Dear little Mathilde,
I really must send word to the Karthäusergasse, too, to reassure you all concerning me. - In order to describe my frame of mind to you, I would ask you only to consider this: last Wednesday evening, 8 days ago, when the King’s secretary, Lutz, came to see me and informed me of the King’s request that I should leave Bavaria for a few months, I suddenly saw before me, as large as life, one of those pretty villas on Lake Geneva which I have known for so long now, with myself inside it and my servants with me, total peace of mind, Mastersingers, being able to breathe again at last. For a long time I heard nothing more of what the unhappy man was saying. I then worked myself up into a state of unnatural excitement, at which I afterwards had to laugh, and - the very next day I gave instructions for my bags to be packed. I have now told the King as much. No doubt he will bow to his fate. I am already hard on the trail of a villa here: I hope I shall soon be able to work in earnest, something I should never, ever have been able to do again in Munich. I had already told the King this, he knew of my wish to go away. However, they conjured up a fog for his benefit, claiming that I was in great danger & that a terrible revolution, directed specifically at me, was about to break out: the poor man believed that the only means of protecting me was to send me away. Since then he has written me the most heartrending letter. - That is the position. -
But do you also want to know how it all came about? Children are always inquisitive. The Jesuits wanted to give me 2 Festival Theatres, 2 Academies of Art, villas & a regular income, whatever I wanted, as long as I showed myself to be compliant. Instead of which I simply ended up advising the King to send for a man of honour, and to form a new cabinet. At the eleventh hour they once more tried to gain my support for their plans which involved a complete reaction & the overthrow of the 1848 constitution. Only now did they set the dogs on me: I had had as much as I could take, and denounced the brutes more or less publicly. The King, (artificially) harbouring a personal prejudice against the man whom I had proposed, missed his opportunity, gave himself away, and fell into the trap. Everything I wish for now is for him alone! He must now help himself: if he cannot do so, he was not the right man, and I must grieve at the loss of a glorious hope. -
As far as I am concerned, I regard myself as saved, and am now looking forward to my work. The basic condition here - to be out of the world! All - but all - dealings with other people make me excitable, and consume my mental powers. Perfect and pleasant seclusion, in a foreign land, in surroundings unfamiliar to me, no relationships whatsoever, no contact with others, these are deeply felt preconditions for my ultimate prosperity. I shall visit you, but I can - live only in a totally alien land.
You know my instinctive ability to create those elements necessary to cut me off from the world. My servants are following me; Franz & Pohl are already here: Vreneli is coming in a few days; Anna will come with the children when the house is ready. I am hoping to find the right place within the next few days. I may even be working again by the 1st of January. - Now be of good cheer! There is only one grief that could grow any greater, and that would be if the King could not be saved: I believe I can reckon on his love as long as he lives. God knows, he may survive after all. My friends are a cause of worry to me. But this impossible situation must come to an end for their sakes, too. I want Bülow to start by taking a year’s leave of absence. He will travel around and give concerts: she will perhaps come here with the children, a move which is advisable not least on account of the glorious climate. - Now are you content? - Child! I could take no more of it. To ride out one day with the King in a coach and four, and the next day be torn apart by the priests - and all the time wanting only to work in peace. It was absurd! -
If everything turns out well, as I hope it will, this period of torment will have brought me a great deal, everything that I could have wished for, and - people are right to be amazed at my sprightly appearance. Well, there is a “reason” for that. Believe me. Best wishes to everyone, and continue to remember me kindly!
Sincerely yours,
R.W.
(Only Pohl has a bad cough: he is seeing the doctor.)
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 340