ago Breitkopf & Härtel put out a passable lithograph of a drawing which was a fairly close likeness. Take a look at it, and if it will satisfy you in the mean time, I'll send you a copy if you wish.
Now, God be with you for today! My wife and I send our best regards, and I return those of your dear ones with all my heart!
Adieu!
Your
Richard Wagner
Source: The Letters of Richard Wagner to Anton Pusinelli, trans. and ed. Elbert Lenrow (Alfred A. Knopf, 1932), No. 19