My wondrous friend,
What must such a letter mean to me, time and again! Though ardently awaited, it none the less comes as a surprise, falling, as it were, straight from heaven into this earth-bound life of mine! I then relive anew the fairest and most profound of all nations’ myths and dogmas; and the noble belief in the transmigration of souls becomes an inwardly experienced truth. How clearly do I feel that I have lived through several lives in me, in you, in her, and in all who are dear to me: and whenever I feel to be living there, I am conscious of the joys of death, of redemption, and of an end to being. What mysterious riddle is this? It is the mystery of love, a love which no longer knows desire, but which only gives, gives of itself in self-liberation.
Beautiful soul in which I live when utterly lost, how I love myself when I see myself in you: then all grief is at an end, and the deepest pain becomes the most joyous sensation! Thus the most unspeakable sadness shall merely extend the infinity of my existence: in me the departed spirit lives on, and with him I live in you! - The chain has expanded, not broken! -
My thanks! My thanks for this fair message, too!
My beloved friend! I am still sitting here, wondering whether or not to go into the mountains. I was held here, rooted to the spot by the most luxurious summer heat, and gazing yearningly towards the mountains. Now, all at once, the summer seems over. I know my old ill-fortune: the moment I arrange things laboriously in terms of time and space, all my calculations miscarry. - And yet - this very moment a sign has come, persuading me, at whatever risk to myself, to set out tomorrow morning. I must do something at once to restore my nerves, since I am wasting away in my melancholy mood from day to day, and can find no remedy for my sorry state. And so I intend to take the hunting-lodge on the Hochkopf as a sign that I must keep my head held high! The idea of going there has come through my beloved, who stayed there: my stay in the lodge shall be welcome, as a demonstration of your gracious kindness; I intend to stay there - with you. - And so I am resolved: I shall set off tomorrow at first light. May wind and weather prove favourable! I need sublime seclusion, mountains and forests in order to restore some tension to my enfeebled and wearisome nerves. -
Shall I soon hear from my beloved there? I am taking plenty of work with me, and plan to get on with the full score of Siegfried. With love and faith, but - as yet with little hope! -
The vocal score of the “Valkyrie” is finally ready, and moved me deeply when it arrived here: the first thing I looked for was the poem! To me - it is the most precious page in the whole volume. Here it is, my beloved friend! For the first time I can send out into the world a work which bears the noble stamp of love’s own true servant: the world shall see naught else of mine that is not ennobled by this mark. This is its import: nothing else! The world shall know that I now work and create for you alone, my gracious King! -
May it please you to receive what is yours! -
Soon there shall follow a work in my own hand?
My King! For all that we wish to achieve there is but one correct and successful starting-point: undisturbed personal understanding! No one can help us, save you and - me! I know the middle course to be useless. It is true, I admit, that I am waiting in a mood of confident composure to discover whether you have already come to a decision, and, if so, what? But if none has yet been reached, I shall take it as a sign from heaven, for I am now of the opinion that in fact - we need no one. You will be able to assure yourself of the loyalty and obedience of your administrative officials by dint of your royal prerogative: but what must be carried out is something that we alone can grasp and decide. No other way is possible. And so I entreat this one thing of you above all else: regular, frequent and undisturbed personal contact. Here, my noble friend, we must reach a basic decision. The whole world knows what I am to you. The secretiveness of this relationship is what makes it so beautiful for me: and only to beautiful souls can it ever be revealed. But the world, although it will never grasp the meaning of this secret, must be given an open and intelligible interpretation of our relationship, lest its trivial judgement be misled. I now believe that, instead of seeking out some court-servant’s strange and inappropriate title for me, it would be extremely simple and straightforward if - openly and in full view of the whole world - you were to give me a formal commission to carry out, with all their consequences, the suggestions and plans contained in my “Report on the German School of Music”, and for this lay down the condition that I should henceforth have to communicate the relevant artistic plans to you in person, and receive your decisions in this artistic matter in like manner. The purely administrative side of the business would simply devolve upon your cabinet officials. In this way the “Intendancy” would disappear, whereas the artistic aspect of the same would be filled in by myself. If a “title” were considered indispensable here, then - I should have to reconcile myself to it, if not - so much the better!!! What I am, and what I can be to you alone, is something which most certainly cannot be summed up in any sort of title. -
And now, my friend, we must also restore order to my personal relations. From a communication from Baron von Moy, whose visit I thought it meet to return, I gathered that, mindful perhaps of my refusal to accept the services of our excellent Councillor of State Pfistermeister, you had proposed that this gentleman, previously considered for the post of Intendant, should also be asked to superintend the relations between ourselves. I realized once again how deeply indebted I was to you for your tender solicitude. And yet I was alarmed at the thought that we might need an intermediary between us. If the King alone can grant me all that I might claim from the world, then only my friend can express what no King has previously felt moved to grant me. That is why I turn to my friend in person, asking him to intercede with himself, the King, and discover what I can, after all, finally receive from the hand of my friend alone. In a quiet moment I have accordingly set down in writing a clear account of what is necessary for such a communication. I am enclosing this document herewith. - I must conclude by describing the frame of mind in which I am submitting this document. It is one of great calm. -
A year ago, when I informed you of my wishes in respect of my plans to settle here for three years in order to complete the Nibelungs, I told you that there was a secret here. It was this: I did not wish to live longer than these three years, and found it criminal to worry about a time after the Nibelungs were finished. This has changed. The sacrifice has been made: Tristan is redeemed. I died in my friend! Rest in peace, my noble Ludwig Schnorr! -
Now I know that I shall carry out all my plans as long as I am enabled to do so: - more than the Nibelungs, everything! - But someone else must will it so, for my will no longer belongs to me. I have now considered the conditions necessary for my activities on earth. If I am denied them, my will shall have failed me. I can no longer desire anything, as such, for myself. - If you find it difficult, deny me: this will be my fate. But the common people and all the world already believe me far better provided for; this much is certain. Perhaps it is therefore not so difficult. But once again: I - desire nothing! - I say this without the least bitterness: tender-hearted, grave and calm. -
And now, in spite of wind and weather, off to the mountains! My trunk is being packed: my faithful servant and the dear old dog are accompanying me. An old Indian epic, “Ramayana”, is coming too: Siegfried, in his manifold guises, shall breathe anew on mountain heights.
When shall I hear from my friend? Shall I see him soon? Shall I disturb him on his birthday? Does my sweet and glorious friend believe me when I say that I love him more than myself and the world, and more than my works, and that I live for him alone?
Soul in soul; truly yours and for ever true,
Your
Richard W.
Report.
The annual salary of 4000 fl. which was most graciously allotted to me at the outset was adequate only on the assumption that I could move into an ordinary residence. A separate house and garden would require greater expense: such a property is very difficult to find here, and in order to be sure of enjoying it at least until such time as I had completed my Nibelung work, I requested special assistance for this special purpose over a period of three years, assistance which was most graciously granted to me by means of a formal contract covering the order and delivery of the work.
Since that time the following changes have taken place in my situation.
The favours which were granted me have been exaggerated and denounced to the general public in an inflammatory fashion: although they failed to achieve the actual aim of their malicious indiscretion, the whole world’s attention has now been drawn to the apparent splendour of my situation in what is for me a highly vexatious manner, since my sole intention had been to secure the peace and quiet that I need to work at leisure. In consequence, various claims against me from every period of my extremely difficult past life have now been revived, claims which, as a result more especially of my inhabiting a most attractive property and appearing to enjoy a truly splendid situation, I can no longer dismiss by pointing out what is in fact my total lack of possessions, still less can I do so when it is a question ultimately of compensating genuine friends who once supported me with their sacrifices at a time of great need, and who are themselves now reduced to a state of impoverishment and importunity. Throughout this period, moreover, I have been importuned by all manner of people in need of assistance, people whose appeals have often been so affecting that, after considering the matter closely, I have found it impossible not to admit that what appears to be a well-to-do situation is in truth scarcely adequately endowed, and have thus been unable to deny them the help they begged of me, not least in cases of genuine hardship which I shall not trouble my august patron by relating here. Even these latter cases involve me in outgoings far in excess of my revenues. -
Moreover, my present experience — which could be gained only in my new surroundings and in my new circumstances - has shown that merely running a household in domestic conditions such as mine is more expensive than I had previously been led to believe, as a result of my having to maintain a garden which has been much neglected of late, of the extreme difficulty of heating the place in winter, and of sundry other complications.
Even by the end of last winter this situation had resulted in my having to think of some fundamental remedy for the troubles that then threatened. Three ways offered themselves here: -
Giving up the property, and leaving Munich completely;
-ditto-, but withdrawing to a small room in the home of the Bülow family: — firstly retaining the prospect of a possible completion of my works; secondly giving up this prospect and limiting myself simply to the superficial activities involved in establishing the School of Music. —
A new adjustment of my revenues, with the aim of creating the means whereby to preserve my present domestic arrangements, would have been the third expedient, but one which I could countenance only with the greatest reluctance, since I could see that I would again be subject to the discretion of those same administrative authorities whose kind indiscretion had recently caused me such unspeakable annoyance and anguish. -
Since then my freedom of choice has been substantially impaired by a certain incident. While I was so enthusiastically occupied in rehearsing Tristan, I was facing the threat of being given notice to quit with immediate effect and of having to move out of my house, all on the basis of a spiteful interpretation of a clause in my rental agreement. Simply in order to keep my choice open, and, above all, to have temporary peace and quiet (especially during that period of wearying activity), I was moved by Councillor of State Pfistermeister’s kind concern to entrust him with the care of keeping this disagreeable disruption at bay: with all the eagerness of a true friend - an eagerness which deserves the highest recognition and engages my warmest gratitude - the Councillor of State appears to have reported this unfortunate incident to my royal patron, and to have done so in so solicitous a manner that the gracious command to acquire the property in secret on His Majesty’s account was at once obtained, and carried out with great address. - Deeply moved and grateful though I was for this new demonstration of the most self-sacrificial interest in whatever might make my life easier for me, I nevertheless felt renewed embarrassment, since I saw that my earlier freedom of choice was now made much more difficult for me. — Since I had finally agreed with myself that my complete departure from Munich could not lie within my choice, and that my removal would be rendered necessary only if my royal friend desired it so, I had to consider the kind of establishment that would be necessary to secure my permanent residence here, including my retention of the property in which I am now living.
A change in the previous stipulations was bound in any case to seem opportune. The privileges granted me, by way of exception, in the autumn of last year extended over a period of only three years: they were intended to enable me to settle down and establish myself in the house in question, which was leased to me for a relatively short number of years, in addition to enabling me to pay the not inconsiderable rent of 3000 fl. a year. This stipulation, in particular, can no longer make sense now, inasmuch as it covers the rent and specifies a period of only two years.
As a result, and on the basis of my retaining the property which I have furnished and which I at present inhabit, it must now be possible to reach something on the lines of the following agreement.
1. His Majesty the King shall assign to me, rent-free, for the duration of my life, the property which belongs to him at No 21 Briennerstrasse.
2. Use of assets totalling twice one hundred thousand gulden, also for the duration of my life, the said sum to be made over to me in such a way that 40,000 fl. in cash be transferred to me with immediate effect, to be administered as I shall deem fit; 160,000 fl., however, shall be administered by the royal Cabinet Exchequer, with only the interest at five percent being made available to me in quarterly instalments of 2000 fl. each, in return for which all the annuities and subventions previously granted me by His Majesty, together with the stipulations thereto relating, shall be regarded as having been revoked and cancelled. -
In declaring my willingness to recognize not only my wishes but also my need for independence as having been fully and permanently satisfied by this loan, and by the form of this loan, I may add the following information concerning my use of the sum requested.
With the help of the interest on that part of the capital which remains behind in the Cabinet Exchequer I plan to defray my outgoings in such a way as to apply myself, honestly and expeditiously, to looking after and maintaining the property which has been transferred to me, and to supporting the necessary household, servants etc., in addition to meeting, in a dignified and frank manner, all the other lesser and more refined needs of a man who, at the same time, is a creative and productive artist honoured by His Majesty with important and influential commissions.
The sum of 40,000 fl. which will immediately be entrusted to me to be administered as I shall deem fit is intended, on the other hand, to provide me with a fund which would be available at all times and without further ado, enabling me to compensate others, as has proved unavoidable, for the sacrifices they made for me at an earlier date, to discharge pressing obligations from the past, or to facilitate, where appropriate, older contractual agreements (e.g. with a publisher who, in desperate times, obtained from me certain rights to the publication of my compositions which in certain circumstances could now seem oppressive, disadvantageous or even humiliating.) This fund, which I would entrust to a well-tried and experienced friend of relatively long standing for his safe administration, could therefore be reduced by me at certain times, but could equally well be increased by the addition of any revenues from abroad of which, for ex., the revenues which I can certainly expect to receive in time from performances of my works in Paris could easily reach a level not at all disadvantageous to the fund in question.
Since my royal benefactor shall be expressly appointed heir to all that I shall one day leave behind in cash, I may not be entirely unjustified in assuming, somewhat to my own gratification perhaps, that, following my death, this fund of 40,000 fl. may be restored to him unchanged, if not actually increased. At all events, the interest on this sum would enable me, in the frequent cases that arise, to bestow upon all assiduous distressed persons the support which I must now refuse them or which I can grant them only to the very real detriment of my own domestic livelihood. The interest on this sum would also be useful in defraying the costs of such holiday trips and the like as may from time to time become necessary, so that in future, however unpredictable the vicissitudes that befall me, I shall be adequately provided for here, and not be obliged to trouble my gracious patron with individual appeals for his help.
I may note expressly that I am not thinking of maintaining an equipage, nor indeed may I think of doing so. On the contrary, I count myself fortunate that I can take sufficient care of my wife who, alas, lives apart from me, and that I can do so regularly and uninterruptedly, without detriment to my personal livelihood, by means of an annual pension of 1000 thalers.
Richard Wagner
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 330