My noble and august friend,
My fairest, supreme consolation,
May love’s most heartfelt greetings go with you to your delightful Berg! - How happy it makes me to know that this change of scene will do you good! I desire only the greatest uniformity and peace: this is the outcome of a life which has always been most severely disturbed when I most needed peace and oblivion. And so I cling to this final refuge, which your heavenly love has provided for me: I tremble at the thought of setting foot outside the house and of walking through my small garden, since I do not know what misfortune might suddenly prevent me from returning to this final haven of peace. Oh! my sweet King! I have you - and nothing more in the world. Everything else that I am fond of belongs to me only in the way that the clothes I wear belong to me: only to you can I say: to you do I belong! -
My most heartfelt need drives me to be totally open with you: I feel as though I would be deceiving myself if for any reason I were to leave you in the dark concerning me. It is impossible for me to pretend to be serenely contented when I am sad at heart. Love was always the final refuge of utter sincerity, a sincerity which - not least for reasons of pride - must so often be hidden from the world. - In reply to your question which yesterday evening impressed itself upon me with such unearthly beauty and gentleness, I said I was calm and serious! - As recently as yesterday I had to suffer the most distressing and - the most elevating of experiences. - My old daemon was roused from his sleep, and put paid to the efforts of all my friends who had come from far and wide, at immense sacrifice to themselves. The news that Tristan cannot now be given before next week had a shattering effect upon all of them, wringing bitter tears from many of the men, and bringing others close to despair. Poor Klindworth had come from London just for this one day, having obtained leave of absence only with the most incredible difficulty, and at the price of the most humiliating sacrifices: he set off back again this morning, naturally without any possibility of returning. Two poor musicians came from Königsberg in Prussia, travelling 3rd-class on a cheap goods-train, with only the prospect of Tristan to sustain them throughout their three-day journey. In Pest a number of poor musicians obtained release from their duties thanks to all manner of sacrifices: others, from Weimar for ex., set off without having been able to obtain leave, at risk of losing their posts. These poor wretches were thunderstruck by the news: - in order to comfort them, I finally had to go and speak with them; they soon came to share my emotion: with genuine enthusiasm I persuaded them that, having already made such sacrifices as these, they should now risk even more; for what I could promise them was - I said - a hitherto unprecedented act of great artistic beauty. Almost all of them - are remaining!!
Is that not wonderful, my King? -
Your heavenly letter reached me while I was with them. They will all be photographed with me today at Albert’s: may I send the group photograph to my dearest friend, too? Only poor Klindworth will not be on it! -
Indeed, my beloved King! I am much loved! The modesty of these loyal friends, who wished to spare me all sight of their pain, has touched me deeply, and once again has made me feel a deep sense of earnest! -
All the love which has here been bestowed on me I lay at the feet of my lord who is loved above all else! May he bring happiness to his people, may he one day raise Germany from her sunken state: the love which so many pure souls bear me is of a quite especial kind: I dedicate it to you as the sweet May-flower of my life. My angel will not, I think, spurn its perfume! -
Uniquely true to the one I worship,
Yours,
Richard W.
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 324